The Flamelet And The Firestorm

Posted on Wed Aug 27th, 2014 @ 2:58pm by Staff Warrant Officer Nexi & Lieutenant Commander Charon Edomar

Mission: Something Amiss
Location: USS Hera
Timeline: MD3 - 1300

Charons mood was not good. His aura, like a water balloon spread thin over too much water, seemingly ready to tip over at any second.
His feelings told him there was something wrong. Years before, shortly before the Tikuman had been destroyed in a Romulan attack, had he felt just he was feeling now. While back then he had still used his empathic abilities to asses the people around him he had not been able to predict the disaster they had blindly flown into. Now with the restriction of his powers he forced upon himself he was feeling even more helpless and his mind was full with dark foreboding. In his minds eye he saw the destruction of the Hera over and over again. It wasn't helping that the rest of the crew was anxious about the mission as well. It only served to make him worry even more. For now though, on his way through the corridors of the Nebula class starship, he was portraying a solid mask of assertiveness.

About the only person on this ship who was not a nervous tangle of anxious energy was Nexi. She stood out as a beacon of calm in all this tension, for surely this was all business as usual, so either she felt no tension at all or she kept it so tightly concealed that any random telepath would believe she felt nothing at all. Maybe it was a little of both; maybe Nexi had been in this business for so long now she had forgotten how to feel...

But Nexi didn't need to be half-Betazoid to know that something was off about Charon. As she approached him to pass him by in the hall, she could see the haunted look in his eyes, a look she had put into countless victims over the years. Something about seeing it in this man stirred a feeling of remorse, she couldn't figure out why. He was a stranger, a lackey of her client, why should she care what he might have been through? It was none of her business, best to just move along...

He had spotted her from afar. If her clothing hadn't give her away it was the way she behaved. She moved differently than the crew. Her bearing was confident and self-assured. He didn't like it one bit. When she was close enough for him to not have to raise his voice he looked at her. “You!” Charon's voice was quiet. “With me.” He ordered and somehow despite his matter-of-factly tone of voice and his obvious lack of physically threatening qualities it did not seem to be too good of an idea to not follow his order. A bit further ahead the door to the 10 forward lounge opened and a few crewmen walked out. They were talking and laughing in obviously restrained volume. When they saw Charon they simply nodded mouthed a quiet but respectful 'Sir!'and moved on, continuing their conversation only after they were out of earshot. “In there.” Charon said, his gaze directed at Nexi but his eyes clearly not focused on her. Then he walked on.

Nexi could guess what this was about, but remained silent as she followed Charon to Ten Forward. This had better be good, she had things to do! A stop by the replicator to get a cup of coffee, another luxury she had not had the pleasure of indulging in for some time, and she was ready to face whatever Charon would throw at her. "What's this all about-" she took a moment to glance at his rank pips, "-Commander?"

Moving through the small groups that were spread out in the lounge Charon returned greetings and nodded in response when someone addressed him by his rank or 'Sir'. He stepped over to the replicator and ordered his drink. “Ullian green leaf tea, hot, one brown sugar stick on the side.” After the steaming, light green beverage had swirled into existence Charon picked it up and moved towards an open table. Miraculously there was still one open right under the curvature of the large windows, offering an amazing view of the thin lines that were the stars at warp.
He sat down and after putting the sugar stick into the tea he closed his eyes, lightly rubbing them with his fingers for a moment. Meanwhile the tea was spreading his elusive, pepperminty aroma around. After a moment he looked at Nexi. It was now that he really looked at her. His blue-greys resting upon her black eyes. “So, … “ he began, but took a sip before he continued. “ … where are you from?” It sounded like a honest question and if it hadn't been for the circumstances it could have been one.

"Well, ain't that a loaded question," Nexi replied with a laugh. "Too many places, Commander, far too many," she answered honestly as she leaned back in her chair, rocking on the back legs of the chair. She was sorely tempted to put her feet up on the table, but this place was far too clean for that. "Somehow I doubt you want small talk, but assuming I gave you a truthful answer, what is it you really want to know?"

