A Right Proper Vacation - 3 of 3

Posted on Thu Oct 31st, 2019 @ 11:20am by Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Ensign Fiona O'Dell & Jaeih Dox-t'Aan
Edited on on Thu Oct 31st, 2019 @ 11:23am

Mission: Family Detention
Location: Earth, Ireland, Dromore Castle
Timeline: 2396

It was hours later, and Briaar, Fiona and Baby Minnie were all cuddled up together on the comfortably large bed. The room was drafty and the window frame creaked, but the blanket was thick and The very large Tellarite was providing enough body heat for the entire family as they snored, one on top of the other.

From across the mid-sized room, the dark fireplace began to make sounds as it there was a fire in it, and little Minnie began to stir at the sound as her bovine ears twitched.

As Briaar and Fiona slept hard thanks to copious amounts of whiskey, the tiny tot raised her head and blinked the sleep out of her eyes as she looked towards the source of the invisible, crackling fire. And as she looked, a small green orb of light appeared in the fireplace and slowly floated across the room towards the door and passed through to the other side.

Letting out a confused snort, there came a new sound from just outside the door as Minnie began to awkwardly crawl over Briaar’s doubly ample belly, which caused the Minotaur’s mom to snore a little louder and stir a bit. Then, with a bit more physical dexterity than one might have attributed to her, she climbed past Briaar and slid down the thick quilt to thump her diapered bottom on the hardwood floor. As she fell off the bed, she let out a startled moo that finally woke up the ginger test pilot.

The test pilot who could now hear the strange sound outside the door. The sound of the song she had been playing earlier being hummed as a green glow came from the crack below the door.

Going from a drunken slumber to full wakefulness by the prospect that a supernatural entity was singing an alluring lullaby to her child, Fiona O'Dell scrabbled about the bed, looking for Minnie. "Minerva? Minnie Moo? Minerva Moo Mary Margaret Mona Carrot, where are ye, child?" In a panic, Fiona began pulling and thrashing with the blankets, rousing her snoring partner as she acted in the impulse that the only defense against ghostly singing was to corral the baby, of course.

Who was up and waddling her way toward the door. Toward the door that was opening slowly, to illuminate the room oh so slightly with a spectral glowing green form of a female figure, singing the haunting lullaby in an unearthly echoing voice.

Muttering, still more than half-asleep, Briaar pulled at the blankets petulantly. “What’r y’ doin’, Fee? G’back t’ sleep.”

Inhaling sharply, eyes wide in shock, Fiona let out a banshee's wail and vaulted from the bed, kneeing Gavarus in the ribs in the process as she scrambled across the floor to rescue her child from an otherworldly presence that clearly had sinister designs.

At that, Briaar was shocked wide awake and let out a loud ‘OOOF’ of her own as she tried to right herself on the bed and look to see where her partner had run off too. But it was a spastic bit of flailing and turning to follow the sound that led to all 190 kilograms of the tubby Tellarite rolling off the bed and slapping hard on the old wooden floor.

As she fell, she let out a string of obscenities in protest, her eyes wide with surprise. “HOLY @#$%ING SHIT!!! SHITSHITSHIT!!! GYAAAGHHH!!!

Righting herself quickly, Briaar saw the same thing Fiona was looking at. The ghostly, green glowing form of a woman in a flowing dress beckoning towards their entranced daughter. And she watched as that same daughter was waddling towards the figure with more than a little too much speed. Scrambling from the floor, Briaar was right behind Fiona as they hauled ass after Minnie into the hall.

But where the ethereal specter went left, Minnie suddenly went right. But with the speed with which the two were trying to catch up, they both went straight into the cold, stone wall opposite their door. “OWW, DAMMIT!” They both cried in unison as they looked around to find their daughter.

The otherworldly visage was nowhere to be found. No green glow. No haunting singing. Just little Minnie, standing with her head tilted in puzzlement as she looked down the end of the hall. And at the end of the hall, stood the old silver-haired woman they had nicknamed ‘The Librarian’.

Looking first at Minnie with what almost looked like a smile, then up at the odd couple, the woman’s face looked surprised. Then, little Minnie turned back to her parents with a giddy smile. She balled up her tiny fists and wiggled with excitement, giggling and then pointing at the mysterious woman who closed the book in her hands and stepped back to turn a corner and vanish into the darkness.

