Mess Hall Meeting

Posted on Thu Jan 23rd, 2020 @ 11:39pm by Kodria Mizu & Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Lieutenant Commander Sonak & Lieutenant JG V'lera
Edited on on Fri Jan 24th, 2020 @ 12:06am

Mission: Neutral Zone Neutrality
Location: Mess Hall, USS Hera
Timeline: 2397

V'lera had her medical appointment complete and she was cleared for duty and so, started unpacking. Surak, her pet, had started adapting to their quarters and she was happy about that.

She had come into the mess hoping to get a meal and find a quiet place in the observation lounge to look at the stars and have her meal. The ship was impressive and when she'd seen her quarters the other day she'd had to literally stop herself from jumping up and down with glee. They were large, spacious, and she had a water shower. That thought, even now, warmed her. She hated sonic showers as much as transporters. As she waited in line she thought of something Lieutenant Sommers said to her. 'You mean the most interesting people in line'. She had always wondered if that were true and she found it odd that this particular thought would jump into her mind. It felt... like a premonition.

The doors wooshed open and a tall solidly built Vulcan wearing the pips of a lieutenant commander on the black collar of his slightly outdated science blue uniform entered. His steely grey eyes immediately noticed the sharply green-skinned Vulcan-looking woman in a lieutenant junior grade uniform. With barely a pause he went straight to her.

''Excuse me for my intrusion, I will not disturb you but for a brief moment, if I may. I am Lieutenant Commander Sonak, chief science officer of the Hera. You must be Lieutenant junior grade V'Lera. Allow me to welcome you aboard.It is always a moment of note for me when a compatriot comes aboard.''

He lifted his right hand and parted his fingers in the well known salute of Vulcan.

''Peace and long life, Lieutenant junior grade V'Lera.''

V'lera turned at the sound of Sonak's voice. It took a second for her to register that he'd just called her a compatriot. He looked fully Vulcan, he had an air of calm about him. When she'd boarded the Flame there had been many Vulcans but they had avoided her demanding she prove, for lack of a better word, her Vulcan-ness to them before they spoke to her. This was a Vulcan who had not only called her a compatriot but had greeted her properly and first.

She extended her own hand in the proper Vulcan salute, "Live long and prosper Commander Sonak." She tilted her head slightly. "I was going to gather a tray for lunch." She looked around noting how full it was. She didn't like crowds. "Perhaps to take the meal in the observation lounge. Would you...like to join me, Sir?" She hadn't planned on company nor wanted any but it was rare that a Vulcan talk to her first. They tended to see the Orion before the Vulcan. This...was a rare pleasure. A momentary wave of pure delight washed over her at the acceptance but her Vulcan side stomped it down.

''I appreciate and accept your proposal,'' Sonak answered.

He went to the replicator and ordered a Terran vegetable and cheese pot pie along with a tall glass of vegetable juice at room temperature, which would thus be chilled for him. he then waited for V'Lera to complete her own meal order so that they could walk together to the observation area as she had suggested.

V'lera ordered a cheese sandwich with various veggies and a side order of something that on Earth was called Parsley. She had fallen in love with the leafy treat on Earth. She ordered a chocolate cake and some lemon water. Once her tray was complete she walked back to Sonak and they slowly headed out. She was struck by his calm. It seemed to radiate from him in waves. When she stayed at the monastery she'd encountered it. As they entered the turbo lift she addressed him, "You have undergone the Kolinhar?"

''I am a Master of Gol,'' he replied in a monotone. ''But I chose to serve in Starfleet because there is always more to learn.''

He looked at her a moment before asking in turn:

''You are a rather distinctive individual; a living tribute to the ideal of IDIC. Do not answer if the subject makes you uncomfortable emotionally but, what heritage did you choose to embrace? Vulcan? Orion? Both? or neither?''

She thought a moment taken aback by the compliment. "Thank you, sir. I have no issue answering." That was the truth but the topic did make her uncomfortable a little, particularly because she wasn't too fond of her Orion side. I strive to embrace the IDIC principle. It is something that has been a source of strength for me. I choose to embrace the Vulcan...I try to. There are days that the Orion side seems stronger but I have, for the most part, been able to keep hold of it. My upbringing was not ideal," she said honestly. "Although I grew up on Vulcan, was educated there, my year at the monastery helped much with control. I admit I still have much to learn."

''We all do. That is what makes existence worth fulfilling,'' he offered with conviction in his otherwise deep yet flat voice. ''May I suggest you study and meditate upon the life and work of historical figure Ambassador Spock. As the first Vulcan-Human hybrid, he had a full, lively, significant life under a similar challenge that you are facing. It might prove enlightening to you. It certainly was even for me, a full-blooded Vulcan and a Kolinarh master.''

