Engine Trouble

Posted on Thu Jun 28th, 2018 @ 9:36pm by Commander Rita Paris & Lieutenant Commander Thex sh'Zoarhi

Mission: Holographic Horrors
Location: USS Hera, Deck 5, Hangar bay
Timeline: 2395

“So the plan was reasonably simple- to escape from the dark matter ion storm, just pull out an archaic maneuver from science fiction that no one has ever particularly tried because of the insane stressors involved. So I chase down science, and they say it might work. I chase down the engineer, she says it might work. But we need an engine from one of the auxiliary craft because Elric of freaking Melnibone tore up some of the starship’s systems and she wants to insure we aren’t going to lose main power while we are in the middle of this crazy idea. Which wouldn’t ordinarily be a problem.”

“Except that the storm is playing havoc with the shipwide holo emitters, so suddenly the entire ship is a holodeck with the safeties turned off which may or may not be trying to play with, hamper, hinder or just outright kill anyone anywhere at any time. Which means that a simple trip from Deck 24 main Engineering to Deck 5 hangar bay might just force you to cross a howling blizzard on a glacier, hopscotch across lava and swim camp Crystal lake,” Paris grunted as she pulled harder at the lightweight Andorian chief engineer she was determined to get onto the ledge where she had some purchase.

Lightweight, but wearing a heavy armored salvage suit.

“Or you might find yourself trying to cross a chasm that was the turbolift a few seconds ago,” Paris’ breathing was labored- she was already exhausted from no sleep and the sum total of the day’s activities, but she refused to lose her grip and fail her partner in mad science. Thex was brave enough to come along on this insane mission, so Rita was determined not to let her down. How someone so lightweight was so heavy was beyond her- wasn't this suit ceramics and polymers? Or it might just be that no sleep and no food or water were taking their toll on the all-too-human muscles of the lost navigator.

" Pretty much. Never a dull moment in Starfleet." Thex replied as she pulled herself up to the ledge and scrambled up. Anchoring herself, she then reached down to pull her human friend up. Far stronger than her larger human friend, the Andorian only grunted slightly as she pulled her friend up onto the safety of the ledge. " You want to rest for a second?" She asked, panning her eyes around the corridor and scanning with her antennae. “It should be a quick dash to the hanger bay from here.”

“Famous last words,” Paris wheezed, sweat staining her bright gold uniform. “I know the captain was just looking out for me, but this uniform really doesn’t vent heat like it used to with these leggings,” Rita griped, then wagged her hand in the direction they were heading. “M’okay, let’s just get moving. We’re close, and I can rest while I stand guard and hand you tools while you work.”

The andorian nodded as she stood up, and lead the way towards the hanger. Opening the double doors, she carefully peeked her head around the doors. The hanger was thankfully empty, which brought a sense of great relief to the andorian. You could easily fit any number of the giant monsters of myth in here. The Orion class ships stood alongside the arrow class runabout in the repair bay where they'd been left. She'd better take good care of it or Nexi would be very angry. " Move very slowly. There's plenty of places to hide in here, " she whispered to her friend.

“Guess my crews are all on a coffee break. All at the same time…” Rita muttered, displeased to see her flight deck abandoned and empty. Of course, there might be a very good reason for that, and for all she knew her ‘deck apes’ might be hiding from some holographic horror that had been loosed on the bay. Moving cautiously behind the petite blue engineer, Paris kept her eyes peeled and her phaser set for heavy stun until they reached the ship who was about to loan out her engine in a very worthy cause.

Tabbing the securipad on the shuttle airlock, Paris pressed her thumb to it and spoke quietly. “Chief flight control officer Lieutenant Paris, authorization 867-5309.” The hatch unsealed and slowly opened, allowing them access to the craft. “After you,” Paris offered magnanimously as she sent Thex in first, then followed, sealing them in the scout craft.

“No holo emitters in here, so we might just get a breather,” Rita opined, hoping the universe wasn’t setting out to prove her wrong as usual.

" Yeah, just keep an eye open in case something is in here. The holo emitters may be extended further than their normal range, " Thex said quietly as she began to unscrew one of the ship’s access panels. The part she needed was beneath, though she'd needed to remove a few other parts first. As she worked she pushed as a smell reached her nose. " Rita, can you smell that?" she asked as she recognized the smell. A very distinctive Orion perfume.

Experimentally the lost navigator sniffed the air, then wrinkled her nose as she tightened her grip on the phaser whose design she also objected to, as she did so many things in the future. Rita was much more fond of the days when her firearm looked like a firearm, not a cleaning tool. “Whatever it is, it smells bad and it’s making my headache worse. What is that?”