Charon was typing on his pad not really listening what she was saying. No doubt it was some rehearsed speech that she gave people when they asked questions she did not want to answer.
“Listen, its simple really, I want to know what is in this for you.” He said and took a sip from his glass cup. “And don't try and give me that crap about being our prisoner. I know what it takes to keep people with skills like yours prisoner and what we are doing falls way short of that.” Charon said. “Way short. So what is keeping you on board?” He didn't sound to be doing anything but idle talk up to this point. But his last sentence had a strange quality to it. The 'why are you here?' of the question seemed to have a physical quality to it.

So much indeed that the people in the room stopped talking for a second and looked around. Most of them looked at their XO and asked each other for the time. Several of the crew actually got up and asked around if they were late for duty. It took a few seconds for the strange energy in the room to dissipate and a few moments longer for everything to go back to normal.

Charon himself hadn't even noticed the strange occurrences around him and that was most probably a good thing. His eyes were again fixed at Nexi's black ones but now they seemed to crackle with energy. He wanted an answer. A honest one. Albeit he was certain he wouldn't get one.

Nexi had the gall to laugh. Yeah, if she was a prisoner, then they were failing miserably at keeping her contained. Not that she thought of herself as a prisoner. "Definitely not a prisoner," Nexi said as her laughter subsided. "Chance brought me here, that's the truth. I came here to track down a debtor that skipped out on the Liquidators, nothing more. But your Captain made me an offer that caught my attention, so I'm staying for a little while. Once the job is done, I'm gone and I'll take my capture back to Ferengi space and you'll never hear from me again." She hoped he would be satisfied with that answer because that's all he was getting. The Captain knew the real reason Nexi was staying, but the answer she gave Charon was true enough that it should appease him.

"But what has me curious," Nexi continued as she rocked in her chair before swinging forward to rest her elbows on the table, leaning on the table to get closer to Charon as if it somehow intensified the truths hidden in his smoky blue grey eyes, "why are you here?" She smiled slightly as all her senses focused on the Ullian man, looking for any cracks in his mental defenses where she might find some interesting tidbit of information. "Everyone on this ship is nervous and agitated, the anticipation for what is to come is almost... suffocating. Everyone is new to what lays ahead of us. But not you... You're something else... I dare say you're like me, broken beyond saving." Her smile faded and she tilted her head curiously. "You've been through the furnace, haven't you? What did your trials make you into?" she asked.

Charon took another sip. He looked around the room and for a long while kept quiet. “I am a Starfleet officer and a doctor. If there is a way to help people then I will go and try to.” He finally said but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of that fact than talking to Nexi. “It is called compassion. Try it sometime.” He advised. With that said he got up and picked up his now empty cup so he could bring it back to the replicator to be recycled.
Images of his time in Romulan captivity flashed through his mind. The mental strain it put on him was not noticeable from the outside. Even for someone half Betazoid. Charon knew though that he needed to get back to his quarters.
When he was just about next to Nexi he stopped. “The Captain, Fairchild and Stanson, you'll have to watch out for them, so they don't interfere with whatever you have planned ...” His head turned towards her, his voice calm and manner of factly. “... but me, me you should be afraid of.” He had the nagging feeling that somehow this mission would not go as planed and his fear was that his control would slip at some point. And for reasons he could not put into words he had the feeling Nexi would be in largely responsible for anything that went wrong. And he feared for what might happen if he had already assigned blame by now.

"You are making the erroneous assumption that I have something nefarious planned, but I don't. I will do what I'm paid to do. What do I have to gain by doing otherwise?" Nexi asked as she rose, reclaiming her mug of coffee and taking a heavy swig. This man... He was walking on a razor's edge and she actually felt a minuscule fraction of compassion and even concern for his plight. She knew what he was living with, even if she didn't know the situation that had caused this unbalanced state.

"If there is a rogue element in this plan, it's you. I know where I stand and I have a pretty good idea about everyone else, but you are... on the edge of chaos. I can feel how madness dances on the edges of your sanity. You have to learn how to use it or it will consume you and bring everything and everyone around you to ruin." And Nexi was speaking from experience. What her mentor had taught her about using the madness had saved her life. She had been on a destructive path before, but now she was stronger for it.