“What the effin’ @#$%! It’s HER? Is she doin’ all this creepy shit, Fee?” Gavarus said as she stomped over to sweep little Minnie up in a bear hug of protection.

"We're g'win ta find oot, b'gawd," O'Dell growled, pumped on adrenaline and turning her fear quite quickly into overprotective parental anger. "HEY, YE? I'll have words with ye, dinna ye be runnin off joost yet!" Barefooted, clad in an oversized T-shirt advertising three cartoonish figures and the logo 'Pigs In Space', Fiona pushed up the sleeves of the garment as she stormed down the hall after the Librarian.

Right behind her, Gavarus’ porcine hooves clicked and clacked loudly on the cold, stone floors of the hall, clutching Minnie tightly. While they turned the corner, rushing after the retreating woman, Minnie was giggling like it was a fun adventure. Meanwhile, her anxious mother, the taller of the two, was muttering under her breath as they ran, “Shit, shit, shit, shit...>”

Making their way to the main staircase to the great hall, they paused for a moment to look. The woman dubbed the Librarian was nowhere to be seen. But at this point, Fiona was too mad to be scared, and whatever the old woman was, she was no ghost.

“Where the hell did she go, Fee?” Briaar asked in a whisper as they made their way down the stairs to the main hall.

Pivoting in place looking around, looking up, looking down and coming up with no evidence of the silver-haired schoolmarm, O'Dell fumed. "Bloody ghost singin creepin me oot and tryin' ta make off wi' oor bebeh... bedamned ghosts best stay away from me daaater or they'll get the strap... somehow," the picayune pilot grumbled in a reasonable impression of her own father as she checked on Minnie, who was reaching intently over Fiona's head toward an empty corner, making grabby hands and giggling at nothing.

"What? What tis it, wee missy? What are ye wantin' oover..." Turning to follow the child's gaze, Fiona leaned against Gavarus, then peered intently at the corner. Seeing no ghostly manifestation... manifest, the little lass wagged her finger at the empty corner. "Pess off, ghosties. Dinna be tempting me girl to be no bridge twixt the livin' and the dead. We'll have nunna that, now. Run along or stay stuck here, whichivvir suits yuir fancy."

Which was when the empty corner sneezed, and O'Dell blanched back, spreading her arms behind her as if to protect Gavarus' thighs.

"Gah! Gahhh!" Minnie squealed delightedly, and O'Dell's eyes narrowed. Exchanging a look with Gavarus, the space hog held the baby out slowly and carefully as the toddler wriggled and squirmed in anticipation, making a happy lowing sound. As they reached the corner, O'Dell stayed in close to the babe, to see what she was after when she bumped into something that wasn't there. Which was when Minnie found something to latch onto, and she pulled sometone who wasn't there forward just at bit- a remarkable feat of strength and coordination for a three-month-old toddler.

“Oh, Fvadt.” Came a slightly familiar voice with a familiar curse from the empty space as forward, stumbled the silver-haired librarian as what appeared to be the telltale shimmer of a cloaking device rippled away from her. In her hands was still one of her books. Clearly, Minnie hadn’t been fooled by the technological display, however, her happy excitement over the unfamiliar stranger was still a bit of a mystery. At least for a moment.

“Okay, lady! What the effin’ @#$% is the deal?! Clearly, you’ve got some high-end holographics tech and think @#$%ing with us is funny.” Briaar ranted as, with Minnie tucked back on her hip still reaching for the mystery woman, she snatched the book out of the Librarian’s hand.

“Wait, don’t…” The Librarian protested lightly as the porcine Engineer opened it up, and as she did, her face looked more than a little surprised.

“Uh… Fee. Check this out.” Briaar held the open book down to her fuming partner to reveal not an old book as it seemed to be, but a cleverly concealed PaDD and Tricorder assembly. All of it, Starfleet technology.

"AWaaaaaitaminnit," O'Dell's eyes narrowed as her jaw stuck out defiantly and her pale skin blushed a bit. However, whatever she was about to say was lost in an excited shouting from the Bolean's room, as one of them stuck their heads out the door. "You have GOT to see this!!"

