Filling in the Holes

Posted on Sat Dec 28th, 2019 @ 11:17pm by Lieutenant Mona Gonadie & Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Jaeih Dox-t'Aan
Edited on on Tue Dec 31st, 2019 @ 11:42am

Mission: Neutral Zone Neutrality
Location: Deck 8, Crew Quarters
Timeline: 2396

Standing in the empty crew quarters that were next to hers, Lieutenant Commander Mnhei’sahe Dox reminisced. The young, Romulan pilot and unlikely diplomat had just returned to the Hera from a mission to the reunification of Mol Krun'chi and was looking for her wife. She had been assigned for the Hera for over a year now, and the time had been something of an emotional roller coaster of incredible ups and devastating downs. And the room where she stood, that had once been filled with color and life and laughter, had represented both.

Not too long ago, these had been the quarters of the Hera’s former Chief Medical Officer, Lieutenant Asa Dael: Mnhei’sahe’s best friend. And in truth, the first friend that the often embattled young Romulan woman had made on the magnificent starship.

Walking through the now sterile and generic space with stock chairs where Asa’s old, brightly colored bean bags once sat, filled the young pilot with a feeling of deep sadness. Mnhei'sahe had just returned to the Hera from an emotionally exhausting away mission and her bond-mate Mona wasn't home, which lead her to the moment of introspection she found herself in now.

A smile threatened to crack Mnhei’sahe’s stern facade as she ran a hand across the window into space. She remembered that first night in Ten-Forward when the remarkably young El-Aurian physician gleefully introduced themselves with the boundless energy and compassion that had become their trademark. They talked and shared and even laughed that first night, and Mnhei’sahe had made the first real friend she had ever had in her Starfleet career. And now they were gone.

Shipped away to Earth to a promotion to Starfleet Medical to work on their radical genetic therapy procedures and develop the medicine that would be saving lives. It was a positive move in every respect, but it still made Mnhei’sahe feel miserable. Miserable and guilty.

It was Asa’s work as a doctor ON Mnhei’sahe that had opened the door that lead to the doctor leaving through it. Mnhei’sahe was, of course, Romulan. But she had spent most of her life believing that she was half-human. When she was no more than four, her mother had subjected her to radical cosmetic surgery and intense genetic modification that rewrote the woman’s DNA in an attempt to hide her true parentage from those that would seek her out. And so she was given an advanced DNA patch using the genetic material provided by the smuggler, Declan Dox.

The surgery made her pointed ears round and the DNA alterations changed everything else. It gave her Declan’s red hair and freckles. It lightened her skin to a pale pink and tainted her green blood to a sickly brown. And it did something else. It more than halfed her expected lifespan due to the damage it had wrought upon her. But Asa Dael discovered all of that. And Asa Dael worked exhaustively to repair the damage that had been done to their friend.

Surgeries, genetic therapy and DNA cleansing restored Mnhei’sahe’s true nature. Her ears were pointed again and her skin a thick olive. She had requested that Asa keep the gene codes that kept her hair red as she had become quite accustomed to it, but the blood in her veins was green again and she could now live well into her two hundreds. All because of the remarkable skills of her friend.

But all of that work got reported to Starfleet and, combined with the work that they had been performing on the crew, caught the attention of the higher-ups. And just like that, a transfer order was made, and Asa had left the Hera. And Dox had lost her best friend.

The morose Romulan woman had since made other friends. Her relationship with Rita Paris had become one of the closest sisters. And her friendship with the Miradonian pilot, Mona Gonadie, had blossomed into the deepest of loves and eventually marriage. But still, Mnhei’sahe looked at the pathetic empty room and missed her first, best friend.

They would keep in touch, sending the occasional hologram messages back and forth, but Mnhei’sahe didn’t even know where to start. Regulations made so much of what she would want to tell Asa classified. She couldn’t tell her best friend that she had been made a representative of the Romulan senate, meeting with a Reunification colony on her grandmother’s behalf. She couldn’t tell her what she had learned from Masato Rei about her own potential fate. She could tell her that she now knew where she was born. And everything she couldn’t say felt like a weight around her neck.

When she came on board the Hera, she was Melanie Dox. Since then she learned that even that was false. Her true name of Mnhei’sahe had been hidden and since restored. Names were extremely important in Romulan culture. One had their given name. A second locative name, given for where you came from. A third family name. And a fourth, hidden name. That fourth name was something Romulan only learned later in their lives, and it had yet to reveal itself to Mnhei’sahe. And she had THREE Family names now. Her Romulan family name of t’Rul, from her grandmother. The name of Dox, taken from her adopted Human guardians when she was a teenager. The Miradonian name of t'Sendatu-onay for her marriage with Mona that meant ‘mended wings’ in that tongue. And now, she knew where she was born.

