Divinational Drunks

Posted on Mon Feb 17th, 2020 @ 2:29pm by Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Lieutenant Commander Thex sh'Zoarhi & Lieutenant JG Tovanna Mah & Ensign Briaar Gavarus & Ensign Fiona O'Dell
Edited on on Wed Feb 26th, 2020 @ 1:02pm

Mission: Bachelorette Bash
Location: Risa, Space Las Vegas: the Attraction, Caesar's Palace
Timeline: 2397

There had been a LOT of booze, beer, mead, liquor, and shots.

Flaming shots, Shots that evaporated into gas in your mouth. Shots that glowed neon, and glowed not only as they slid down your throat, but as it was discovered by O'Dell, were still glowing when pissed out. 'Like a rave in yuir bladder!' it was remarked.

Dr. Mah came by to administer a detox to O'Dell after she passed out. Twice. She threatened that if there was a third time, intubation and a stomach pumping would be in order, so O'Dell stuck to bitters for the rest of the night.

Which was when Loki cornered them at the bar, all smiles and sashay.

"You two are delightful little agents of chaos, I must say," the god turned goddess of mischief grinned, transforming the emerald and golden chainmail into a slinky and seductive dress in the same colors, emerald lined with a gold interior, scandalously high cut on the thighs and low cut to the navel, displaying perfect breasts as if by design. "Thank you two, for keeping this from being too prim and proper, and bringing chaos to the order. I promised not to use my magic to interfere with this evening, while the trials came and went, and were all endured."

"Oh, F*** y'ur woo woo magic." Gavarus slurred over her umpteenth beer bottle, having made no attempts at sobering up. "What're you so… why'r you grinning like an idiot at ever'ting, anyway?"

"You two were my addition, and you served your purpose. But I was hoping you'd uncover something more, and there's a hint of exotic energy about you..." Leaning in, Loki sniffed about them, like a wolf scenting prey, moving here and there about their persons until she came to Gavarus' right hand. The trickster god's eyes snapped open, and she inhaled deeply. "Mmmm, time particles, yessssss? Ahhhh, give me fools and drunkards every time."

"Wahhhhl, ye hit the jackpot this time, a'cuz we're both!" O'Dell declared. "Fook kin ye smell shite like that? She canna smell it, and lookit the snout on 'er!"

"Yeah, and I c'n smell Minnie's diaper three decks away. N' you c'n smell… what… time thingies? Can you tell if I washed my hands last time I went to the shorter, Tits McGee?" Gavarus chuckled, laughing at herself and nudging Fiona. "I called her Tits McGee, Fee! Heh heh!"

"Well, yuir not far off wi'that. She looks ready to feed a village for sure, aye?" O'Dell burped and swayed a bit on her barstool, eyes half-lidded. She had tied a legendary drunk on, which was relative for her size. But now she was trying to keep up. "So what aboot the spilled beer an' poor wiping didye sniff up on my girrrrrl's hand that has ye all hot an' lathered, Mister Sister?"

"Whatever your people call them, because mortals have an endless array of silly names for things with perfectly good names to start with, they are the remaining evidence of powerful prognostication. You see, I knew if I brought you two along, you'd sniff it out for me like a truffle. So... where were they? A Klingon, yes? Tell me where you saw the future..." At this, Loki was leaning in eagerly, eyes wide and sparkling, which only made the spectacular cleavage display that much more arresting to the eye- at least for Briaar Gavarus.

"A future, Boobarella," Gavarus said, over a burp as she took another swig. "We went to th' 'cademy. Timelines and quantum uncertainty and shit, we saw A future. N' th' creepy ol' Klingon lady was across the street at that hotel with the sweet roller coaster on..."

"Oooh, that was fun. Especially when we got done and found where my throw up hit the hovercab after I hurled on that thing. HA!" Gavarus laughed, ignoring Loki and going back to talking to her pint-sized partner. "A frickin' block away! I got RANGE!"

"I canna believe ye took advantage of our velocity like that ta really drop a right proper street pizza 'puke like that. Twas magical. I took holos," O'Dell clinked her beer glass to that of her puke proficient porkchop, as Loki rolled her eyes, and her outfit shimmered back to the emerald scale mail, the golden horned helm reappearing on her head.

"You've served me well, through design, fate or mad chaos is beyond my understanding. But as I'm not a petty god, I will grant you a boon for your efforts on my behalf- you may each have the gift of one undetectable lie, that would convince the lowliest dullard to the cleverest of gods. You may use it once, whenever you wish, and none will be the wiser. Use it well-" Loki was still going on when O'Dell was struck by inspiration and spoke up.

"That hat doesnae look foolish on ye at all," O'Dell intoned with a nod, seemingly the soul of sincerity.

"Oh, my helmet? Quite dignified indeed, and elegant, wouldn't you say?" Loki readily agreed- the lie being, as advertised, convincing even to the cleverest of gods.

Choking on the beer in her mouth, Gavarus spit out a mouthful as she laughed. "HAA! Oh, f***. Burn!"

"So, glad we frickin' entertained your weird-ass, Horny. So, whadda you care about us seeing shit about our future? Because you're laying this shit on frickin' thick?"

"Your futures I have only the mildest of passing interests, swine of Tellar," Loki fairly sneered. "But mine own future is of considerable interest to me, particularly if I do not have to consult the Norns, nor any of the divinations of my people. The god of mischief is always seeking an edge, and in this you have provided me, so I thank you. Ah, there's that delightful little Andorian girl who loves to dance like the Kolari." turning toward where Thex was passing, Loki paused.

"By the way? Forget..." Loki opened the palm of her hand and blew across her palm, causing a light pink cloud to roll off her fingers and settle about Gavarus and O'Dell, as Loki sashayed away. "Ahhh, Miss sh'Zoarhi. I trust the eve treats you well...?"

Sneezing and blinking rapidly, O'Dell looked around in a confused fog. "...the fook were we doin, Briaar?"

"I... I have no frickin' idea. I hope I didn't throw up on anyone?" Gavarus said, looking down at her drink with a raised eyebrow. "Damn, this is clearly some good shit."

"Another round'a the last, bartender... what, are ye deef as well as slow...?"