Charon would have chuckled if his sense of humour hadn't been out of commission right now. She thought she understood. How cute. “I am not one to trust people. It has served me well in the past. And I will not make the mistake to trust someone such as you.” He said and the insult it was intended to be carried in his voice. “According to Starfleet Medical I am fit for duty. And as long as the Doctor Cage does not declare me otherwise I will continue with doing my job.” The fact that he could easily have himself replace Cage as CMO at any point in time and for any time period he wanted to made that all but impossible though.
Charon's head cocked slightly sideways. “Whatever you think you are 'feeling', is exactly what I want you to 'feel'.” He said to set Nexi's idea of him straight. Although unbeknownst to him she was close to understanding part of his trouble. “It takes a much more powerful telepath than you to be able to read me. It would be a good idea to keep that in mind.”
With that he started walking towards the replicator.

Nexi followed him to the replicator to freshen her coffee and top off the mug. "Maybe I ain't as strong a telepath as you, but I'm doing more than reading you telepathically. And I don't even need to be a telepath to see that your control over yourself is tenuous at best." Nexi was highly amused by this exchange. She wondered how far she could push him before he pushed back... "I ain't asking you to trust me, you would be a fool if you did. All I'm asking is for you to listen. Are you 'Fleeters even capable of listening?"

The truth was, ... no, he couldn't even think it. He wouldn't let himself. It was way to dangerous. He had managed so far. He had struggled for this level of control and he would not allow for his work to be for naught.
He placed the cup in the replicator and pushed a button on the control panel. With a swirl of light it vanished. He turned towards Nexi and after slowly and audibly breathing in and out he resumed their conversation. “And what exactly do you think that is? That advice that you think you can give me. That great revelation that I have missed all this time.” He asked with no lack of condescending tone. His senses now screaming at him to return to his quarters.

"No great revelation," Nexi said as she led him out of the lounge. She couldn't quite sense his desire to return to his quarters, but there was a sense of urgency, so it was just a logical leap to get him out of the lounge and away from people. "Don't try to hold it in," she started once they were out of earshot of other officers. "If you just keep holding it in, it will eventually consume you. It becomes your whole world, it's all you ever think about... Eventually it becomes all you can feel until later you just become numb and you feel nothing." Nexi allowed a fraction of real emotion leak out, let him feel her numbness, how unaffected she was over... everything. She was dead inside, and by all rights she shouldn't have cared if Charon went down the same path as she, but somehow she did care.

"Use it," she continued once her mental barriers had shut him out. "Channel the madness into something useful. I'm almost certain you don't wanna know what I channel my madness into, but I'm pretty sure it ain't gonna work for you given your occupation as a 'Fleeter. Whatever it is, you've gotta find a way to let it out in controlled doses. You can trust me when I say I don't wanna see you end up like me."

Walkig allongside her Charon thought about what she had said. Some day, when they had some time alone, he would show her. But that day was not today.
He stopped in his tracks. Shut up! He thought to himself. Shut up, shut up, shut up! This wasn't supposed to go like this. He was supposed to be stable. A model officer. Get yourself together! Charon scolded himself.
“That is a really … bad idea.” He said out loud and something strange gleamed in his eyes for but a second. It was gone fast and he was back to the way he was. Trying not to slip up. With slower steps he moved on.

"Fine, don't listen to me, let it eat you up inside," Nexi said in a jaded tone, "but one day, you won't be able to keep it in and it's gonna come out at the worst possible moment. It ain't like you need to do something about it right this second, just think about it."

Charon looked at her for a long moment. This woman seemed to misunderstand his predicament. That much was clear to him by now. “I think it is time for us to part ways. I do have quite a lot to take care of.” He said politely.

"Yeah, like hassling innocent guests minding their own business..." Nexi muttered under her breath. And as far as she was concerned, that's exactly what he had done to her. It was all good though, she got him all worked up and irritated. What was that human term? Karma?