Checking on the Doc

Posted on Fri Mar 27th, 2020 @ 9:28am by Death & Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Lieutenant JG Tovanna Mah
Edited on on Mon Mar 30th, 2020 @ 12:04pm

Mission: Born and Reborn
Location: Dr. Mah's Quarters
Timeline: 2397

Walking out of her office in the Flight Control Office on Deck 4, Lieutenant Commander Mnhei’sahe Dox adjusted her crimson tunic and ran her slightly over-long auburn curls over her very Romulan ears as she walked down the corridor towards the turbolift. I really need to make time for a haircut, she thought to herself as she walked.

She had been recently visited by her most unique friend, who is also known as the embodiment of Death. Usually, their visits happened in Rei’s VIP quarters on Deck 8, but in this case, the spectral woman in black came to Mnhei’sahe with a different concern. After a brief visit with Masato Rei, the Romulan flight chief understood what was going on.

Earlier, Rei had an unexpected visit from the Hera’s new Chief Medical Officer Tovanna Mah. Doctor Mah had met Rei during Baroness Von Alcott’s Bachelorette party on Risa and the two did NOT hit it off. So, according to Rei, Tova wanted to clear the air between the two and all seemed well as the ship’s physician headed off with a set of ancient books that held the lost history of her fellow El-Aurian people. But afterward, Rei was worried that she might have revealed too much too soon and thought it might be best to ask Dox to see if she could check on the Doctor and see if she was okay.

It was a responsibility she had taken upon herself, as one of the few that could actually percieve Masato Rei. And as the enigmatic woma's friend, it was a task she truly didn't mind in spite of all that was on her head with the impending birth of her children that she was also busy preparing for.

In the turbolift, Dox pulled out the PaDD she kept in her back pocket and spoke to the computer. “Deck Eight, please.”

As the doors closed and the lift began to descend, the young officer was checking out the flight crew rotation and making a few adjustments during the short trip, so the department would not be understaffed during her upcoming leave to the planet Miradon where she and her wife Mona would be going to have the children. After a few seconds, the lift doors opened and Dox made her way to her destination, doing her best to stall as much as possible as she was nervous about the scenario and wasn’t the best when it came to dealing with other people. But she also knew better than anyone else alive the weight of responsibility that came with being friends with a cosmic force of the universe. It wasn’t something that many could deal with well and so she felt it was smart of Rei to ask her to help.

At the door to Dr. Mah’s quarters, which the computer confirmed was where she was, Dox pressed the chime on the control pad outside. “Doctor Mah, it’s Lieutenant Commander Dox. Are you available?”

The door slid open to the reveal the doctor barefoot and in a long dress, obviously off duty. "Please come in, how can I help you?" She looked as if a cloud was heavily hanging over her, but was keeping her composure. Her room was still plain looking with little to show much about her personal life other than a sculpture of a lollipop and a few pictures that included Tova and one of a small infant.

As the red-headed Romulan stepped in to the sparsely decorated quarters, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of what humans called deja vu. The lask of any significant personal touches save the few things on display, which included a picture, was almost exactly what her own quarters had looked like during her first few months on the Hera. Back before she had even tried to feel at home on the massive starship. But it was when she had looked at Tovanna Mah that she had truly seen something even more familiar.

That look of mingled confusion and anxiety that she had after her first meeting with Masato Rei, before she had even learned that name. That face of a woman who had just had her view of reality turned upside down and was struggling to process it. And since Mnhei'sahe herself had been a part of the command decision to forgo having counselors on board the Hera, which had become a recurring problem on the ship, it was her duty to help, if she could. 

"Well, Doctor. I'm more concerned with what I can do to help you. Rei asked me to look in on you."

The Romulan flight chief walked a bit around where Tova stood, relaxing her professional posture just a little. "Considering that I've been almost exactly where you are right now, I figured you might need someone to talk to that understands at least a little of what's going on in your head."

