A Tale Writ Large

Posted on Mon Feb 10th, 2020 @ 7:12pm by Baroness 2nd Class Schwein von Alcott & Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Petty Officer 2nd Class 'Big Ethel' Jablonski
Edited on on Wed Feb 26th, 2020 @ 1:01pm

Mission: Bachelorette Bash
Location: Space Las Vegas, The Attraction; 'The Strip'
Timeline: 2397

"Farming, tubers yannow, cuz the gravity wouldn't let the smaller plants push off the ground. Some fungus and mosses too, and livestock. You?"

"Goat herding when in the village, rowing like everyone else when at sea, then I fought with the axes when we pillaged."

"So how'd you end up in service, hah? I was assigned as a guard, then it was an honor guard, and her Aspect did the rest. Because I believed, doncha know. Well, I guess you really do..."

"When I fought, I praised Odin's name, und he called me to his service when I joined him in Valhalla."

"You get the flying horse and the helmet with the wings and the swell shield and spear and the big dramatic cloak and everything? Because you're, like, shieldmaidens of Odin, right? you appear to the noble warriors upon their death, to carry them to the feasthall of Odin, to be chosen to enter Valhalla?"

The penthouse suite Rita Paris had reserved had been put to good use by the two amorous titans, and while a splintered chair and a lot of overturned furniture told the tale of their wrestling, roughhousing and sexual play in the main room of the suite. Now, relaxing and taking in the floor to ceiling view of the arcology laid out below them, the duo of devoted damsels relaxed in one another's arms, getting to know one another, as only servants empowered by the divine could.

Which was when Baroness Schwein von Alcott, fiance to Thor, God of Thunder decided to make her entrance. First she tried knocking, but unfortunately, the door was less sturdy than she expected and it buckled easily under her first blow. "Ah... yes... Mein apologies about that. I hope I am not intruding," she said as she entered anyway, trying to carefully piece the door somewhat back into shape as she did so.

"There are many shows and dinner is at nine so I..." The one-eyed pirate then saw the state of the rest of the suite and left the remains of the door as they were and just carefully shut it, leaving the hole is it was. "Ahem... I was wondering if you would care to join me for a few more drinks and such?"

The leviathan lovers, neither of whom were particularly shy or self-conscious about their bodies, sex, or nudity, looked at one another, nodded, and rolled apart to begin hunting for their clothes. “Sounds good to me, Baroness. I can always eat… Hildr, you?”

"I could eat an entire feast myself," the large valkyrie replied as she started strapping her clothes back on. "Und I could drink a cask of whatever passes for ale in this realm, as well."

"Risa has a local ale similar to mead that I've been meaning to try," Schwein added, walking over to the balcony and looking out over the strip. "It is made from the local fruits and honeys and preserved in casks of Risian redwood. Sounds interesting, ja?"

“I’m sure willing to give it a try. Commander said I had the night off, and that she was on duty, so I could definitely try some local brewskis,” the muscular maiden explained as she shook out the sundress she’d worn and looked around for her sandals. Clothing location had not been high on her priority list when she and Hildr had come upstairs together, and now she was glad they hadn’t opened any windows. At least she knew her clothes had to be here somewhere. Grabbing her black silk and lace panties from the floor, Jablonski wrinkled her nose and carried them by two fingers to the replicator to get a fresh pair, as this pair was far too sodden to wear now.

“I gotta say, I needed that… I feel so darn relaxed now, yannow?” Ethel Jablonski said over her shoulder, noticing that the Valkyrie and the Pirate were both starting out the window together. Fetching the recycled panties out of the replicator, Big Ethel stepped gingerly into them as her brow furrowed in confusion. “What’s so exciting out there, am I missing something, hey?”

Rather than speaking, Schwein pointed to the spectacle in the streets taking place. The Statue of Liberty was now moving slowly and swinging her torch in the general direction of a large group of people in a double-decker hoverbus. The suite that they were currently in was just at eye level for the large lady.

"Is this normal entertainment for thine realm?" Hildr asked, slightly confused as she finished strapping her dress on.

