The Talking Cure

Posted on Tue Jul 24th, 2018 @ 2:00am by Emergency Medical Hologram (Adam Power) Mk X & Commander Rita Paris

Mission: Holographic Horrors
Location: USS Hera, Deck 8, Lieutenant Paris' Quarters
Timeline: 2395

"So... so the captain... no. There were... we were..." Pacing back and forth trying to organize her thoughts was kinda taking a moment for Rita Paris. "It was... all right. Report."

At the command, apparently to herself, Rita dropped to sit on the edge of the couch, folded her hands and dropped them in her lap as she sat up straight, as if 'at attention' even when seated.

"I was pursuing the Captain to express a plan to save the ship. There was a tribble infestation concentrated in her quarters. I lured some of them out, then pursued the captain to assist her. While I body surfed the tribbles, they ate my uniform. By the time I found the captain, I was down to my skivvies. I didn't really notice losing them as we attempted to navigate to the exit." Rita sucked in a deep breath, which somehow made her look as though her chest were inflating.

"So we're there in her bathroom completely naked, so I try to play it all off as cool, right? Because the captain's cool with it, so I should have a sense of humor about it. And we figured- well, she figured out how to stop them, I just provided the bobby pins. But still, I helped." Paris paused, and her head began to tilt on a rather odd axis as her eyes took on a faraway look. "And then she said her wife would be jealous she got to see me naked first and made me promise to come get a naked massage from her wife because that's her thing, her position on the starship. And then she kind of invited me to have a threesome."

"That's... that's a new one on me." Turning to regard the Doctor, who still hadn't gotten a word in edgewise as his patient word vomited. "Admiral Nakamura hit on me when I was fourteen, and that was when Daddy changed his 'we don't talk about it' order. I got sex ed and I like to think that I have reasonably open mind. But this.... this is very, very worrisome."

Standing suddenly, Rita stepped into the aisle where her furniture was not placed, a space she had obviously cleared for pacing. As she stepped into stride, she ticked off the points as she paced back and forth. "This is a pirate princess who, the first night I met her practically offered me a captaincy in her pirate fleet. Did I mention that we are going to her pirate base after all of this for some R&R? Apparently where Grandmama holds court as the pirate queen? Privateers, really, as they hunt other pirates, although I'm uncertain from whom they would secure a letter of marque. Oh right, the pirate princess captain who can tell Starfleet off if she likes, if reputation is to be believed. Who talked them into shoving me into a dead woman's shoes. That's who just propositioned me."

"Oh, right, on top of all of that, she's also the captain of a Federation starship. Because if it was JUST that, it'd worry me and I'd lose sleep. But this? This?!?" Rita stepped out of the worn groove she was making in the turf carpet, pivoted and fell like a plank onto the couch. As she settled into it, Rita let out a shuddering breath.

"I have some anxieties I'd like to discuss please, Doctor?"

"Of course," replied the EMH softly, taking a seat and setting aside his medkit and PaDD. "I've dealt with the captain once or twice before as well in sickbay and I can confirm that she can be a bit... Stressful... to handle... at times... Please, continue."

“Well, not… stressful per se. Just… it makes me nervous because I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place here, you know? If I take it seriously- which she delivered it in that plausible deniability ‘I was only kidding but if you are in I was serious’ manner that hasn’t changed in apparently all the time I missed. Which I’m flattered, but I have a lot of trepidation about sleeping with the boss. Which I know sounds hypocritical because I was sleeping with the first officer when I was second, but the captain was still there as a command element to cut through the bullshit if there were disputes, which there weren’t because Vulcan.”

Rita paused in her clearly nervous rambling then brought up, “Plus I don’t think I swing that way, which is another problem. I don’t even know lesbian politics, so I’m not sure how to put that little tidbit out there. I mean, depending on the person maybe? I try to keep an open mind? But that’s definitely not where my taste lies, at least at the moment. So. Maybe stressful was the word?”

"A couple points I might add, if I may? The captain is from a very different culture from yours. Trill society tends towards the more liberal side of societies. As for the captain herself, from what I've heard, I believe that she joined Starfleet as a way to prove she was her own woman and more than her mother's pawn and heir to a family title. You grew up in an age where sexual inhibitions were not nearly as open as the ones she, and many other crewmembers crew up in. On the flip side of that, some crew members grew up in societies where it's rude to even eat in the same room with someone you're not related to. The captain may have let down her inhibitions for a moment in an attempt to pay you a compliment in her own way and it backfired. Perhaps try looking at it from that angle?"

“Pressuring me into a naked massage with her wife and inviting me to a lesbian three-way is a compliment?” Paris raised an eyebrow, then shook her head. She hadn’t expected this line of thought from the EMH, yet here it was. “I guess it could be viewed that way from a certain perspective? I mean, to me it just seems like a predatory abuse of power, because we had plenty of that back in my day. It was just that it tended to come from men in power, not women.”

“I don’t have any trouble accepting that different cultures operate differently- infinite diversity in infinite combinations, after all.” Paris spread her hands as she spoke, “We had swung back to conservative values in my time, historically speaking, so I know I’m a bit of a prude in the modern day. I’m just not used to those cultural differences taking precedence over Starfleet military etiquette and decorum. Seems like being backed into a no-win scenario to me, but sure, I guess it could have been a compliment?”

The EMH nodded at this with a serious look about him. "Then I guess it's a good thing the Captain isn't a Betazoid. They're empathic, communicate telepathically, and tend to go about their daily lives wither scantily clad or nude."