Now, her name was Mnhei’sahe ir-Saithe… taken from the village of ch’Saithe where she was born… t'Sendatu-onay Dox t’Rul. Not that she was going to force anyone else to really have to learn all of that as it was a mouthful in any language, but it was something she wanted to brag about and with Mona not in their quarters, she was taking a moment to sulk and feel lonely.

A feeling that was wholly unnecessary as she heard the sound of her bond-mate, Mona Gonadie, standing in the open doorway. Turning, Mnhei'sahe felt that warm, familiar energy and her heart soared at the sight that she had missed so strongly while they were apart. Mnhei'sahe's eyes lit up and she smiled broadly as she ran to the doorway to embrace her very pregnant wife. "Mona!"

"My Minay!" Mona replied, pulling her lover into a tight hug, which caused a few feathers to fly free. "I've missed you so very much. Jaeih did as well, though I don't think she'll admit it. She's talking to an engineer about our request to remove the wall between these two quarters. They should be able to have it out in the next couple days."

"Oh, that's good. I was not looking forward to the prospect of having to move to Deck 14. The family quarters are huge, but there are no windows down there." Mnhei'sahe said with a slightly forced smile, betraying her internal conflict. Not that Mona needed to see that to sense something.

"Now... Something is bothering you and you're going to share it with me," Mona and the chicks inside of her were thrumming like a small chorus by this point, happy to have Dox home with them.

Sighing, Dox grinned again and chuckled awkwardly as she ran her finger across the side of Mona's cheek. "It's not fair that you always know when something's going on in my head. I'm a Romulan. We're supposed to be mysterious and impossible to read. You're ruining the mystique."

It was a light attempt at a joke, but not one she maintained as Mnhei'sahe took Mona's hands in her own so that their empathic bond was a strongly connected as possible as she told her love of what had happened on Mol Krun'chi. She told her of the late-night visit from Masato Rei's spectral horse, Taxes, who led her to the bedchamber of the dying Nurema ir-Korthe. The woman who once cared for Jaeih as a child and later helped Jaeih deliver Mnhei'sahe herself. She told Mona of how she learned, in that night, that she had been born in that small village and not on a freighter out in space. And then she told Mona that she watched as Rei led the spirit of Nurema for this life to the next. She told her bond-mate all the things she could not tell, in full detail, to anyone else without betraying the secrets that Masato Rei trusted Mnhei'sahe with.

Mona nodded thoughtfully as the images of what her love saw filtered in with what she was saying. "I have to wonder about a few things... Like if everyone goes to this same afterlife and all that... Or if we each see it differently... What I do know is that you've been given a great gift and the trust of a great and powerful being that provides a crucial role in this universe. I understand why the memories of this person are shrouded in your mind and why you have lunch with them."

"It is said that the Moon Goddess and the Trickster employ similar memory tricks to stay out of the minds of Miradonians. That being said, I would recommend leaving out most of the otherworldly details if you tell anyone else about this." Even the chicks inside of her were quieter than usual as Mona spoke. It was as if this was a taboo subject and they didn't want to get in trouble for listening in. "So... I assume you'll be telling Jaeih at least about meeting Nurema?"

Nodding, Mnhei'sahe sighed. She felt the three girls slow their usual thrumming and the sense of distance it created in their shared empathic link was distressing. "I have to. Aside from the fact that I promised that I would, I just... should. Before we left, I checked the colony's local newsfeed and found the listing for her... for her obituary. So I have an official reason for knowing. But... you're right. I know I can't tell anyone else about Taxes or any of that. It's frustrating, but I suppose I'm starting to understand the drive mother had in keeping so much from me for my own protection."

Mona nodded sagely, being reminded of something from the Moon Goddess Scriptures. "Few Miradonians pay heed to the Underlogs of our scriptures, but my foster parents made sure we knew even them. One of the proverbs in them was that some secrets the goddess must keep for herself or she loses the power of blessings. So to must we keep the secrets of our kin or we lose the covenant of our molt. I think I'm starting to understand it as well."

“Ie…” Dox said, agreeing and slipping into the Romulan word for ‘yes’ without thinking as she thought of what Mona had said. “Still, regardless of the details of how I know, I will need to tell mother.”

“Tell mother what?” Jaeih Dox said with a smirk, clearing her throat behind the couple. Standing in the still-open doorway, the skilled Intelligence operative and former Tal’Shiar agent was among the few people who could sneak up on the usually alert young woman, but Dox was uniquely distracted at the moment talking to Mona. “Good evening. Mnhei’sahe. I would have been here sooner, but I was just giving Mona’s room plans to the engineering department for her.”