Tova smiled softly, "She is sweet like that. Please have a seat is there anything I can get you? Tea? Water?" She looked at Dox, "You are both correct, the ramifications of Rei's revelations have given me a great deal to face...." she sat down and picked up a cup of tea she was working on, "ethically, morally, esoterically, thanotologically...from various levels as a doctor, a person, it's a great deal to process." She laced her fingers together looking like she was trying hold herself together.

It was clear to Mnhei'sahe that the Doctor was troubled. Even though Rei said Tova looked in good spirits when she left Rei's quarters, the dark woman sensed that something was slightly off. Everything about her body language and the tremble in her voice confirmed that and spoke volumes, so the far younger Romulan woman sat down next to the far older El-Aurian woman and spoke as softly as her naturally raspy voice allowed. "No thank you, Doctor. I'm fine. But you're not."

"You seem to at least be better with her as an individual. She didn't share any specifics about your conversation, of course, but she did say that you and she resolved some of the issues you had with her back on Risa." Mnhei'sahe said, leaning in slightly so that she could clearly see Tova's face. Trying to be comforting wasn't exactly a standard Romulan trait, but she was doing her best. "So... can you tell me what's going on in your head? It... looks like a lot. We can start with 'ethically' and work our way through the rest at your pace. However you need to, I'll listen."

Tova looked at Dox not sure how to begin or where to end when she did so she laughed nervously instead. "I'm a doctor, I'm now aware of the actual presence of Death herself. What do I say when I am asked what does Death look like? How do I even approach the issue of those I know it would be a mercy to just let die?" She shook her head and started pacing, "It's different for an officer in the field who sees someone in their line of command fall but has no capacity to save them, I am the person they come to save others. I can now sense Rei, that's part of the issue with being El-Aurian and a sensitive one at that, I will know if she is near and that no matter what I do it is fruitless. I always felt it was time when a patient was going to pass but now I understand why or who. How can I look a patient in the eye and tell them it will be okay? Before it was a guess, now however...what do I do hand them a lollipop and tell them hold on there is a really nice lady coming for them? Is it ethically sound to know when someone is dying? What does this mean for the thanatological implications of one's greater understanding of death? It's not like I can speak to anyone about it not even the most esoterically inclined save yourself and a few others. It's not as if I would stand in her way but it could make our conversations a bit awkward. I mean really, what do I we talk about if we have a day when I lose a patient, 'yeah I lost Joe Blow but I'm glad you could pick him up quickly here, have an apple for Taxes'? What if it was a child or an infant? Will I resent her doing her job? I don't know... I would never want to... could we go to dinner after?" She looked at Dox coming unraveled a bit with her flurry of conflicting emotions, "And how the hell did she get a horse on a starship?!" It was obvious the doctor's mind was going in circles with all the implications of her her new knowledge, how it would impact her job and possibly her patients. She went to the replicator, "Vanilla vodka on the rocks," she downed it and kept pacing, looking like her mind was going warp speed.

There was a light, knowing smile on Mnhei'sahe's face. "Nothing about this is easy, Tova. It isn't, and I know far more than most."

Scooching a little closer, the young Romulan put her hand on the doctors and took a breath. "I first met her after one of my first missions on the ship. The Baroness... who we had the Bachelorette part for... she threw herself on a sword to save us all from a cosmic threat. And she was supposed to die. She didn't, because Rei wouldn't take her. On another mission, we had a cosmic entity... the shard of the titan Gaia trapped in the ship's computer. The only way to free her was to allow her to bond with a living being and then go for a spacewalk without a suit. And for some very complicated reasons, Gaia was only talking to me directly. So I did what I had to do. And out there, as the shard of a goddess left me and I was dying, I saw her. She stood by and waited as I was beamed back in. And she stood over me while Doctor Dael kept me alive... refusing to do her job. So, on the one hand, she has helped us. More than those times, she has done whatever she could to not take people."

