Posted on Mon Dec 31st, 2018 @ 7:34pm by Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox
Lieutenant Junior Grade Melanie Dox, personal log.
I can't sleep. It's been days but the best I get is a couple of hours before I wake up screaming. I've not been able to get the images shown to me by the trickster god, Anansi, out of my mind.
When I try and sleep, I see the spider chasing me through the corridor. I see myself as a little girl with my ears chopped off. I hear Anansi's call me Mnhei'sahe. He said it was my real name that I'd forgotten and I have no way of knowing anything for sure anymore.
I've tried to keep busy with my duties, but I can only distract myself for so long. It's gotten to where flying the Unlucky Lady being chased by a Witch and flying monkeys is a welcome distraction. I looked it up and it's apparently from an Earth story called 'The Wizard of Oz.”
I didn't watch many movies on Earth. I didn't get it.
In theory, I should try and talk to Councilor Jurot, but I don't feel comfortable doing so. While I know that during our first meeting, she was possessed by the goddess, Gaia, I can't quite get the think veiled threats out of my mind. She bragged about her ability to force herself into my mind and I can't help but think about Anansi doing the same. I shouldn't be, but I'm afraid of her. I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's true.
Doctor Dael is qualified to clear me for duty and they have done so, but I don't want to burden them further with my craziness. I feel like I already put too much on them in Sickbay and feel terrible about vomiting my issues at them.
I just don't want to think about this anymore. I need to sleep.