Flipping through pages on a PaDD, Ethel joined them at the window. "Nooooope, says that's supposed to be a stable attraction. Definitely not ambulatory and... okay, it just stepped on a worker bee. That's definitely not part of the... show..."

The security officer paused as the gigantic green statue turned, and pointed the torch in it's right hand in an unmistakable challenge. Which was reinforced when it roared, a sound like girders groaning, brows coming down together in an expression of rage.

"So, ah... I'm kinda thinkin' we should probably stop that there lawless rampaging automaton, hah?" Jablonski declared. While it might be an insane concept for some, given who the trio of women were, the statement was actually rather practical.

"Ja... I believe it is time for the application of violence..." With a flash of electricity, her slightly used cudgel that she was gifted by Thor flashed into Schwein's hand. "Other than smashing it, does anyone have a..."

Though the one-eyed pirate obviously wanted to ask if anyone had a plan, the now mobile Lady Liberty refused to give her time as she let loose another girder-groaning roar and brought her torch to bear in a mighty swing. Fortunately, Schwein was quick to leap to the defense, bringing her own now enhanced might against that of the oversized copper maiden in a great clash of lightning and flame as she leapt into the path of the massive torch several times her size to deflect it and using the momentum to leap back to the balcony with the other two.

"Ja... Smashing will take some work... Any other ideas?" Schwein asked, a slight grin already forming on her face.

“The bigger they are,” Jablonski grinned as her EVA armor materialized upon her body and the power systems kicked on, even as a glowing blue energy field in the shape of a riot shield sprang into being on her left forearm. In her right hand, a rather large and improbable-looking hammer appeared, which looked more like a tool to be found in Engineering than a weapon.

"The harder they FALL, warriors!" Hildr said with wide, almost wild eyes for a moment as she rolled her massive shoulders back and flicked her wrists. And from the gilded bracers she wore, came a shimmering of golden light that spread out in a flash over her. As the light faded, her coiled arms were now bound in gilded metal bands crisscrossing up to the rippling shoulders. Decked out now in blue leather exquisite masterwork Valkyrie armor, a round spiked wooden shield bound in iron bands and rivets on her left arm, and a long, fur-lined black bear cloak, HIldr brandished a long spear in her right hand that she raised to the mammoth statue across the way from their balcony. 

Looking over to Ethel, Hildr's eyes flashed and a grin spread across her face. "I have grappled with thou in the bedchamber, but now we will grapple for real against a worthy threat. Truly this is to be a most glorious night! This great beast seems fixed 'pon us, mayhaps it would be best to give it our attention and lead it away from the mortals in its path. What say you all?"

"Ground level action is only gonna do so much, doncha know- that wide a base, you just know she's gonna be a pain to topple. I think we need altitude to make a proper strike to knock her down," Jablonski declared as she turned in place, the scanners of her EVA armor working, mapping out the local terrain of the Strip and displaying the information inside the HUD of her helmet.

"Okay, I think I got it. There's a tower over there, the... Eiffel tower? It's a vantage with the trajectory we need, and we can knock her over into the pyramid there- scanners say it should hold up under the impact, and it's us setting her down where she won't hurt anyone. Problem is, the Strip is kinda big, so we need to get her the 1.4 kliks down there, hopefully without her stepping on traffic, and we gotta convince her to follow us." The professional Starfleet security officer pushed her scanner displays to the side, and regarded the demigoddess and the Valkyrie of myth and legend. "What? Hera didn't choose me to be her general JUST because I work out..."

With another flash of lightning, Schwein was now in her own gold and blue Artan pirate armor, the large fish tank helmet coming up and sealing with a ch-thunk so that only the gold stenciled skull was visible. "Well then, I will make sure I have her attention, ja? You two work on the actual fall."

With that Schwein leapt off of the balcony right at the face of the giant moving statue, causing a shower of blinding blue sparks and bouncing off. As the pirate baroness hovered a bit away thanks to the new mods in her armor, it seemed she had at least pissed off the giant green woman who started trying to swat at her.

"So now we rappel down the side of the building, hit street level and run?" Jablonski asked, reeeeeally hoping this was going to be a magical flying horsie moment.