Looking back into the doctor's eyes, Mnhei'sahe's got more serious, as she spoke with a sense of certainty that had more weight than her thirty-two years should carry. "And on the other hand, when my father was taken from me, she let me see as she took his spirit to Vorta Vor. In that moment, he was a whole and young man again, as I had never gotten to see him in life. As was the godmother, who I sat with on her deathbed. Who I comforted and told to have no fear. Because as insane as it sounds, I have seen the other side now, and I know that the woman that will come to take them will do so with boundless compassion and comfort."

"There are days that I wish I never asked to know her. Days I wish that I didn't know what I do. And there are other days where I understand that even Death herself values life and fights for it. So, how can I do any less?" Letting go of Tova's hand, Dox got up and got herself a coffee from the replicator and a cup of the same for Tova and set it down in front of her. "As for how you go and talk to her afterwards, just remember that once upon a time, she was a mortal woman and she still has all of those feelings in her, and sometimes she despairs too. She needs those dinners where we just talk about my day and ship's gossip and random nonsense as much as I often do. And I bet she appreciates the lollipops. Knowing her, I'd guess ginger flavored."

Then, Dox let out a chuckle and shook her head, "As for Taxes, he goes wherever he wants. I've woken up to him breathing on me while I was in bed a FEW times now when he needed me for something. Starship bulkheads... don't really exist for him. He's not a boundries horse. heh."

"Seriously?! I find an equine visitor above my bed late at night I am cutting off his lollipop and fruit supply. As for Rei, it's ginger wasabi lollipops if I remember correctly," Tova said offhandedly. "So how did you do it? Come to terms with all of this? Part of me thought I would be furious with her after the assimilation of my forefathers and maybe I was, I was taught to be, I'm not though. Confused, completely overwhelmed, shaken and wary of the ramifications to those I help. I mean when I came on who knew I would be feeding a dead horse a grapple, petting it or hugging Death herself while wondering if she could eat a salad before it fell into a cycle decomposition." Tova shook her head, "It seems I need to not only be prepared for anything we may run into, but I need to be more familiar with anything I may run into onboard as well. I feel like there should have a big warning sign as I came aboard with mentions of pirates, a knocked up crew, the personification of Death, and a disappearing baby minotaur on top like a fuzzy little cherry." She sat running her hands over her face. "At least I have some sort of training to handle abnormal situations, I just never thought they would be this extenuating or existential."

She looked at Dox, "How did you adjust? What did you do to become familiar with how things work?" She looked down a bit ashamed, "I was at the Academy for so long things were familiar, easy, simple. This is all new for me, my first long term assignment." Her hands were spread in front of her in askance.

"Well, one thing I can say is that the Vodka doesn't really help. I tried drowning my confusion as well, and it... didn't make anything any better." Mnhei'sahe said as she looked across at the woman who was older even than her own mother by two decades, but somehow felt significantly younger. It was an unusual observation, but in some ways her life experiences put her past the over 90-year-old El-Aurian, and this certainly was one.

Taking a breath, the anxious Romulan woman ran a finger over her ear nervously and got up. Pacing generally helped her think, "But, that aside, I had some degree of experience with... chaos. I grew up on a smuggling ship. I was flying it by ten. Those old, healed fractures and breaks you found in my medical scans stated in my combat training earlier than that. When other children were playing with friends, I was learning how to use the gasses of a nebula to hide from Klingon security sweeps. I was, for a very long time, a very miserable person."

"My experiences in Starfleet before coming here were less than impressive. Cargo shuttle pilot work on very quiet starbases and the like. But when I came here, I found a lot. For every... eldritch god that tried invading my mind, there were true friends to help pull me back. Yes, I've encountered things that the academy could only hint at, but I also found friends and a family that I learned would never let me face it all alone. In truth, some days I don't cope. Some days I unadjust right back to feeling like I'm going to shatter under the weight of it all."