" A perfume made from Orion pheromones. It's wearer could be from at least twenty different holo-programs though if they're as broken as the rest of them it doesn't matter. " She said as she uncoupled and pulled out the plasma pulse drive from its holding. " I've got it- can you see anything? " she asked looking over to Rita.

"Wait wait wait, there are holo programs about Orion slave girls?!?" the old school officer asked in shock and disbelief, then her basic understanding of human nature reasserted herself. "Of course they have holographic Orion slave girls, because they can. All this science I don't understand, and that's what they use it for. Okay, so what, are they dangerous or something? Their pheromones don't work on us, do they? Well, maybe you, plus they do have multispecies appeal."

As she rambled and reacted, Paris peered about the flight deck to see if the coast was clear.

Thex was about to inform her friend that the programs she used was for her dancing lessons, but that didn't matter at the moment. The source of the smell became clear as an olive blur dropped down from the top of the ship and smashed into the human flight officer. Before Thex could even think it, the spinning green dervish had slammed into her as well. The impact smashed her into the ground, knocking the wind out of her lungs and sending the part flying across the hangar. Thex could now see the intruder in full. She didn't recognize the Orion woman from her dancing programs, though that may have been because she was focusing on the knife held to her neck.

Of course the dustbuster had skidded across the deck then she had been ambushed, somehow not expecting to be piledriven by an exotic dancer while they were trying to retrieve an engine. As Paris struggled to rise her recently-knitted ribs reminded her that they were still not fully recovered, and as she labored to get a breath into her, she took in the situation. A squad of three scantily-clad green women stood in a V phalanx, the lead holding a wicked-looking curved knife to Thex's throat. Rising up to one knee, Paris held her hands up in surrender.

"Hey hey hey, whoah now... let's talk about this, ladies," Paris offered, hoping there was some sort of logic as to why a trio of exotic dancers would attack them on the flight deck. Idly she noticed that none of them were built like a Maica- apparently that particular shape was unique, she observed, never quite putting together that her own figure was more similar than that of this bevy of bare-skinned beauties. Whatever they wanted, Rita was inclined to give it to them- they held a knife to her friend and partner in crime, and the lost navigator wasn't keen on having to live with blue blood on her hands. Hoping that Thex was a lot more dangerous than she looked, Paris tried to lighten the mood and stall for time a little bit. "You girls wanna hold a dance-off or something?"

Brain racing, Thex tried to place the holograms from one of the programs with which she was familiar. They definitely weren't from any of her dancing programs that she could tell, so they must have been from somewhere else. One of the old adventure holo novels perhaps? Her friend’s words gave her some breathing room, as the Orion loosed the pressure of her blade on the andorians neck.

" As if you could hope to match us in the dance, human," sneered the one who was obviously the leader, as they turned their wrath toward the human.

“Sure, pick on me because I’m a white girl whose dance moves are 140 years out of date,” Paris shot back. “Please. You move with the grace of a Heliopholant Grugnar and you have all of the charm of a Thandarian Bandersnatch. Hell, even Thex there could dance you lot under the table,” Paris taunted, hoping that she was on the right track here. Apparently her talent for finding a soft spot had paid off, and the green-skinned girls were typical of their ilk, and daring to throw shade at their dancing ability had gotten them riled.

Now so long as Thex could do her part, Paris might just find them a way out of this ridiculous situation. Because ‘murdered by homicidal holographic hootchies’ would not look good on either of their tombstones.

The orion leader smirked before letting out a small laugh that was more creepy than anything the two had heard. " As if this pathetic andorian could hope to match me. They are a crude race built for fighting, like the brutes they are. " Even so, she realeased the knife from Thex's throat.

" Still… I do enjoy humiliating Starfleet’s riotous intruders, " the lead dancing girl said, glancing at her two companions who, with a look from her, had pulled Thex up to her feet. " What do you say, Andorian? If you beat me in a dance, I'll let you and your companion go. I'll even let you take your trinket."

" And what will happen if I lose?" Thex responded as one of her handlers drew a long thin blade and placed it under her chin.

" Then I'll take your friend, break her until she's my loyal dubi, then I’ll have her perform the chuulak on you and send the footage to Starfleet as a warning to others." The Orion woman replied as she wrapped her arms around Thex’s neck in an almost seductive manner.

This at least cleared up one thing for Thex. They were holograms from a cheesy holo-novel.