Grabbing the Librarian's wrist, the spindly O'Dell began marching to the room of the blue group, dragging the spinster along. "Whativvir's happening I'm nae lettin' ye oota me sight," Fiona grumbled as she stalked over to see another ghost, a spectral maiden singing the same creepy rendition of the Castle's own song, in a haunting lullabye as the Boleans filmed it excitedly.

"This is one of your local ghosts, yes?" the tourist asked excitedly, recording the phenomenon with a number of devices simultaneously.

Hesitantly taking up the rear, clutching Minnie tight, Briaar looking in with a raised eyebrow. All the while, the tiny tot on her hip kept smiling over at the silver-haired enigma that Fiona was clamped onto. And as she did, the concealed tricorder in the book she was holding began displaying data.

"What the hell? Fee. The old lady's book thingy. Check this shit out. It's been recording scan data on all this bullshit." Holding the book up to the room, it blinked silently as she waved it around at the ceiling.

"Frickin' HOLOEMITERS all over the room. Not just the fireplace. There's one in that corner of the ceiling, two behind the mirror. I bet this castle is loaded with the things." Then the testy Tellarite looked back at the Librarian with an angry glare. "Okay lady! What's your effed up game?"

But before the mysterious woman who had been doing her best to keep quiet could speak, the Klingons came out of their room from down the hall with a series of conspicuous bruises and torn nightclothes. "I sware by Kah'less, it is impossible to… uh… sleep in this castle! What nonsense is this?" The male Klingon shouted as they stomped over.

And at the same time, the Castle's master, Peter Plunkett, came rushing down the hallway towards all the commotion.

"What's all the ruckus and bejeezis doown here! Y'think you people'd seen a ghost!" the old man complained vocieferously as he came down the hallway in his nightshirt with his dressing robe over top of it and his slippered feet slapping the stone floor. As gavarus turned the tricorder toward the old man, his face fell, and his shoulders slumped. "Ah, bollocks."

"Aye, bollocks if fookin' right! So alla this is just bogus tourist trapo crap ta spook people so thay'll stay in yuir bloody draft-arsed castle? Because ye've rigged up a holographic fookin ghopst ta scare the crap an' crackers oota people. And then there's yuir accomplice here..." Fiona O'Dell turned on the 'Librarian' she had suspected of being a ghost, a kidnapper of just a Sinister Person of Interest. Whoever she was, it was time for the unmasking and the end to the tomfoolery, which was somehow less fun when she was not the one instituting it, and it made her heart leap out of her chest for concern for her baby. "Aaaaaalreet, we know tis a holgram, lady, so give it oop and let's see who ye really are, aye?"

The silver-haired woman rolled her eyes dramatically and looked at the tiny Minotaur who was still staring at her with a smile and an extremely familiar voice. “You know, don’t you, little one?”

Listening, Briaar squinted slightly and then looked down at Fiona with confusion as the Librarian reached into a pocket in her fuzzy sweater. And as she did, she continued, “I’m not his asinine accomplice, Ensign. I was attempting to keep you two out of trouble when I discovered this little tourist scam and began investigating.”

And with a chirp, the hologram dropped and little Minnie squealed with glee. As instead of the silver-haired woman, there stood the Hera’s independent Intel operative and Fiona and Briaar’s most unusual drinking buddy, Mrs. Jaeih Dox.

"GRANNY MURDER-PUNCH?!?" Gavarus and O'Dell exclaimed in unison, even as Minnie squealed in delight and reached for the pointy-eared maven of subterfuge with delight.

"So THAT's why Minnie was trying to get to her so hard... but why was she chasing the ghost?" O'Dell puzzled as she withdrew the hand holding the Romulan operative's wrist as if it were red hot, as the midget Maroposian knew the capabilities of the older woman and held a more than healthy amount of fear for the woman's hand-to-hand prowess. For her part, Jaeih looked down at O’Dell and simply rolled her eyes at the reaction.

"Ach, that'd likely be me fault, mum. Y'see, yuir lullaby was so hauntin', I ran it through some filters and echoed it a bit to make it sound more uneartlhy, then added it to me phantom lady of the castle. So yuir wee bairn there was most likely coomin fer the ghost, a'cause twas the voice of her dam she heard, aye?" Getting blank stares all around, the caretaker rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Look, tis nae easy to run a hotel, and not ivveryone is willing to come to a noo transporter zone. So a man does what he must to feed his family, aye?"