"Those days, I have my wife. I have the officers on the Flight Deck. I have those two in R&D to relax in Ten-Forward with. I have Commander Paris and Captain Telvan and Chief Clemens to keep my feet here on the deck." Mhnei'sahe said, no longer pacing as she looked down as Tova sat there listening. "Even if Taxes wants to take me for a ride out of the ship without a suit to another galaxy. I always come back here where I'm never alone. That's how I handle it, Tova."

"There's an old speech they like to give at the academy, that says that Starfleet is a promise. I give my life for you and you give your life for mine." Mnhei'sahe said as she flicked her red bangs out of her hair. "Or... something like that. Commander Paris says, Stronger together. It's easier to remember, but just as true. You handle it because you're stronger than just you will ever be now. Because you're a part of the Hera. That means you aren't just an El-Aurian doctor anymore. You're all of us because we're always behind you. You're a Trill pirate and a human explorer. You're a Vulcan Kolinahr master and a Romulan smuggler. You're an Andorian engineer and Mariposian test pilot. And now, a young Japanese human who found themselves in one of the most tremendous jobs in all creation, who needs friends."

 "Also, yes she can eat a salad. Sushi is her favorite, though." Dox ended with a light smirk.

Tova looked down, "I guess that is where the Academy and Starfleet taught me a different lesson. There is a level of politics there determined by those higher and more entrenched in the system. I learned the hard way that there are those who would seek to use others for their own purposes if possible, when possible. It makes it trust past a certain point difficult. I can't imagine how you overcame such difficulties. My own seem so trivial in comparison." She stood up and walked over to Dox, "Since this is a new place, a new beginning and chapter in my life then it seems I need to adjust my thinking on the matter of how I approach those around me. I've never been part a crew but it seems I am now. I think I will like being a Romulan smuggler," Her face broke out into a lovely smile, "and a Japanese human, though between you and me I am intimidated by the human explorer aspect of myself." She crinkled her nose with a playful smile, finally looking more relaxed and open than she ever had since coming on board. "Thank you Mnhei’sahe Dox, your wisdom and kindness is more appreciated than you know." She went over to the books gifted to her by Rei, "It seems I only have one last thing to do, secure these books and check on my sickbay. I've spent enough time fretting about myself, my calling is to serve others."

She turned to look at Dox, "At some point though I would ask to sit down with you and find out more about this mysterious ship and its inhabitants. Perhaps over sushi with Rei and your lovely wife?"

"Mona can't see Rei, but otherwise, that sounds like a plan to me, Tova. As for this ship, we are sometimes less a crew and more a family. And we look out for each other " Mnhei'sahe said with a smile as she looked over at the books. "Those books? Rei gave them to you?"

The doctor's face fell into what could be seen as a practiced neutrality, "Hopefully this family will be," she hesitated searching for a polite way to word what she wanted to say, "more conscionable in its dealing with each other than my own." There was obviously more to the story of the supposedly idyllic background of the doctor that she was not speaking about, but it could wait. Tova was already walking over to the unusual tomes on her desk. They looked different from most, the glyphs and markings unknown and obvioulsy placed upon the spines with care. Tova picked one up showing it to Dox, "These were a gift from Rei," when she looked at the kind Romulan her eyes glittered with tears, "they were one of the few things she managed to save from my planet before its destruction by the Borg. She entrusted them to me for safekeeping." Tova hugged the book to her, closing her eyes to regain control over her emotions. "I can never repay her for such a kindness. My father is a historian, Dr. Amiasos Mah, the foremost expert on El-Aurian history, my mother is the art expert. They would sell our entire house or more for these books, I understand their value more than most. I grew up innudated with lessons, tales and examples of books similar to these though few if any so ancient. People fought to have an audience with my parents," she sighed as the sentimentality drained away from her, "and they are well connected at Starfleet."

She shook her head, "We were speaking of dinners and Rei though. I gave her a gift as well, one I thought she would like. It was my personal copy of 'When Death Comes' by Pulitzer Prize winner Mary Oliver." Tova smirked, "she liked it as well the lollipop."