As for Paris, she didn’t know what a ‘dubi’ was, nor ‘chuulak’, but the odds of either of those things happening were exactly the same as her being ‘broke’n by some holographic harlot. Silently, she made eye contact with Thex, her eyes flickering over to where her phaser had skidded to a halt in an attempt to communicate her plan. Thex could dance, and likely beat- well, the dancers were not wearing any pants to be beaten off, but still- she would definitely serve as a distraction, and hopefully give Rita an opening to get the drop on the green-skinned strippers.

“Don’t do it, Thex! You can’t beat them!” Rita cried in an overly dramatic fashion with a wink in the Andorian’s direction.

Thex noted her friend's wink and eye gestures. There was something there though she didn't dare look at it not with the orion looking right at her.

" Your companion doesn't appear to have much faith in you, " the Orion asked, creepily running her hands along Thex's face and back. She was about to start talking again before the andorian barked out, " I'll do it!"

The Orion dancing girl looked rather amused as she let go of the andorian and turned to look back at Rita. " Looks like she's eager to be humiliated. Girls, help her into something more appropriate. " She commanded to her two companions.

Thex panicked as she felt the Orion’s knives slice into her salvage suit, cutting large chunks of the grey material off and throwing it against the walls. It only took them a minute to cut her out of a suit that should have easily resisted being cut by such implements. Their hands moved like water, pulling an orion dancers outfit from thin air which they dressed the engineer. She was feeling very embarrassed by the time she stood there in an almost identical outfit to the three Orion women.

As the trio had been focused on Thex, Rita had edged a bit closer to the lost phaser, though not enough to draw suspicion. As the slave girls had stripped the Andorian and the lead girl was busy gloating, Rita couldn’t help but be reminded of high school. Some things never change no matter how big the galaxy gets, Rita sighed internally. But it was working to their advantage right now, so she kept playing it up. Closing the distance between them, Rita clasped Thex’s hands in her own, pleading with her.

“Don’t do this Thex, they’ll kill you!” the gold-clad throwback said tearfully, even as Thex felt Rita press something into her hand. It was smooth and slightly rounded, with not one but three sharp points.

It was, of course, Rita’s comm badge, based on the old Starfleet command symbol of her era. As there was an embroidered version on Rita’s uniform, the slave girls were highly unlikely to notice it’s absence. It wasn’t the best of weapons, but she wasn’t about to leave Thex unarmed if she could help it.

As the dancing girls pulled them apart, they laughed mockingly even as they dragged Rita almost exactly where she wanted to go, and she mock struggled against them.

Thex had closed her hands on the combadge as soon as she felt it. As the Orion women dragged Rita away, the engineer quickly tucked the badge into one of the wristbands. No one appeared to notice as the Orion boss had her eyes focused on the struggling human.

Then she wheeled back to the andorian as her henchwomen got Rita into position. " Prepare to lose badly andorian." The lead dancer hissed as out of nowhere a fast-paced Orion beat began to play. Thex was honestly proud of herself as her body began to move to the beat and pace of the music, with all the skill of any of the best Orion dancers.

While the plan was to use the dance-off as a distraction- which Rita marveled over- who agreed to a dance-off? The two girls on either side of her started moving and shimmying a bit along with the beat of the music. It seemed you could take the girl out of the dance, but not the dance out of the girl. Rita was gauging just when to make her move when her eye caught the gyrations Thex was producing, and she took a few seconds to admire the form. The lithe engineer was indeed one hell of a dancer, and as she executed a walking flip, Rita could see that her acrobatic skill definitely gave her an unfair advantage over the green-skinned gal.

“Looks like your boss is in trouble, girls. You gonna let her go down like that?” Rita taunted. The two slave girls exchanged glances, then moved to join their leader in trying to out-Orion the sensually swirling Andorian.
Nice to know stupid hasn’t changed in a century and change, Rita thought to herself as she took advantage of the moment to quickly pick up her phaser and hide it behind her back. Now she had the chance to take control of the situation, but Thex was really into it, and frankly Rita kinda wanted to see her whup the three holographic hellcats at their own game.

Thex smirked as the Orion slave girls had to join in to try and help their boss. " Needing help to beat a lowly andorian? Some Orion you are," she smirked as she moved within a hair’s breadth away from the Orion boss. She could tell she was getting under the woman’s jade skin.
Apparently the mystery of where the flight crew had gotten off to was now solved, as they were gathering in a semicircle around the wildly gyrating dancers. They seemed to be mesmerized by the spectacle, which only made Rita smirk and roll her eyes. Under ordinary circumstances she wouldn’t have all this lollygagging on her flight deck, but in this case she figured they were under the influence, both of Orion pheromones as well as the sight of a rather energetic exotic dance being performed by four exotic alien beauties.
“Guess I can cut you boys a little slack just this once,” the chief helmsman muttered under her breath.

