Going Bump in the Night (and not in a fun way)

Posted on Mon Oct 16th, 2017 @ 10:08pm by Chief Warrant Officer Daytona Ral & Akira Zhuri

Mission: When Iconians Deserve to Die
Location: Daytona's Quarters
Timeline: Current

Daytona Ral was dreaming. These days, his dreams were usually pleasant. Being with Akira had that effect on him. Holding her in his arms as he slept comforted him and soothed away the pain of the past...usually, but not always. Some nights, he still had nightmares. Tonight was one of those nights.

The dream had started out pleasantly enough. His daughter Lianna was young, a toddler. Daytona was raising her alone, with hired help. Her mother had been well connected in her clan and, though she had in her own way loved Daytona, she would not allow an affair with a commoner ruin her prospects. It had taken every ounce of persuasion Daytona could muster to get her to carry Lianna to term. Once Lianna was born, her mother left and never returned.

Daytona raised his daughter as best he could. He quit his career with the intelligence services and joined the police. Someone from his own clan came to help with childcare and generally ran his home so that he could spend his most of his down time with his daughter, and at least a little bit of time with whatever woman was warming his bed at the time. It wasn't a bad life.

Lianna was showing him a picture she'd made with finger paints, now, a little older, something she'd made with clay. Older now, singing a song she had learned at school. Daytona kept flashing through their life together. Now she was a young teenager, nervous to talk to a boy. Now she was an older teenager, mortified that a boy DARE not like her. She would show him...men had to learn their place...

"I mean, not you, Dad. Just these dumb boys! Don't they know what their job is?"

Daytona tried to protest, tried to slow things down. As Lianna grew up, she grew closer to the end of her life at the hands of Daytona's enemies.

"Stop!" he shouted in his dream and muttered very softly in the waking world. "Stop! Wait! Lianna! No!"

Now she was home on break from university. So grown up, yet so much to learn. Even if she had no El-Aurian DNA in her, her normal lifespan would have reached over 200 years. With the El-Aurian DNA, well, she could live much longer than that. She had her whole life...several lives, even, ahead of her. And she knew she was in no rush. She had several lovers but no one serious. Daytona met a few here and there. Some were too casual to bother her father with.

The time of Lianna's death drew near. Now Detective Chief Inspector Ral was hearing from Lianna's employer that she hadn't been to work for several days. Now he received the message informing him that Deshok's people had kidnapped her. Daytona was assaulted with images of his assault on Deshok's criminal empire. He was sending a message to Deshok as well.

"Release my daughter immediately or I'll tear this city, this planet apart until I find her. I'll destroy your operation. I'll kill all of your associates, your friends, and your family, and then I'll kill you."

Then, as though he was being carried forth on some kind of conveyor belt, he was brought into the morgue, into the exam room, and right up to the table on which his daughter's remains lay. He tried to close his eyes, but they wouldn't close. He tried to look away, but he couldn't move. The medical examiner pulled back the sheet, and their was his daughter's brutalized face.

"How could you let them do this to me?" her corpse asked him, as tear streamed down her face. "Daddy, how could you let them do this to me?"

Back in the waking world, Daytona had been muttering more and more. The only reason he hadn't been thrashing around was that he was suffering from some kind of sleep paralysis. He couldn't move in the dream and he couldn't move in the waking world either. Suddenly, he woke up and shouted something incoherent, then sat still, his chest heaving, his body soaked in sweat.

Akira woke with a start when she heard his voice, immediately sitting up to put an arm around Daytona and then rest her head on his shoulder. There had been enough nights like this that she knew by now that there was little she could say to help him calm down, but she knew her presence was more than enough to help ground him and bring him back to the present. Even still, she could see the toll that this was having on Daytona; maybe he had put things behind him enough to get by before, but the incident on Selen VI had clearly dredged up memories and guilt he had long since buried but never truly dealt with. Akira had been working on something to try to help him, but she wondered if now was the right time...