She gave a nod just as they arrived at the observation lounge and seated themselves. She placed a napkin in her lap, as was her habit. "I have read a little of Ambassador Spock's work. I mostly read the works of Surak." Suddenly a thought struck her. A voice from the past floated through her mind, words that dug painfully into her mind. She tried to shake it off yet... "Commander. May I ask a question?"

''Always, Lieutenant, '' he said as he followed her example to set himself for his meal.

An insecurity ran through her. She was wanting to ask yet ... this was the first Vulcan who'd approached her freely and had accepted her as Vulcan, a sister from the planet a compatriot, a logical being. Most of the Vulcans who approached her saw her as Orion, She'd had to prove herself many times over on Vulcan. She thought of the records of the crew that she'd read. The bio on this particular Vulcan, thanks to her excellent memory, told her he was married to the XO. While she liked the woman she could sense how protective she was of the crew. A mother lioness who would need proof, after all the counselors' past, that this woman would be helpful to the crew. This Vulcan before her was not only an island of calm that seemed to have an effect on her own nerves but she wondered if his...abilities were stronger then she knew or was written. Her own abilities in touch telepathy were stronger then they should be. She had an empathic vain in her two that allowed her to pick up and understand moods and energy. That was the Orion's gift, a light buttering that interacted with Vulcan telepathy and empathy and formed a beast that was quite new and, at times, painful.

She resisted the urge to shake her head clear. No, she would not ask. She would ask another question that she was burning to ask. "You have completed the Kolinar it is a purge of emotions. I have had the privilege to know another master and she seemed to live apart from emotional beings... with an exception of course, but you are surrounded by emotion how do you cope?" It was a counseling questions. While she did have some personal attachment to the question she was trying to see comfort in the entity she was when performing her duties.

He looked at her for a moment, unblinking, as if he hadn't quite heard; or rather, as if was listening to something only he could discern. Then he answered with a question of his own.

''Are you aware, Lieutenant, that at this very moment, your entire body is surrounded by light and that this light exerts constantly a measurable pressure on every part of your body? I am not asking if you know ; I am asking, are your aware of it?''

She shifted uncomfortably. "No, sir."

''Yet, it can propel a lightsail vessel at a tenth of the speed of light. When you achieve Kolinarh, you go beyond mere emotion control; you effectively erase emotion from your very being, so as to leave only space for reason alone. Coping with emotion for a Kolinarh then becomes just like you coping with light pressure; it is still there all around you, constantly, you see the light, but you simply can't feel it's pressure.''

"Fascinating," she said. She moved the food around her plate yet a bit more. She pondered his words a little. "Using that same example I would argue that it is not so much as that you cannot feel the pressure but that you numb your body to the feel of the pressure and that you can, in fact, when you choose allow the pressure to be felt. I am... not convinced that you cannot feel anything. Otherwise you would not be able to mourn a lost friend of feel love and passion for your mate or friendship for those you deem friends."

''That would be the standard Vulcan control of one's emotions,'' he corrected her between to bites before resuming. ''Kolinarh is the deliberate utter removal of emotions; just like your body senses are totally incapable of feeling the actual pressure of light, Kolinarh leaves you without emotions altogether. Hence why they do not affect you anymore.''

He paused to let that sink in before continuing.

''You are right in saying that, as a living entity or even merely a sentient one, one can not make oneself totally free of feeling. But you are limiting feeling to but one narrow concept. Mourning, love, friendship, even fascination, interest and drive, are not just emotions. They are states of mind that can also be born purely out of reason and perception. That is how a totally emotionless artificial lifeform like Captain Data can experience friendship and loss as deeply and significantly as you do; just not in the same manner, even if, for all practical intent and purposes, the end result is the same.''

He took a swallow of his vegetable juice.

''I ask forgiveness. it was not my intent to turn this conversation into a lecture.''

"There is nothing to forgive." She looked out at the stars. "Commander with all due respect things such as love, care, compassion, these are not states of mind at least not on their own. Yes, Captain Data can understand friendship and loss and even mimic the reactions that would be considered emotional. But he cannot feel it. Emotions cause releases of certain chemicals in one's brain, neurons firing in a certain way. Only beings like ourselves living entities can truly feel emotion and logic is that which helps us control them, reason is key but to think they can completely be purged... well it is possible but in rare cases with adverse reactions." She studied him. She did shake her head. "My apologies. It appears that I should seek forgiveness here. I just have...an issue with people saying that they have no emotions. I have only truly ever met one person, one Vulcan without them and they are now in Rura Penthe."