The music picked up in rhythm and tempo, to which the engineer kept pace with every shift in tone. She couldn't even begin to imagine what the Orion’s artificial brain was thinking, given that an andorain grease monkey was beating her ass at her own game.

The head Orion was furious. How dare this andorian humiliate her like this in front of her own slaves! Still, she had a plan for this. As one particular beat came, her hands were drawn behind her back. She could draw the needle blade and stab the andorian with the next pass- that would show her! Her hand reached around and...

She almost swore. The blade wasn't there. Where could it have...

As she felt a slight prick in her thigh, she got her answer.
" Missing something?" She heard the andorian whisper as she twirled away from her with a mocking bow. That b$%$£!! she thought as she felt the paralyzing poison seize up her leg, causing her to stumble and fall just as the music ended.

Thex didn't even stop until the music faded before bowing. She felt amazing. Hearing the swearing Orion on the floor, she turned to face her opponent. " Well, looks like I've won, lady. Guess the andorian isn't a dumb brute like you thought, is she? Having to use a poison to try and win? What sort of Orion dancer are you? " she said in a mocking tone.
“I will still have my revenge,” the leader of the pack snarled, even as a phaser beam struck her from behind, dropping her to the deck in a heap. As the two remaining dancers whirled to face the new threat, Rita Paris rather calmly shot them in short order. No banter, no quips, just simple expediency for once.
As they hit the deck unconscious, they faded from view, the computer glitch apparently having run its course.

“Well, are you not impressed, boys? How about a round of applause for our talented Chief Engineer?” Rita asked, looking to one side then the other as the phaser moved with her, seemingly inadvertently pointing it at the assembled flight crew. The men seemed to be a bit dazed, but they did offer at first polite then enthusiastic applause. Tucking the phaser under her armpit, Rita joined in, adding a wolf whistle for good measure as the applause grew quite enthusiastic in the shuttlecraft hangar.

Thex had a grin that she never thought she would be able to pull off. Thankfully, her outfit had stayed so she wasn't suddenly nude in front of the whole flight crew. Her brain was still trying to figure out what had happened and how a journey for a spare part had ended up with her winning a dance-off against some Orion holograms. She gave another polite curtsy before walking back into the shuttle to collect the part. It was fully intact, thankfully, which brought a sigh to the andorian.

Walking back out, she approached Rita. "May want to get some medical personnel up here to check on your boys, Rita. Orion pheromones can mess the brain up for quite a while." Looking around, Thex politely asked. " Where do you keep the flight jumpsuits? I'd like to have something other than this on as we get this to deck twenty."

Snapping her fingers loudly to get attention, the gold-clad chief turned to point at one then the other of her crewmen. "Garabaldi, Francisco, get the Commander a flight suit, size medium. Pair of boots too, size..." Paris turned her head to eye the bare blue feet. "Size seven. With socks. Now, lollygaggers!"

"As for the rest of you," Paris eyed her moon-faced dumbstruck crew, still high on Orion pheromones and more than a little distracted. Paris swaggered a step or two, then stood with her hands on her hips like a recruitment poster. "Don't you all have some work to do? You there, fetch up that engine and make sure it's safe, we're going to need that. Step smartly now, bring that to me. You, secure the Orion flyer here so it's ready to be reassembled later. Why is there grease on my flight deck? Let's get this place ship-shape before the captain sees this!"

As the flight deck crew scrambled into confused action, Garabaldi and Francisco handed Thex a white flight suit with blue piping and shoulders, with the matching blue boots. Rita then leaned in to Thex's space to mutter conspiratorially at her. "You want to change in my office or just put it on over your showgirl suit?"

" No point in hiding, your guys have already seen me in this. Not like a few more seconds will matter. " Thex said as she took the jumpsuit and began to pull it over her outfit. " Well that was by far the most oddest thing I've done in my carer in the fleet. " She said as she pulled the zipper up of the jumpsuit.

Picking up the engine they had come down to fetch with a grunt, the pilot parked it under her arm on one generous hip, then draped her arm over the engineer's shoulders as she walked them off the flight deck. "Stick with me, Thex, and this'll tame by comparison eventually."

" Lead on, Rita- let's go make trouble!" Thex jokily said, hoping the universe wasn't listening.