"You alright?" she asked after while once he seemed to catch his breath, her hand tracing up and down his back in as a soothing gesture.

"No," Daytona said. He closed his eyes and took in the feel of Akira's soothing touch. "But that's helping. I'm sorry that I woke you up...again. I don't know what's wrong with me. Most nights, I am fine. We make love, we hold each other close, I sleep through the night. Sometimes, though...I'm not sure, but when I go back through my day and try to understand what I could have done to bring on a nightmare...I think that on the days when it happens I...I think maybe I sense something that reminds me of Lianna. I don't mean like a sixth sense or anything like that. I mean I literally sense something. I hear, smell, see, taste, or touch something that reminds me of her. Sometimes I realize and let myself experience the memory. Lianna and I had a good life together and I have many fond memories of my time with her. Other times...I don't think I even realize the moment where the sense memory triggered. Either way, memories of her flit through the back of my mind throughout the day, almost out of reach. I've been thinking that by the time I fall asleep on those days, my subconscious has been working overtime, churning memories of Lianna around in the back of my head and at night, while I'm asleep and my subconscious is more active, the memories sort of take over and get out of control. I must have had a sense memory today, though I can't really think of a moment where I consciously thought about my daughter. I'm so sorry I keep putting you through this."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Daytona; I do not require sleep, so the broken sleep cycles will not affect me in the long term as it will for you," Akira said softly. "I know it's hardly a comparison to what you've been through, but I find myself thinking of my father from time to time, even without meaning to; I see or hear something and I just... smile, because whether it's his memories or mine, when something reminds me of him I can't help but smile, even though the pain of his absence makes me ache..." She had known her father for such a small time, only a couple of months, but he had been her whole world as she struggled to learn to interact with her surroundings during those early days of her existence. "I just wish you could experience this same phenomenon when you think of Lianna, instead of these terrible nightmares."

"So do I," Daytona said with a sigh. "They've been less frequent recently. But they haven't gone away. I don't think anything will ever take them away completely. That's not the way the mind works, at least as I understand things. But it would be nice to be able to reduce their frequency a bit more."

Daytona kissed Akira, then rose from the bed. The sweat had mostly dried, but now he felt a bit gross.

"I need a shower," he said. "Join me if you'd like. Otherwise, I'll be back in a moment and, if that amazing mind of yours hasn't come up with a solution to my nightmare problem by then, I guess I'll either go back to sleep or see if I can find some other way to occupy my time."

Akira smiled and rose with him to join him in the shower. Truth was, Akira had been working on a 'solution', she just wasn't sure if what she had planned was the right thing to do or if now was the right time. Well, not NOW, of course, but after the shower and a Rigellian cure-all, maybe...

"Actually, I have something in mind if you feel up to a trip to the holodeck. After the shower, of course," Akira said, blushing shyly.

"I'm intrigued," Daytona said. He pulled Akira close, enveloping her in his arms, and kissed her. Then he took her hand and led her into the bathroom where he turned on the shower.

[Later]

Akira and Daytona walked down the corridors to the holodeck, hand in hand. As expected, the Rigellian cure-all helped to lift his mood significantly, but she could tell he still had a dark cloud hanging over his head. Akira hoped that her little 'surprise' would help him as they walked through the great doors to enter the holodeck, but she was also understandably nervous about how he would react, though this did little to still her hand as she accessed the program from the holodeck arch. The room, originally a blank black grid, transformed into standard Starfleet interior bulkheads.

"I'm sorry for this..." Akira said softly, feeling guilty that she was about to open a very painful wound for Daytona, but her heart was in the right place, she just wanted to help him, but she also knew this was going to hurt. Akira led him through the program, which unfolded into a standard Starfleet Sickbay; it was not the Hera's Sickbay, she was very clear in the design of this room that she didn't want it to be the Hera's Sickbay so that seeing the real Sickbay would not feel like another painful reminder of his daughter. Then came the punchline as Akira led him through the medical bays, past the doctors and nurses, to the morgue.