Handing the PaDD in her hand to her Miradonian Daughter-In-Law, Jaeih nodded as she finished a thought from a conversation the two had clearly had earlier. “If you confirm, the department head has scheduled the construction for Tuesday at 0 ten-thirty hours and estimate it should only take a day to build out the floorplan for the children that you drew up, my dear.”

"Perfect!" Mona exclaimed, taking the PaDD and signing off on the schedule and plans and firing it off, handing the PaDD back in one smooth motion. "My Minay met someone interesting while on Mol Krun'chi and feels she should tell you about them." With a reassuring nod, Mona gave her bond-mate a gentle squeeze.

Raising an eyebrow, Jaeih smirked slightly and chuckled. “Indeed. How mysterious. I take it your excursion to Mol Krun’chi was…”

But as Jaeih spoke, Mhnei’sahe cut her off mid-sentence as she shook her head and squeezed Mona nervously. “Mol Furvas, Mother. The colony changed its name… twenty-nine years ago. From Mol Furvas.”

Immediately, Jaeih’s face blanched and she stepped back, eyes wide in shock. “Mol F… You went to… oh Elements… I can’t… I thought…”

Raising an eyebrow, Dox was genuinely concerned by the reaction as she stepped over closer with Mona at her side, gesturing to the bland couch behind her. “Sit down, Mother. What’s wrong? What did you think?”

The elder Romulan woman ran a finger over her ear. It was a nervous affectation she had passed to Mnhei’sahe as she sat down, composing herself. As she did, her daughter and daughter-in-law sat, flanking her on either side on the couch. After a second, Jaeih continued, eyes still wide. “I thought they were… I thought they were gone! I tried contacting them, but all the old communication codes were changed after..”

Then, the woman who had raised her daughter under a blanket of secrets and lies realized that yet another one had been revealed. One she had all but forgotten about. As she did, her face went flat and she took a breath. As she did, Mnhei’sahe finished the thought for her. “The codes were changed after you left… with me?”

“Sighing, the older woman nodded. “Yes. You know? If I could say, this bit of information I simply forgot that I kept from you.” There was the hint of a smile on her lips as she knitted her eyebrows nervously. “I.. I am sorry. This I kept from you to protect them. I knew… I knew we couldn’t return once we left, and when the transmissions stopped, I feared the worst. I hope you… Mona… please know I’m telling the truth.”

Mona nodded solemnly. She didn't even have to dilate her eyes to check as it was written all over her and she'd learned how to read her mother-in-law quite well by now. "And I can't blame you. Some things... Time has a way of covering up on its own."

“I understand, Mother.” Dox said, cutting her off again, placing her hand on her mother’s knee, reassuringly as she gestured with her face to the empty room. “I was just in here bemoaning that I can’t tell Asa about the mission over subspace for much the same reasons. I do understand this.”

Listening, Jaeih nodded as Mnhei’sahe spoke. Then, after a moment of silence, her eyes went wide again. “Wait? You know you were there? Tlhei nouhha… How did you know?”

In a rare instance, the master spy was at a loss for words and a dearth of information, looking over to her daughter. As she stared, Mnhei’sahe smiled lightly and replied.

“Nurema…” Mnhei’sahe said with a somber nod. “Nurema ir’Korthe wanted me to tell you that she always loved you.”

“N… Nur…” Jaeih’s eyes filled with tears to a level Mnhei’sahe could scarcely recall before in her mother. “Hru’hfe Nurema? She… she was… you met her?” Her lip quivered with emotions she scarcely knew how to process. Her head darted back and frother from Mnhei’sae to Mona and then back. With one hand, she gripped Mnhei’sahe’s and with the other, she squeezed Mona’s knee.

“Do… do you know about… did she tell you already? She… she raised me, Mona. She was…” Jaeih was in shock, crying openly in a display of raw, unguarded emotions that Mona had never seen before from her mother in law.

The brightly plumed and molting Miradonian was slightly taken aback for just a moment, but quickly overcame it, wrapping her arms around Jaeih and thrumming soothingly, the chicks within her sensing something wrong as well and singing as well. "She was the most important person in your life before my Minay, wasn't she?"

Clutching her daughter-in-law tightly, Jaeih choked back her tears for a moment. She could feel the thrumming and it brought her great comfort even though she had proved incapable of connecting in the same way her daughter was able to. Regardless, it was extremely soothing and helped her calm down. As she did, she pulled back slightly, wiping her face a bit.