"Rappel?" Hildr said with a grin. "We've no time for such nonsense? There is a giant to fell, and seeing your tactical mind at work has re-stoked the fires of my netherregions, woman! So let us make short work of this challenge, to resume our time together."

Lifting her spear, the gilded gladiator let out a whistle and shouted, "To me, RAINBOW DASH!" and after a few seconds, there was a Tumblr and a burst of rainbow light that illuminated the strip. And from the center of the light came an almost glowing white-winged steed, beating its wings heroically and appearing to be the culmination of fantasy come to life.

Which caused the normally serious-minded security officer Ethel Jablonski to squeal like a little girl, her eyes wide with wonder and delight, at a sight that usually only existed in holovids and storybooks.

The jade metal giant looked up at the sight and let out a roar that shuddered the windows of the nearby buildings. From the street below, groups of tourists looked up, pointing and cheering, clearly not realizing that what they were seeing was a real threat, and not part of an epic show being put on by their hosts, the Risan tourism board. "Wow! I TOLD you this was better than just going to Branson again this year!"

"Rainbow Dash shall not slow much, brave Ethel. Make ready to mount as she passes!" Hildr directed, crouching to leap as the winged horse swooped towards them.

“I have waited my entire life for this moment,” the golden-armored security officer whispered, as she waited for the Valkyrie to leap, and half a second later, the bulky armored honor guard captain leapt for the flying horse. But while she was strong and capable, the leaping mount atop a flying horse was not something with which she was proficient, and she fell short. As she realized her leap had been insufficient, her eyes widened as she realized she was going to fall 36 stories to the street below.

But as she began to fall, the majestic winged creature spiraled down and Hildr lanced out with her spear arm and scooped it around Ethel, pulling her close. "You'll not escape my passions so easily, great Ethel! Now, let us enact your plan."

Placing the massively muscled maiden on the back of the horse as easily as Ethel would pick up tiny Fiona O'Dell, Hildr directed Rainbow Dash into a dive in front of the statue's feet.

"You are so getting laid tonight," the massively muscled maiden of Hera's honor guard whispered as she clung to the even larger Valkyrie. "Okay, so if we can make a charge up the Strip to scatter traffic right in front of her to start, I'll coordinate with local law enforcement. Okie doke?"

"Aye! Thy will be done!" Hildr said as she patted the thick muscled kneck of her horse and thrust her spear towards the busy strip. "HYAAAA!!! HYAAAA, RAINBOW DASH!!! Let us part this sea of peasantry!!"

Vaulting off the back of the flying horse when she spotted a law enforcement vehicle, Jablonski's glowing blue energy riot shield became a meter round curved shield, and she tucked in behind it as she rolled, bleeding off her momentum until, one leg outstretched, she came to a stop in front of the vehicle. Weapon nowhere to be seen, the EVA clad avenger offered a salute, and a small projected hologram that bore the Starfleet insignia, her photo and the easily read words 'Starfleet Security'.

"Hello there, officers, hello! I'm Petty Officer Jablonski of Starfleet Security, and we've kinda got a giant monster problem goin on here, doncha know," she chucked a thumb over her shoulder at the rampaging statue currently trying to decide which to swat, the pest in her face or the pest at ground level. "So if you fellas could coordinate clearing traffic so's we can get her up the street, we think we can stop Miss Liberty here. My partner's already running interference on the flying horse over there, and the Baroness is keeping her occupied. So if you could get on the comms and clear the street it'd prolly save lotsa lives and such, alrighty?"

Without waiting for a response, Jablonski turned back to the tourists, most of whom seemed to be enjoying the show. When she spoke, her voice was amplified by the speakers in her suit, and carried better than a bullhorn. "For your own safety, please stay on the sidewalks and clear the streets, folks. We know you don't want to miss a thing, but we don't want you to accidentally become part of the show. Clear the streets, please, and thank you!"

The security personnel stared dumbfounded for a second before they got on the comms, relaying what the Starfleet security officer had told them, as they began directing efforts to accommodate the trio of superhumans who were working on their somewhat unexpected grandiose spectacle of a problem which was marching down the strip in slow, heavy strides.