"Forgive me..." she uttered in a sad, hushed tone, finally releasing Daytona's hand to go open one of the drawers and there was Lianna, covered to her shoulders in a white sheet. Akira had accessed Daytona's file to recreate his beloved daughter, but she didn't have the heart to access the file involving Lianna's death to recreate her battered state; instead, Lianna looked peaceful and serene almost like she was sleeping, clearly dead with her pale pallor, but still at peace.

Daytona drew in a sharp breath. A lump formed in his throat and his eyes began to water. With a trembling hand, he gently touched his daughter's face. Tears flowed freely down his face now. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Lianna's brow.

"She was so beautiful," he said. Then he smiled. "She was always beautiful, and she knew it. Prime Number help the boy who failed to pay attention to her when she was a teenager, and even into young adulthood. Boys had few purposes as far as Lianna was concerned back then. Lifting heavy objects and pleasuring her were about all she thought they were good for. Not only was she attractive, but she extremely intelligent. It wasn't until university that she began to meet young men who were her intellectual equal and then began to see that there was more to boys than sex and manual labor. That things sort of smoothed out her rough edges. I had been worried she was going to be as gentrified as her mother, even though they'd never met and we certainly never lived like nobility. I had been worried that I had failed in my duties as a parent. But she worked herself out. She was barely fifty when she died...when she was killed. Between her mother's DNA and mine, she had hundreds of years of life ahead of her, maybe more. I know you don't want me to blame myself...that you think I shouldn't dwell on what ifs. What if I hadn't become a policeman. What if I hadn't been so zealous about my work. What if I hadn't been so arrogant as to think I could save her. When I'm being rational, when I can clear my head and gain focus, I...well, maybe I don't forgive myself, but at least I see the wisdom of not dwelling on the past. But at night these thoughts sneak up on me and before I know it, they've got free rein in my mind."

Daytona sighed.

"I try to tell myself that they would have killed her anyway," he said. "And I know that she probably would have rather died than be recaptured by those monsters. She didn't know they were going to set her free. I read the coroner's report. What they did to her...she wouldn't have wanted to experience more of that. She was determined to be free of them. Alive or dead, I don't believe she cared at that point."

Akira watched with a sad expression as the raw and powerful emotions bombarded Daytona, but she managed a sad smile when she saw that he was not angry at her for doing this. Instead, she just listened as he reminisced about Lianna, letting him work through the pain and memories at his own pace until he came to the resolution: Lianna's fate had been inevitable.

"I've-" Akira started hesitantly, but her voice broke as she wrung her hands together while anxiety built in her chest. "It may sound morbid, but I've been studying death and how different cultures cope, even looking into religion and the possibility of an afterlife, all the while wondering if... if such a thing would even apply to an artificial life like myself... But I've learned that how we treat our dead is important to the grieving process; you said before that the battered body you went to see was not your daughter, not anymore, but... but she was, a-and... and you..." she struggled to say. She hadn't practiced anything to say, she was just making things up as she went along, but it was so hard, she found that this was painful to herself as well; it was like a vice around her throat, she felt like she couldn't breath, she just wanted to cry for him, with him. "You couldn't accept it then, you didn't say goodbye; I know she is just a projection, a facsimile, but tell her now, everything that you've wanted to say but have held back."

Daytona looked at Akira with a puzzled expression on his face, then turned his gaze back to his 'daughter'.

"I..." he began. "I'm...sorry. Not because I didn't protect you. Like every parent, I wanted to keep you safe from harm, and like every parent I've got to accept that you were an adult. You had your own life with dangers of its own. I'm sorry because the danger that took you came from my life, not yours. It came to you because of your connection to me and I am so sorry for that. I'm sorry for every conversation we won't get to have, and that I won't be present when you get married and I won't get to tell your children embarrassing stories about their mother and spoil them rotten. I'm sorry for everything I may have left unsaid, and for those things I wish I hadn't said. I thank the Prime Number everyday for the time we did have together. Even the pain of losing you to violence is not enough to make me wish I never had you in my life. Having you in my life saved me...losing you caused me to lose myself. But...I'm finding myself again, bit by bit...with some help. So, don't worry about me. I can take care of myself and when I can't I have help, someone to anchor me, to keep me from drowning in the past. Rest, Little One. You are free now."