''You are proceeding from a false assumption. I am Vulcan and even more a Kolinarh; I have no ego to bruise nor feelings to hurt. Short of an actual mindmeld, clear and honest speaking between us should be the best way to move forward towards knowledge and understanding.''

He took another swallow of his juice before resuming.

''Although your reasoning is sound, facts do not entirely agree with it. When emotions are absent in a being, it can be for three main reasons; they are not part of the individual's make-up, as is the case with an android like Captain Data; they are the result of a voluntary, controlled process as in my case; or they are the result of an accident or defect as in the suggested case of those...Rura Penthe residents you mention as an example. Now consider these facts: an android, built without emotions, declares to have friends like Captain Jean-Luc Picard and mourn the loss of comrades like the late Lieutenant Natasha Yar. A kolinarh master, who deliberately purged himself entirely of emotions since infancy, is pursuing a matrimonial relationship with a Human woman. How and why?''

She thought a moment. "There maybe several reasons. It could be, as I theorize, emotions were not gone just dormant and that you are very much in love with your mate that it overruled the Kolinahr. It could be that you did loose your emotions through the ritual and you wished to reawaken them. Love is the most powerful emotion so it could do that. It also could be that you wish to learn more about emotions and you can do that through experiencing them through marriage to a human woman. All theories and none of them plausible unless examined in a counseling session."

''You make some valid points; and some invalid ones as well,'' he answered in his usual monotone. ''You are right that I endeavor to understand emotion through my bonding with one most remarkable Human woman. But that is just out of curiosity and not the reason for our bonding. You still make the error of seeing Kolinarh as a repression of emotions; that somewhow, as for what is usual for Vulcans, they are still there after the ritual, like embers under coals that could be reignited. That is simply not so.''

He joined his two first fingers of both hands before him.

''Kolinarh is a, long, difficult, thorough ritual that purges the self completely and irrevocably of all emotions. Once the ritual is completed, nothing is left of this part of the psyche. nothing of it can be revived. That is why even Vulcans usually do not go through that ritual; and for the few who do, fewer still achieve it. Living out of pure reason and logic, without any emotion at all ever, is not an easy path... and not a desirable one for everyone. Ambassador Spock himself failed the ritual. Kolinarh was not his true destiny. It would have been a denial of himself, of his Human side.''

He paused again, closed his eyes a moment before continuing in the same bland tone of voice.

''Being totally void of emotions is in fact the source of my intellectual curiosity about them. There is no... trauma event, secret urge or emotional chip that can revive what is simply not there. But through bonding with my Human mate, I can connect to her emotional life through her and experience them through her own memories and feelings, even when I am totally devoid of any by myself.''

He looked at her, his steely grey eyes unblinking.

''As for my love for my mate; it is there, in that your perceive correctly; but not at all as an emotion. It exists as a rationally chosen goal; answering the needs of one specific person for a fulfilled existence, and, by that process, fulfilling one's own. And nothing makes our finite existence as worthwhile as providing fulfillment to others.''

She stayed quiet a moment, " I see."

She took a drink. Suddenly something popped up. She pushed it back, she would ask her personal question later. "Alright. Let us assume you are correct. "Love is there. That is an emotion, you identifying it as such, love that is, gives it life but let's say it's not an emotion. Let us say it is providing fulfillment to others. Why that particular mate? Why her needs for a fulfilled existence? If what you say is true that nothing can make our finite existence worthwhile as providing fulfillment to others then I ask, in addition to why her of course, if you are fulfilling her need to feel wanted, loved, passion from her mate." She sighed. I am sorry that is personal. This is not a counseling session ... and perhaps I am seeing Kolinarh through less than rose coloured glasses."

'' I am not saying love is or is not an emotion, '' Sonak pointed out. ''I am saying that love is not only an emotion. As to why that particular mate...'' he pointed at her plate; ''why that particular food? And regarding the notion of successfully fulfilling her needs, you will have to ask her.''

He looked again straight into her eyes.

''No need to excuse yourself. With a being that can fuse his mind with that of others, it is difficult to find any conversation... personal, as you define it. As for Kolinarh, even the average Vulcan has a hard time understanding it properly. It is something to be lived through to be truly understood. And as I said, it is not for everyone.''

She reached behind her and pulled out a notebook and pen. She checked off something and then rolled the pen in the small notebook and tucked it in her back pocket. She stood up and walked over to the windows looking at the stars.

Sonak allowed her her own space. This conversation might have been interesting, even enlightening to him, but it obviously had a disturbing effect on her. it was not for him to impose himself on her thinking. And he of all people was not qualified to help her deal with her emotional reaction to it. So he stayed sit and continued to eat his meal.

