Say 'Maaaaa...'

Posted on Thu Feb 23rd, 2017 @ 10:17pm by Commander Mal Xustos & Lieutenant Ian Dodger

Mission: Refit Rondo
Location: Sick Bay
Timeline: Current

Having learned that Sick Bay was up and running, Mal decided he'd get his physical out of the way as soon as possible. Getting his physical out of the way right away would set an example to the crew of how he expected things to be done: in good time and with a minimum of bullshit. Plus, he'd avoid a crowd. So when 'as soon as possible' o'clock rolled around, Mal went straight to Sick Bay. It was rather empty. The full crew hadn't quite come aboard yet, but there were a few.

"Doctor Dodger?" Mal called out. "Are you in?"

Mal stood there in his uniform shirt and jacket and utilikilt and waited for a response.

From an open jeffries tube, a voice called out, "Be with you in a moment." Metallic tools pinged and a tookit was placed on the ground just outside of the tube before Ian crawled out. "Just having an argument with a bag of computerized phlegm that the fleet seems to want to cram inside every juncture orifice in the..." As if realizing he sounded like someone's peevish grandfather, he stopped himself and took a breath, looking up at the man. "Sorry, commander, I didn't mean to rant. How can I help you today?"

"No need to apologize," Mal said. "Troublesome technology is a common theme in every race, species, nation, et cetera, et cetera. The more advanced the technology, the more potential for malfunction. Anyway, I believe we are all expected to make our way through Sick Bay for a check up. I can't rightly complain about others trying to avoid Sick Bay if I do. So, here I am! Bright-eyed and bushy tai...well, my tail is a bit short to be very 'bushy' but I assure you that what there is of my tail is now bushy...that must sound very strange, no? Well, before I digress any further, please, examine away!"

"Ah yes, the daily grind." Ian replied with a nod, consulting the PaDD attached to his sleeve to read the commander's commbadge and send his medical files to the nearest biobed. "If you could lay on the biobed over there," He said, pointing at it. "I'm calling up your medical records and species-specific data." He pulled a medical tricorder from a niche on the wall and popped out the scanning peripheral, which he synched with the biobed's monitor, and then looked at the commander expectantly. "I've written to Starfleet a few times about equipping the transporters to use induction testing for this sort of thing, but they do insist that it be done in person, else doctors would have too much free time on their hands."

Mal climbed up on the biobed and lay down in his back. He expected this to go well. He was young for a Pomtoli and in great shape. He even kept his hooves clean and washed behind his horns!

"With every innovation someone, somewhere, has sounded the alarm that the machines are taking over," Mal said. "And yet, no matter how far our technology has advanced, the living element has remained in some way. Why do you think that is, Doctor?"

"If we lose the sentient element, we're probably not much better than the Borg." Ian replied using the scanning peripheral to direct the biobed's scans. "Back when I was on the Bowditch, we came across a cult of people who wanted to join the Borg Collective because they believed the Borg to be the perfect society. They called themselves Assimilationists. They were, no joking, living in the remnants of a Borg cube, putting implants into their bodies and stealing ships from all over to try and rebuild the damn thing... Cardio-vascular system's good, nervous system's good..." He interjected as he scanned. "Machines don't... often feel empathy. If they don't know what suffering is, why would they work to alleviate it?"

Mal nodded awkwardly from his reclined position.

"A senient, living being can to a certain extent relate to a patient's pain, fear, frustration, et cetera," he said. "They can respect a patient's dignity. We've made great progress with our EMH technology, even to the point that they are considered in corners as sentient photonic lifeforms, and even our EMH's require time to learn how to understand an organic lifeform's feelings, concerns, worries, and the like."

Ian made a face. He often struggled with issues regarding EMH and Hologram sentience. "Which makes it an awkward conversation when I use the same holographic technology that projects sentient holograms to create medical test surrogates for the interns I'll be teaching." He'd been given two more interns to teach aboard the Hera, the poor hapless souls. He had every intention of 'pimping' them as roughly as the attending physician at Cedars Sinai had done when Ian was a lowly intern himself. "Except, of course, that, if one of the interns has to cut a holo-patient open and crack their ribcage, the patient won't be programmed to feel pain." Ian's surgical intern from the Katana had learned to dread the holo-simulations worse than seeing actual living patients.

"Well," Mal said with a cheeky smile. "If you're lucky maybe the sentient holograms won't rise up and use you and your interns as the medical test subjects."

"Well, until they develop sustainable, self-replicating mobile emitter technology, I am not worried."
Ian mused with a chuckle. So far, the most advanced mobile emitters were the size of a large backpack. To his knowledge, at least. "Everything is looking good. You're in excellent health, no appreciable health problems, acceptable stress levels... I'd say you're fit for duty."

Mal climbed down from the biobed and stood up.

"Thank you, Doctor Dodger," he said. "That was perfectly painless. Well, I'm off. Very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well." Ian said, putting the scanning peripheral away and resetting the biobed's sensors. "Have a good rest-of-your day." He added with a smile and nod, moving off to the side so Mal could take his leave.