Akira smiled at the bittersweet moment as it brought to mind the day her father had died and she absorbed his matrix; she could still feel those trace impulses of him, a reminder of that final goodbye she had said to him, but for as sad as it made her, she still recalled this memory with fondness as she felt the love Arivek had felt in those final moments of his existence, and the pride he had for his daughter and the woman she would one day become. Akira thanked him everyday for the gift of life he had given her, both in her accidental creation and in the willing sacrifice he made to save her, and she was especially thankful now that she had Daytona in her life.

"I hope you can forgive me for all this," Akira said in a quiet soft tone as she approached Daytona, hesitantly reaching out to take his hand. "I hope I didn't show any disrespect to her memory, and I'm sorry to have reopened old hurts, but... I think it was necessary; I don't.... I don't think I would have been able to cope with my father's loss if I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to him... Even still, I feel bad, and I worry if I have over-stepped any boundaries."

Daytona brought Akira's hand to his lips and kissed it. With his other hand he brushed a loose lock of hair away from his daughter's face and placed one more light kiss on her forehead.

"Goodbye, my daughter," he said as he stood up straight again. "Computer, end program."

He pulled Akira into a hug and held her there for several minutes, enjoying the feel of his lover pressed close against him with her arms around him.

"Thank you," he said to her, his voice just above a whisper. "Thank you for giving me the chance to say goodbye to my daughter."

"You are not upset with me for doing this?" Akira asked as she held him, still feeling uncertain that she had done the right thing.

"No," Daytona said. "I'm grateful. To be honest, you're not the first person to suggest this idea. With the advance of holotechnology...well...it's been suggested to me before this. I rejected the idea every time. I wasn't ready to give up my guilt and rage and sadness. I felt like if I gave those up I was giving up a part of my daughter. Now that I've given those up...I feel closer to Lianna than ever before. Oh, Akira...my love. You have given me so much. Remember when we first met? You got angry at me because you thought I was only interested in you because I felt you were a scientific curiosity? That I didn't see you as a person?
I'm so glad you didn't stay angry at me then. I remember at the time feeling as though I might have just pushed someone really special out of my life. And I was right...about you being special, that is. You make my life better, Akira. You make me better."

Akira smiled brightly. "Well, I hardly 'suggested' it, you had no idea what I had planned, so it wasn't like I gave you much of a chance to say no," she admitted sheepishly. "But I am glad that I did not upset you, that it was able to help. And I hold no allusions that I have solved anything, I just the hope that now this pain can finally start to fade," she continued as she held him lovingly.

They held each other a bit longer before Daytona spoke.

"Well," he said. "It's too early for work, but not early enough to go back to sleep again. Whatever should I do? Seduce you? Feed you? Both? I know this great luxury hotel on Captivar III. It's like a palace. Actually, I think it was a palace. Anyway, I've never slept in, or otherwise put to use, a more comfortable bed in my life, not even the one at Artan Orbital Fortress. And the food is fantastic. Should we go check in and order room service...eventually."

Daytona sighed and gave Akira a squeeze.

"I love you, Akira Zhuri," he said.

"What, you didn't get enough seduction in the shower?" Akira teased playfully. But she was not at all opposed to 'distracting' her amorous Rigellian if that was what he needed in this moment, to replace that sad somberness of his nightmare and the farewell to his daughter with ecstasy and joy. "Sure, the holodeck isn't scheduled for use until Alpha shift, that should leave us plenty of time to enjoy this hotel of yours."

"I think you've known me long enough now to realize that 'enough' and 'lovemaking' are two words I rarely use in the same sentence," Daytona said with a grin. "Computer, please take us to the Skatadorian Arms on Captivar III..."