It took a few moments of silence to dispel the thoughts and she returned to her seat. Sonak's control and understanding impressed her, she still had the theory that he had more to him then he let on but she would not voice it again. She broke the silence, "Whatever the Kolinhar removed or not it gave you a calm energy about you that is...quite rare and soothing."

''It is the peace and energy of reason. Kolinarh is not an easy path to choose, even less to follow; but once completed, it leaves reason and perception completely freed of even the remembrance of emotion,'' he explained with matter-of-fact conviction.

"I have much to lean about the Kolinhar. I appreciate you speaking with me about it. I have many questions. I meant no offense or insult. As I said earlier I knew a Master once, a priestess who had your calm and grace to her. I also knew of another person who was said to have completed the Kolinhar and as I said the result was...not as positive as it was for you or T'Mira."

His left eyebrow went up.

''Interesting; in what way may I ask?''

"Well, he wound up in Rura Penthe, sent by myself and the Vulcan Council of Elders. The emotion purge worked too well or perhaps it failed and left behind the not so good emotions." She shrugged. "But, I should not use that to cloud my judgement. As I said yourself and Priestess T'Mira are good examples of the Kolinhar."

''I see. You possibly interacted with a pretender. Kolinarh is an all or nothing process. You either purges yourself of any and all emotions totally and permanently... or you fail. Any remnant of emotion whatsoever means that you have not achieved Kolinarh''.

She studied him. She decided to ask perhaps as a diversion to having him ask more probing questions about the Rura Penthe incident. "You are married to the commander?"

The attempt at diversion did not escape him. Although he was devoid of emotions, or possibly even because of that, he was all the more perceptive of them in others. There were deep sentiments in her regarding this experience. And his reawakening telepathy was sensing how it disturbed her surface thoughts. But it was not his place to probe her or have her rekindle whatever feeling or memory she had about it. So it was without pause that he changed subjects in stride with her.

''Affirmative; Commander Paris and I come from the same pseudo-universe and ended up permanently in yours as that aberration was corrected.''

"How have you been adjusting to this universe?" This, for her at least, was a two-fold questions. She both asked it as a counselor and really wanted to know. There were days when she thought that times were simpler in the past...although if she were in the past she wouldn't be here now.

''For me, it presents no difficulty beyond the challenge of living one's life according to one's gifts under ever-changing circumstances. Having to learn and adapt is a never-ending process that defines life, most of all sentient life. For my wife, her emotions add a significant difficulty parameter to the challenge; but it makes her existence all the more worthwhile. And our relationship provides both of us the anchor we need; emotionally for her, perceptively for me.''

He spoke and ate his pot pie as if he was but discussing the weather or an equation already solved. Which in fact, it was for him.

"It will take time for her to fully adjust. It all depends on how tied she was to your timeline. The key thing is for the two of you to be there for one another. As you said it is difficult. Having you there is important." She thought a moment. "I must issue you an apology."

He was about to take a swallow of his vegetable juice but stopped his gesture midway, right eyebrow rising.

"I am not aware of anything from your part needing an apology."

She shifted slightly in her seat. "It is not outright. More a thought. When I recalled you were married to the commander I...assumed she'd asked you to speak with me. I know of her, what I have observed. She cares very much for her crew. I assumed she had sent you to vet me."

''Even among telepaths, thoughts are not subject to law, except in the worse dictatorships. As for any veting action; I can assure this is not the case. Our meeting is pure happenstance. One I appreciate as quite enriching.''

He finished his plate with one last bit than rose to bring his empty plate to the nearest replicator for recuperation as he spoke.

''One thing you are right about; my wife does care very much about the crew, in her very own Human way. So when she wants to vet someone, she does it herself. if this had been some sort of evaluation, I would have said so from the start. But it is not in my purview to make crew assessments.''

He looked straight at her.

''Nevertheless, I will state that I find your company agreeable.''

She gave a nod. "And I yours." He didn't seem to take offense at her inference and that was good. It was good to be in a room with a Vulcan. She's missed that. She needed logic. It was what grounded her. She followed suit with her tray. "I am grateful to have had the opportunity to meet you, Commander."

Sonak nodded.

''As I have no need of your professional services, this was indeed a most welcome opportunity. But since we serve on the same ship, we will have other occasions like this in the future. I will be looking forward to those.''

He raised his hand and parted his fingers.

''Peace and Long Life, Lieutenant. And welcome aboard.''

She returned the salute. "Live long and prosper, Sir." It had been an interesting lunch. Perhaps she didn't feel so alone. This man seemed to embody what Vulcan should be. As they parted ways she looked at her schedule noting that it was time for her medical.