In spite of a few grumbles, the ogling tourists slowly began to scooch back out of the way of the enormous green, metal woman on Ethel's command as Hildr raced ahead on Rainbow Dash bobbing and weaving in a game of very one-sided chicken with the oncoming hovercars and busses that all cleared a path as she shouted. "MOVE! OR BE MOVED, DOUGHY MORTALS!! I HAVE SPOKEN!!!!"

Meanwhile, the Baroness was enjoying the mobility added to her Artan armor with her jump thrusters. weaving around the massive lady Liberty like a mad hornet, stinging her with lightning and cudgel strikes and trying to lure her up the street to where they wanted her. "This will be a deed worthy of song, ja?" she called out right before narrowly being missed by the torch of the giant maiden. Schwein just called down another small bout of lightning once more unto the crown of the animated statue for its trouble, eliciting yet another roar of twisting girders.

As the statue turned to swat at the Baroness, a type 3 phaser rifle appeared in the hands of the Starfleet security officer, and she pulsed a series of shots up the leg of the statue, hoping to gain its attention and keep it focused on moving forward, down the clearing street. The great green statue of old Earth legend was getting where they wanted her to go, she just wasn't getting there very quickly, and she was prone to try to turn to swat the Baroness as she flitted about on her thrusters.

Realizing that she had no comms with the winged steed mounted Valkyrie, Jablonski instead tuned in the Baroness' comms. "It looks like she really is pretty mad at you in particular, Baroness, doncha think? Can honk her off good and royally so she'll get her big green butt moving into position?"

"Ja, is not a problem," came the reply over the comms right before a static burst and a bright blue ball of lightning right to the face of the mobile landmark. "I think I have her full attention." With that, the flying gold and blue pirate hovered just out of reach to draw the walking statue towards where they wanted her.

Swooping back around on Rainbow Dash, Hildr ran the tip of her spear along the pavement causing it to spark and flame, attracting even more attention from the lumbering statue. "HO, you great green WHORE! Come face your BETTERS!!! My love, our path is right and truly cleared."

Looking up, the mighty Valkryie raised a brow as she watched the statue lunge at the hovering Schwein. "Behold, the behemoth hardly notices our efforts, brave Ethel. 'Tis focused squarely on the mighty Schwein... perhaps too focused. I smell magicks at work here. Magicks and trickery."

"Uh, durr?" the Starfleet security officer replied, taking the shieldmaiden of Odin's have to swing onto the back of the flying steed with little gracve nor aplomb. As a farm girl Jablonski knew animals just fine, but riding them in powered armor was a skill a bit beyond her upbringing. "Let's get into position up on the tower now that the street's cleared and Schwein is moving her along, and let's get Loki the show he's after."

Catching the expression over the shoulder of the massive shieldmaiden as she spurred her steed skyward, Jablonski rolled her eyes. "Come on, I serve a Goddess, so not hard to believe the unbelievable. I'm a security officer, so it's always motive and procedure, yannow? Plus the Commander gave us a full briefing just in case something like this was gonna happen... and here we are, with something crazy that shouldn't ought to be possible happening. How are you surprised I'm not surprised, Hildr?"

As the massive, winged horse circled to the top of the tower, touching down gently on their target, Hildr scoffed slightly. "You and your Commander are, then, a bit wiser than many in fabled Asgard, who give that damned trickster far too much latitude. I would not speak ill of the Lady Schwein's love, but his blindspot for Loki is as legendary as his great power. I am... not used to others being prepared for Loki's nonsense. It is as refreshing to me as every aspect of you I have discovered this eve."

As Hildr turned, she shot Ethel a surprisingly soft smile. "You have me smitten. But that is an affair for later, as we have our task to complete."

"Aw, take it easy now, wildcat. We've got plenty of time to get frisky and get to know each other, let's not start plannin' the wedding just yet, all righty?

As she said the words Jablonski dismounted, entirely ungracefully, and clattered to the tower on her back, where she lay for a second, looking up at the oddity of the flying horse and the actual factual Valkyrie with whom she was now engaged in an incident report to be written later. Lightning strobed, a precursor to a much larger strike, a telltale sign of any of the Baroness' electrical attacks carried like a signature. Even the smallest manifestation started with a tiny spark, a flicker before the storm. It lit up the handsome woman's smitten face, upside down to Jablonski's perspective. But is formed an indelible image in her mind she would remember until her dying day.