“She was, yes. She… when my mother was killed and my father became… distant… she was there for me. She was the house servant, but served as my governess and nurse. She… she essentially raised me for years.” Jaeih said to Mona as she calmed her breathing.

“Pardon me, my dear. I was… unprepared for… Pardon me.” Jaeih said, slightly embarrased that she had let her emotions out so fully and unguarded. But as she spoke, before Mona could reply, Jaeih paused as her mind caught up and she turned with a start towards Mnhei’sahe. “Wait? ‘Was’? What happened?”

Bowing her head slightly, Mnhei’sahe gave Mona the slightest of glances before she replied. “She… recognized my name in the news feeds and asked that I visit her. Curious, I went to see her.”

Trying to quickly push past the part of the story that was a lie, the anxious Rihannsu hoped that her overall nervousness over what was to come would mask it sufficiently from the hyper-observant intel operative. If Jaeih caught the lie, she didn’t let it show as she let her daughter continue. “She had been ill for some time I think. She was weak and tired, but she told me everything she could. She told me what she was to you. She told me that I had been born in that same house and why you took me to leave.”

“We… we talked for a while.” Mnhei’sahe pursed her lips slightly as her own eyes began to tear up slightly. “She was glad to see me. And she wanted to tell me to tell you that she was sorry. She had regretted the harsh words that were exchanged before you left ever since. And she wanted me to tell you that she loved you very much.”

With a hand still over Mona’s back, Jaeih shuddered and clutched her daughter-in-law slightly tighter as she put a hand up over her mouth. “She… she’s gone, isn’t she? She passed away. Tlhei nouhha…”

“I didn’t even know she was still alive… but now I cannot help but feel more alone now.” Jaeih said, sniffling again, before looking over to Mona’s belly.

"You're never alone," Mona replied, hugging Jaeih tighter. "You're a nonala now. A grandmother. You'll never be alone as long as I have any say in it."

"I know, my dear. I know. It's just... knowing the one last link to, perhaps, the only good thing of my childhood is truly gone has... affected me more than I would have expected." Jaeih said, putting her hand to the side of Mona's face.

As she did, a couple of feathers came free where she had brushed them and fell in between the two women. Jaeih's eyes went wide and she pursed her lips in surprise. "Oh dear, I'm sorry. I didn't think I had pulled on those so."

"Oh no, I'm molting," Maica replied, frowning a bit as well at the floating feathers. "It's my body's way of telling me what to make a nest out of for the chicks. Speaking of which... Do we really want them born on the Hera? Or do we want them born under an open sky? I mean... That's another long-standing Miradonian tradition and since we're talking about where you were born and I figured we'd do it here and maybe holographically replace our ceiling with sky..." Now Mona was looking a bit sheepish as very few of her people were even born offworld, let alone not under the Miradon sky.

Looking over at Mnhei'sahe, Jaeih smiled softly. "Nurema told you the lengths to which I went to make sure you were born under a free sky with real air in your lungs. I would wish no different for my grandchildren."

Smiling back, Mnhei'sahe nodded slightly. "We both have leave coming. I'm sure we can make arrangements with the Captain."

The molting Miradonian then pulled both of them into as much of a hug as she could. "Thank you both for understanding. So the question then is... Do we go to Miradon or Mol Krun'chi? They're both close by and once I'm done molting, these chicks are coming out."

Running a hand over one of her hears, an old nervous affectation she still did from time to time, Mnhei'sahe chuckled slightly. "Mol Krun'chi was... beautiful. I wish you could have seen it beyond our link, Mona. But it's still in Rihannsu space, so just getting there would be a bit on the dangerous and moderately illegal side. So, Miradon is probably best "

Then the red-headed pilot smiled a bit broader and she referenced Moan’s foster parents with an additional comment. "Plus, that means Milla and Mardo can be there as well."

"Then I'll start making the arrangements and reserve us a good spot in the Aerie." Mona couldn't help but give her bond-mate a goofy grin as she poured images of the sacred birthing grounds through their bond. "I know you'll love it. It's a bit like a grand coliseum and the chicks that can fly fill the sky at times."

“As clear as the images were for Mona when Dox told her of Mol Krun’chi, the images of the Aerie of Miradon filled the Romulan’s mind’s eye for a moment as Mnhei’sahe shut her eyes and smiled. Sitting between the two, bereft of any ability to join in their telepathic connection, Jaeih enjoyed the moment between the two regardless. Opening her eyes, Mnhei’sahe nodded and smiled, “I can’t wait to see it for real. I know it will be the perfect place. And…”

Turning to her mother, Mnhei’sahe nodded and smiled, “And I know why you had to keep this from me. If I knew, I would have done anything to find it and probably end up getting them discovered or something equally stupid. But… thank you.”