The hell is THAT supposed to mean?!? Rita wondered silently. "How do you know all of this about the Captain?" Paris asked, genuinely surprised at the insights and opinions the holographic physician had presented.

"For various reasons, she's had to make records of many of her prior counseling sessions a matter of public record." The Doctor waved his hand in the air, hoping to brush it off. "Because of her upbringing with pirates and unsavory types, she's had a few... Cultural sensitivity issues in the past. Most of the records are dry and boring, though some interesting points do come up right after she joined with her symbiont."

"So, okay, I guess that explains the whole okay with being naked thing and the proposition thing. We'll get back to all the stuff I didn't understand in that. My point is that she's a starship captain, and I'm directly in her chain of command. Doesn't that violate the SCMJ? It's fraternization, right?"

When she spoke again, the voice held much less inflection, and better diction. "Fraternization becomes a criminal offense under Article 134 of the Starfleet Code of Military Justice when the conduct "has compromised the chain of command, resulted in the appearance of partiality, or otherwise undermined good order, discipline, authority, or morale." Shaking her head in surprise, Rita chuckled. "Well, that all seems unlikely. So I guess fraternization isn't an issue, unless they rewrote the Starfleet Code of Military Justice over here."

Flopping down on the large soft couch, Paris inhaled deeply and stretched. Bringing her arms up in two stretches, she took hold of one wrist and pulled herself to the side, then sat up and switched grips. Her uniform rode up, and she reflexively tugged it back down again. "So. Let's look at the pros for a moment, shall we? I am desperately lonely. I have a friend and coworkers and a whole crew, but I'm sleeping alone and it hurts. A less lonely night would not be unwelcome, even if..."

"Yeah, I'll admit it. I'm pretty intimidated by the idea? I mean, bold galactic explorer, sure, but Orion masseuse and the captain is, um." Paris was silent for a moment, organizing her thoughts before speaking. "I don't know her. I've tried and we've talked but I just, I don't know who she is, how she works, how she thinks. I don't... get her isn't right, I don't know her. Does that make sense?"

"It does, in a way. You prefer to get to know someone before engaging in relations with them. If you feel uncomfortable, then let her know how you feel. You're both consenting adults and it will only get weird if you let it, fraternization or no." The EMH leaned forward and furrowed his brow in consternation, remembering something else Rita had said. "On top of that, it sounds like it was a stressful situation so who knows what she was thinking. You said her quarters were filled with... Tribbles? And they ate your clothes?"

“Very hungry tribbles. Yeahhhh, see, she established up front that she can do as she likes because Starfleet apparently has very little say in what she does and how she runs her ship. And when we get out of all this she mentioned that we are heading, not for a Starfleet starbase, but for the pirate starbase that Starfleet is apparently okay with her visiting because again, no say in it, which is still bizarre to me. I know, I know, enlightened future, different cultures, I am a dinosaur, I get all of that. So am I the only one here who sees the inherent danger in turning her down?” Rita asked plaintively.

The Doctor leaned back in his chair and thought it over for a moment before replying. "I prefer to think she'll take it like an adult. She knows the regulations and I'd honestly rather see the good in her, to be honest. She may be a special case within Starfleet, but I'd like to think there are certain lines she doesn't cross, if you know what I mean. As for her family's orbital fortress, Federation ships have been known to take shore leave at unconventional places before and I'm sure if Command had any issues, they would have denied the request and we would be headed for another port that includes rec facilities for photonics."

While she would have liked to have given the captain the benefit of the doubt, she didn’t know the woman and hadn’t had any luck in trying. At this point Rita had concerns that were apparently uniquely hers alone which were unable to be understood by anyone else. It seemed a lot like having a discussion with her brother, Rita realized, so she did exactly what she used to do in those cases- she lied.

“I’m sure you’re right and my fears are baseless and I am just being silly.” It was a standard Paris family answer, word for word that she had given to her father, brother, and more than a few captains along the way. When you couldn’t get through to the other person, stop trying. She even accompanied it with that little insincere smile that made her look demure and compliant. Funny how some habits never died for a reason.

The EMH leaned in closer to Rita and took her hands in his and spoke softly. "Rita... Look... I get it. You're worried. Scared even. The captain can be scary. Your ECG is frankly at dangerous levels so I'm worried about you much more than her. I'm trying to calm you down but I guess I haven't been doing a very good job of it. I'm sorry. The truth of the matter though, is that you're talking to the wrong person. Nothing is going to get resolved until you and her sit down and talk it through. If you want me there as support, I will be, but the sooner the better."

The greatest psychologists of the age in his databanks and he doesn’t understand that women talk out their problems to figure out how to deal with them before facing them? Wow. Way to go Rita, pick yourself a winner. “I kinda thought I’d talk about it and try to process it first so I could understand how I felt and why I feel the way that I do. But you’re right, I’ll have to face her sooner or later. So great, good session,” she lied

A concerned look flashed across the Doctor's face. "I... Oh... That would have been a much better course of treatment, wouldn't it? Knowledge does not equal wisdom, and it seems I have a long way to go still when it comes to counseling, as well as social interaction. I feel I've let you down and I lack the wisdom to know what to do with that knowledge."

“Welcome to life,” Rita offered with a half-smile that was more an expression of chagrin than happiness, as she patted the holographic fellow on the shoulder.