For a brief second as she coughed there on the ground, Ethel Jablonski marveled over where she was, what she was doing and what her life in Starfleet had brought her. Then a distant shudder from the footsteps of a leviathan roused her, and she collected her mass beneath her to launch herself back to her feet. Scanning the area, the security officer took in the readouts as she called the Luxor security, the pyramid that would likely need evacuation. If such a thing were possible on peaceful Risa, where most visitors were too relaxed to take threats seriously.

"For now, let's take inventory. I've got..." Jablonski paused while she checked her suit's readouts, asking it the capacity for two of the TRC-116 C2's she carried in inventory. "Yeppers, forty-six rounds of concussion grenades I can spit out on full auto about three per second. But with that much weight I don't think the math's gonna hold up, just not enough force for that much mass. I could try a spray of dum dums, wouldn't penetrate but the velocity'd still apply. I might be able to steer it a little?" While she was a Starfleet trained security officer who served on a very unusual starship, this was a bit beyond what she and her armaments were prepared for... although she was taking notes. "So what've you got for stopping power on this scale, Miss Fancy Horse?"

Looking at her massive spear, at Schwein throwing lightning at the massive, copper creature and then back at Ethel as her face twisted into a sly grin. Tapping the side of her gold winged headpiece, the modern Valkyrie opened a comm channel among the three of them. "I have a plan, ladies. My spear, indestructible and cast from the fires of Nidavellir, can channel and focus the power of your mighty Lightning, Mistress Schwein. That, coupled with Ethel's arsenal of explosives may be enough to topple this beast."

Looking at Rainbow Dash and the shield on her arm, Hildr continued her plan. "Just get that thing swinging wild to disrupt its balance and I shall plant my spear betwixt its eyes in that crown 'pon it''s brow. Then I shall position myself and Rainbow Dash behind it to give us the proper leverage needed to bring her low." Then she looked over at Ethel, who had already proven her strategic mind. "What say you?"

"Best plan I've heard all night, I'll say! Risan security has reinforced forcefields covering the pyramid, so we are a go for landing zone, and doncha know the Risans plan to get a frictionless forcefield underneath it in the parking lot until they can figure out how to deactivate it," Petty Officer Jablonski reported, scanning the scene and plotting hypotheticals before shoving them all to the side and paying attention to the moment. "After your first strafing run, pick me up. I've got an idea you're gonna like! Schwein, you down with this whackadoodle plan?"

"Ja, I like the plan, but we have to hurry. My jets are running low on fuel." As if on cue, one of Schwein's suit's thrusters sputtered just slightly, causing her to veer dangerously close to the green lady's head. Still, she avoided it and kept up the assault of lightning and smashes from her cudgel.

“Okie doke, let’s work fast then. Hildr, deploy and see if you can help lure Libby there into position!” It was nothing that Jablonski would not ask of one of her Security comrades, so of course she had no problem relaying the order to the Valkyrie. After all, they were all working toward a common goal at the moment, as comrades in arms. And if the Baroness’ jetpack was failing, they would be down one flyer soon enough. “Schwein, fall back to my position and let’s get ready to make Hildr’s plan happen, doncha know!”

"Aye! Thy will be done!" Hildr shouted as she threw herself upon her winged steed and with a kick and a loud, "HYAAA, RAINBOW DASH! AWAY!" She and her mighty mount lifted off the platform with a rush of force as she flew towards the face of the statue, buzzing it to get its attention.

Without further hesitation, Schwein ceased her attacks and landed herself right next to Ethel with a solid thump, one of her thrusters cutting out just as she did so. "I will have to request slightly larger fuel reserves when next I speak with the Asgardian artificers." Rather than keep up her attacks with her cudgel, she clipped it to her belt and checked over the status of her fuel and suit on her HUD. "I do have enough for another minute with low pressure."