Raising an eyebrow, Jaeih tilted her head slightly as she replied, “For what?”

“For making that choice. For going there when it was time to have me. At least now I know that I come from somewhere. And knowing that now means a lot. She was happy for you and happy to get to see me again before she left. She did love you very much, Mother.” Mnhei’sahe replied, putting a hand over her mother’s hand.

Listening, Jaeih was clearly working to keep the emotion off of her face, but smiled nonetheless as she replied, “We were there for over a year, Mnehi’sahe. Before I left to return to the stars… but she was there for you that whole time, and she loved you too.”

Leaning in, Mnhei’sahe gave her mother another hug that Mona, of course, joined in on. And after a time, when the moment had past, and the elder Intel Agent said her good evenings, Mnhei’sahe and Mona were on the bland, generic couch in the otherwise empty quarters that once belonged to Doctor Asa Dael and were soon to become the rooms for the three chicks on the way. And as they sat there, leaning against each other for a moment, Mnhei’sahe squeezed Mona’s hand as another thought went through her mind.

The last thing that Nurema had said to her resonated in her mind. Because Masato Rei was there in that moment, the memory was closed off from Mona through their bond, but it lingered in Mnhei’sahe’s mind nonetheless. “Mona… there was more. Something there’s no way I could think of the tell her…”

"Something that your dark friend said or that was said while she was there?" It was only a guess, since Mona wasn't getting the usual empathic details, but she hoped it was a good guess. Those memories were really the only ones that either didn't come through their bond, or faded from Mona's mind not long after as if they were from a dream.

There was a strange quirk to Mnhei'sahe's tone. It was an odd mix of somber and hopeful at the same time as she gripped Mona's had a little tighter on the couch. "It was something Nurema said, just before she crossed the river. Before she got on the boat. When she was young again. She smiled and said... she said..."

Knitting her eyebrows, Mnhei'sahe thought hard, trying to remember the exact words. "She said, 'You have more family than you know, little star. More than Jaeih knows. And you will find them.' She didn't say anything more." Then Mnhei'sahe chuckled, "Even Rei joked that that was a little vague."

Mona's brows furrowed as well, wondering about the words and trying to keep them in her head. "Yeah, they are pretty vague... Do you have any idea what they mean?"

"Not really, outside the most obvious implication. And I haven't talked to Rei since then." Mnhei'sahe replied with an awkward expression. "Honestly, what happened has really hit me hard. Not just her passing, but my part in it. Being the witness to someone's passing. Hearing their last words. Being brought there the way I was. I mean... when I held Taxes' reins, nobody could see me. I don't know what that means. I don't know how to feel about that. And I don't know if I'm ready to know what Nurema meant. Not really."

"Well, on this ship, things tend to happen whether we're ready for them or not. Odds are good you'll find out from either Rei during one of your lunch visits or another of our run-ins with overpowered higher order aliens." Mona smiled softly and pulled Mnhei'sahe into a tighter hug, doing her best to comfort and support her bond-mate. "Or maybe this mystery family will come aboard and introduce themselves. That's just as likely."

At that, Mnhei'sahe couldn't help but chuckle. "Indeed. Rei does have a tendency to just... blurt things out as they occur to her. Maybe I'm just scared about who they are. My grandmother may care for me, but the way she went about showing it was... more than a little brutal. Maybe I don't want to know anything more about where I come from. The picture it paints isn't... always a pleasant one."

"Well, this time you found out where you were born and your name grew a little," Mona countered. "And from the sounds of it, the colony was really nice. Perhaps this surprise family will be nice as well."

"Perhaps." Mnhei'sahe said as she leaned in against her wife gently, "Oh, Mona. I wish you could have seen it. Not just through my memories. It was beautiful. They live simply there with very little technology... but it was... it's hard to describe. I apparently was only there for a little over a year. I have no real memories of it, and yet it all felt so familiar anyway. The smells in particular."

"I dearly hope we can eventually go back. That it can be safe one day." Mnhei'sahe said, closing her eyes as the children thrummed to her through Mona.

"Then take me there in our dreams tonight, my Minay," Mona replied, closing her eyes as well and planting a soft kiss on her lover and bond-mate.

The thrumming resonated from within Mona and flowed into Mnhei'sahe. And as it did, it brought with it a wave of calm that allowed the young Romulan woman to calm the anxiety in her while they held each other in the largely empty room. The room that would, in just a few more months, be the home of their children. And in that space where their family would grow, that was once the home of a friend, they sat together. "I will, Jhu Dhael. I will."