"And I'da gotten awee with it too, if t'weren't fuir ye meddlin' kid and your wee cow!" the elderly caretaker declared, then adding in a mutter. "...and yuir librarian, and yuir giant space pig..."

“Oh, you have two ex-wives and no children to speak of, Mr. Plunkett.” Jaieh said with a cricked eyebrow and a flat expression. “Still, there’s no harm done and all you were trying to do was create an entertaining experience. There’s no record of theft, assault or any other illicit activities here for the duration of your tenure as caretaker.”

The elder Romulan locked eyes with the old Irishman and dropped her tone slightly as she continued, “Which is fortunate for you because, believe me, had my investigation determined that you were a legitimate threat to these three, this conversation would be going VERY differently.” Then her tone raised again. “Simply market this as it is: A RECREATION of a Ghostly experience in a haunted ancient Irish Castle. Make it… a mystery theater, of sorts.”

Listening, the two Klingon’s finally chimed in as the Boleans were simply filming the entire scene as it unfolded. “Wait! So these spirits are some form of elaborate RUSE, and we dined with a ROMULAN!?”

"Aye, tis an entertainment, like she said. And aye, ye dined wi' a Romulan and she dinna eat yuir bebeh. Git oover it," Fiona O'Dell turned on the Klingons just as quickly. "Noow let's go to the bar, where our Mr. Plunkett will pour us all some drinks on the house, then ye kin git back to yuir Pon Farr or whativvir ye call it in Klingonese, and we'll all have quite a vacation story to tell, now won't we?"

Leaning over with a smirk, Jaeih whispered to O’Dell, “Just so you know, it’s ‘nga’chuq’.”

Without waiting for a reply, the small spitfire grabbed Plunkett's hand with one of hers and tugged at Gavarus' elbow, who didn't need much coaxing in the direction of free drinks whatever the hour. With the confidence of a fool convinced the parade is following them, O'Dell led the way to the bar.

--------------------------

After a long and unusually eventful evening, most of the hotel guests had slept in extremely late, and Fiona and Briaar were no exceptions. Of course, little Minnie was up at the crack of dawn wanting to play. But this time the inebriated couple could sleep through the bouncing baby's need to play, thanks to the unexpected arrival of a willing babysitter who rarely slept late.

But eventually, noon rolled around and the odd couple that had become the odd family was begrudgingly awake and packing to return to the Hera. With their empty luggage on the bed, Briaar was stuffing their clothes in like a college student on leave while Fiona was packing the diaper bag with military precision. And in a plush chair in the corner, Jaeih had Minnie on her knee, bouncing her up and down.

As Minnie giggled with the elder Romulan that she clearly liked, the towering Tellarite leaned over with a quizzical expression, “So… uh… how long have you been… ya’ know… following us, Mrs. Dox?”

Cricking an eyebrow, Jaeih leaned over slightly while wagging a finger at the mini Minotaur and replied plainly, “I was dropped off via shuttle from the ship shortly after receiving your first set of images of the little one here. But I did not wish to disrupt your day in Clonakilty when I arrived, so I simply found a place on the periphery to observe and make sure you two stayed out of trouble. And I will admit, this little one was extremely adorable playing with those sheep.”

"While I moost admit, I nivvir thought ye'd come, I'm right glad ye did, Mrs. Dox," O'Dell admitted. "Fresh air, beautiful countryside... a right proper vacation, aye? And, ah, we dinna ask ye to come along to bebesit, but tisnae unwelcome either. We're glad ye came... even if ye did it in yuir own spooky stalkerish vaguely terrifying sorta way."

"Well, I wouldn't want to disrupt your expectations of me, Ensign. But yes, I am as well, glad I came. Wouldn't you agree, Miss Minerva Moo Mary Margaret Mona Carrot, Hm?" At that, the stern-faced Romulan woman's face split in a prim smile, to which Minnie gave a bubbly laugh and an enthusiastic nod. Turning the baby to regard her unconventional parents, the master spy turned professional grandmother bowed her head slightly.

"A right proper vacation indeed."