“That should work just fine if Hildr can keep her attention over there… and yup, she does not like the flying horsie at all,” Jablonski observed as Hildr and Rainbow Dash wove in and about the angry snarling metallic leviathan. “Okay Schwein, once Hildr’s got her in position, we need you to jam a lightning bolt into her forehead big enough to stun her, doncha know. Then you launch and hit her, I’ll try to give her a nudge, then Hildr and I will make a few strikes to get her off her feet, and hopefully when the dust settles she’ll be unable to regain her feet, and she’ll stop trying to step on people. You with us, ya?”

Seeing that the other two were in position, Hildr spun back around for her final pass at the jade giantess as she tapped her comm and readied her spear. "I shall deliver the blow with my spear and position myself and Rainbow Dash behind the knees of this foul beast. Once I am in position, it falls to thee!"

"HYAAA!!! HYAAA!" Hildr kicked the sides of her mount firmly and reared back as the winged steed raced forward with near-impossible speed and certainty towards the roaring head of the living statue. As they got closer, the mighty Valkrye leaned to the side of her flying horse, and with a spin in mid-air, rammed the tip of her pear in the dead center of the crown with a shout. As she did, Rainbow Dash twisted upside down and began racing across the statues back. 

With the spear lodged tight in its head, the statue let out a sickening roar, the sound of twisted metal screaming in protest that caused the observers on the street to clutch their ears in pain. From behind the knees of the great behemoth, Hildr raised her mighty shield as she and her mount rushed in at ramming speed. On the comm, she shouted, "BRING THE THUNDER, LADIES!!!!"

Taking her cue, the mighty Baroness raised her cudgel to the sky once more and channeled as much raw lightning she could muster from the heavens above, through it, straight into the spear in the great landmark's forehead, which then acted as a lightning rod. "BY THE POWER OF THOR ALMIGHTY I COMMAND YOU TO REST!!!" The sheer volume of electrical fury that raged about the blue and gold armored pirate was so great, it made the hair of bystanders on the street nearby stand on end.

At the same instance, Ethel unloaded the explosive payloads of her armaments into their target as planned, while Hildr and her winged mount rammed he green giant in the back of the legs as hard as they could. The living statue let out a roar of agony that sounded like the hull of a starship being twisted into a knot, as rivets within the great metallic green golem popped and exploded from the torque being exerted upon them. Aas the roar fell silent and its eyes seemed to glaze back, it toppled backwards as planned, crashing into the force-field shielded black glass pyramid with a wrenching thud that shook the entire strip.

The air smelled of ozone and a plume of smoke was kicked up from the massive explosions of concussion grenades, but after a moment, Rainbow Dash and Hildr dragged themselves out from beneath the legs of the fallen statue. Scuffed and disheveled, but with a shake, appearing none the worse for wear as the statue, at last, seemed still.

Flopping back on her derriere, Schwein popped the helmet of her armor open and belted out a great laugh. "So do the rules of what happens in Vegas apply or may we sing of this feat in the festhalls?"

“Ohhhh, I think beating up the Statue of Liberty on the Space Vegas Strip is a tale for the history books, Miss Schwein,” Jablonski chuckled, offering the pretty pirate a hand up. As she did so, in the background the farm girl from the high-G world heard a somehow familiar roar, and she scanned the horizon, looking for another threat.

“Nope- just the Monsters of Tokyo arcology one over. That’s actually part of the show, so I think we might just have this battle won,” the muscular maiden mused. “Say Hildr,are you and your horsie okay? Are we triumphant?”

Mounting Rainbow Dash, who fluttered his wings and carried them back up to the top of the tower in a trail of smoke and debris, the gilded Valkryie tapped her comm with a broad smile. "The beast is smote, my steed and I are unharmed, and my appetite is renewed..."

Landing on the platform, Hildr reached down and stroked Ethel's chin with a spark of passion in her eyes, "...in more ways than one. Is there not to be a feast this eve? To refuel us for our next... battle?"

"Ja, I am told Rita has arranged a mighty feast fit for Odin," Schwein confirmed, a chuckle building as she got back to her feet and slapped both of them on the shoulders knowingly. "We will eat, drink, and once those needs are slaked we will be merry long into this night!"

“I sure as heck didn’t expect all this,” Jablonski gestured, encompassing the scope of the chaos they had just quelled. “But I gotta admit, the Commander sure does know how to throw a party…”