With a warm little smirk curling the corner of the chubby cheeks, the Romulan Flight Cheif tilted an eyebrow as she brought her attention back up from the books to their owner. "She had the book in her hands when she came and asked me to come talk to you, and she was holding it like the prized possession it no doubt is, Tova. As these are to you."

"If you don't mind me playing... what's the human term... armchair councilor," Mnhei'sahe said with a light shrug. "We get along now, but my relationship with my own mother has been... extremely turbulent... for the majority of my life. There were massive, massive hurdles to overcome to get to the admittedly still fragile place we are now, so believe me when I say that I understand having issues with a parent. But these books are yours. Maybe when you're done reading them, done learning all you can from them, then you'll know what's best for them. I'm betting your answer is in there, somewhere."

"This ship's pretty safe, when it comes to storing secrets. She will keep yours as well as she has kept mine. And, as an El-Aurian, you're functionally immortal, so... you've got time to figure out what you want to do with these." Mnhei'sahe concluded with a light chuckle. "So take that time. You're thoughtful. You're smart. AND you care... you'll figure out what's the right thing to do with them when you're ready."

Tova looked thoughtful for a moment, "I forget my aging process at times. I was raised on Earth surrounded by humans despite my parent's best efforts to instill an El-Aurian heritage. My parents attempts to isolate me only worked just so well, but life has a way of ruining plans. I got to know people and bonded with others. It was not to the degree some might because I was always the dutiful daughter but friendships formed nonetheless. It's been difficult to see my peers grow old and wither. I joke with others but it breaks my heart that I will have to come to terms with loosing those I care for to age," she looked down" I will loose my Romulan smuggler aspect, even my intimidating human explorer aspect. I'm still getting used to that part of myself. I am beginning to find comfort here though, among the stars and on the Hera. As for the books, I consider them mine. If Rei wanted them in my father's care should could have gifted them to him no doubt, but she didn't, she gave them to me." There was a certain pride in Tova's voice when she claimed the books, "In time I will decide what to do with them, for now however they are my legacy." She walked to the books and placed her hand on them in a protective fashion, "I will keep them safe until the time comes for me to choose the next keeper of these tomes, these gifts."

She smiled at Dox, "Until then it seems the Hera has the keeper of the lollipops, healer of the sick, wielder of hypos and semi-immortal smart-aleck at their service." She curtsied ever so cutely and laughed brightly.

With a light, but slightly anxious smile, Dox nodded back. "Indeed. We all have our duties to attend to. Some better than others. I have a very pregnant wife to get back to and it's my night to make dinner."

In truth, the young Romulan had an idea of what Tova was talking about. After all, Her own lifespan was almost three times that of her Miradonian wife, which was a thought that often kept her up at night. But for now, she was here to do what she could for her new friend. "So, I know it's still a lot to think about. But remember, this is the Hera. We look out for each other and when one of us needs an ear to listen, there's always someone near. So, if you're ever feeling like all of this is overwhelming, you know where my office is."

"Always, and I look forward to meeting the tiniest little passengers yet to come. You are going to be a wonderful mother. Between you and me I have such a sweet spot for children. Now get to your beautiful wife Mona and make sure she eats and keeps up her strength, Doctor's orders." Tova beamed at Dox obviously feeling much better after their talk.

Nodding, Dox took her cup back to the replicator for reclamation, adjusted her uniform and nodded to the ship's new doctor. "I... can't wait to meet them either." There was a warm smile on her face as she headed to the door of Tova's quarters. "Good evening, Doctor."

"Good evening Dox," said Tova as she left. "Now to get dressed and go fully set up my office in sickbay, its time to settle in." Tova finally felt like she was worthy to be the CMO of the Hera, Keeper of the El-Aurian Legacy and Distributor of the Lollipops...all worthy titles in her opinion.