A Second First Impression

Posted on Sat Nov 17th, 2018 @ 12:06am by Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Ensign Avendar Jurot

Mission: Escaped Pantheons
Location: Councilor's Office
Timeline: 2395, en route to the Galactic Core

As was her habit, Melanie Dox was a few minutes early for her appointment with the ships Councilor, Avendar Jurot and was spending those few minutes walking the deck to burn off her nerves. Dox had met with the Councilor on her first day aboard the U.S.S. HERA and it was not a meeting that she felt had gone well.

What the young Junior Grade Lieutenant didn't know then, was that the Counselor she had met was acting as an unknowing host for a cosmically endowed Titan that was firmly in charge. But since then, Dox had read the official reports of the calamity that had occurred during her first mission with the ship that had left Avender Jurot back in possession of her own mind and body, with no apparent memory of her time on board. As such, she felt it was appropriate to try meeting with the Councilor again for the first time, although she was still extremely nervous.

As she hovered near the door of the Councilor"s office, Dox realized her hemming and hawing outside was very likely pointless as Jurot was still a Betazoid and as such, very likely could sense that Melanie was hovering outside nervously. So she took a deep breath, lightly running her fingers over her ear, and pressed the pad outside the door, which let out a light chirp from inside.

"Come!" Avendar said. She was reading a PaDD with the record of her last meeting with Lieutenant Dox.

As the door slid open with a hiss, Dox stepped in, stopping about two steps in with her hands crossed in front of her, actively trying to not be stiff or too awkward looking. Dox was trying to relax and push past her anxiety around Councilors and so chose to be less formal then she been in their last meeting. "Hello, Councilor." But her lack of comfort in social interactions got the better of her and she couldn't think of anything else to say, standing in the doorway looking exactly as uncomfortable as she was feeling.

"Um... sorry. Uh... I'm... not good at this." Dox admitted, somewhat sheepishly.

Avendar smiled. "You're good at being you, lieutenant. In fact, you're the best Lieutenant Dox there is!" The counselor sat down in a chair next to a couch. It was a different chair than had been there, and a different couch. Obviously she'd redecorated a bit. "Please, sit down," she said, indicating the new couch.

Where Melanie Dox felt on guard and defensive when she first met who she thought was Avender Jurot, this time she just felt nervous and anxious, which still felt like a minor improvement to her as that was basically normal for her. She walked over and sat on the couch slightly at a bit of an attentive posture.

"Please relax if you can. I understand your apprehension," the Counselor said. "I'm nervous as well."

Immediately, Dox's anxiety turned into guilt as she didn't want to make the meeting any more awkward and felt like she was failing miserably. Rubbing the top of her ear nervously, she leaned forward, closed her eyes and took a deep breath to try and recentered herself and calm down a little. She exhaled slowly and opened her eyes back up, feeling the rush of emotion ebb a bit.

"Pardon me again. I just needed a moment to calm myself down. It's not you and I'm sorry." Melanie looked around the room for a moment, collecting her thoughts and working up her nerves. " I've... Not had a great history with therapists or counselors. And I still tend to overreact. Last time, I was shut down and defensive and now I'm overthinking everything to the point of... Almost panic. And I'm sorry. That's not fair to you." Dox smiled an awkward half-smile as the knot in her stomach began to untie a little more.

"Well, I understand that as well. So let's just get to know each other. I'm Avendar."

Feeling her footing beneath her more firmly, Dox finally began to relax. "Melanie. I'm Melanie."

"I'm still learning about this ship. It's nothing like my last one. What do you think of it, Melanie?"

"The Hera's... well... kind of amazing, so far." Dox lit up to talk about the ship she now called home. "I mean... It's my first assignment on an actual starship but it's just... So much more then I could've imagned. I mean, I've spent a lot of time in space but nothing quite like this. Maybe it's just being a pilot, but she moves like something alive sometimes. Like something born in space."

Then Dox stopped herself, realizing she was focusing on it just as a pilot and thought deeper. "But I guess, what's really been different is the crew. I've only been here a little while but it's... I feel..." She momentarily paused, feeling self conscious. "I never felt like I fit anywhere else before. It's... I like it here."

"I understand. I'm learning about the crew as well. Apparently I made a lot of people uncomfortable when..." Avendar shivered involuntarily, then composed herself. "I'm glad you like it here. Who has made a great impression on you?"

Fixating on the Councilor's first statement, Dox again felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. Even knowing that Avender Jurot had been possessed at the time of their first meeting, the Junior Lieutenant still felt partially responsible for how that first encounter went. But she chose to shift her focus back on the Councilor's question. "I was..." Melanie chuckled nervously. "I was kinda terrified of Lieutenant Commander Paris when we first met. I stumbled through the proper protocol for coming on board and she caught it and I freaked out a little. It was my literal first meeting with the first officer of my first starship commission and I forgot to ask for permission to come aboard." Melanie sat a bit further back in her seat, recalling that awkward first encounter, rubbing an ear nervously. "But she pushed me out of that headspace. And she's been pushing me out of my comfort zone since that first day." Dox's tone lightened as she spoke. "I think we're actually becoming friends. At least I hope so. I mean... She's a great commander... the best I've seen... but I like her too. And I really like Doctor Dael too. they shared their.. what do you call it... the melted cheese thingy... They shared some of that with me in Ten-Forward. Asa has so much energy and... positivity. I like talking with them "Melanie chuckled again at the memory, fondly. "They do most of the talking. I think this is the most talking I've done in one sitting since I got here, actually."

Avendar smiled. "Dr. Dael is wonderful. Perhaps I should try this 'melted cheese thingee.' It sounds yummy!" She leaned a little forward in her chair. "Lieutenant Commander Paris is the one who rescued me from captivity. Her record states that she's a century out of time. I think that explains why she has a refreshing candor." She raised her eyebrows. "Is your talking a good thing? Does it help?"

"It's not something I generally feel comfortable doing, so I guess it's a good thing that I am." Melanie half smiled, noting that her anxiety was largely gone for the moment.

"Expressing one's feelings is almost always a good thing," the counselor said. "You mentioned that you loved to pilot the ship. Can you tell me how it felt when you first piloted a ship?"

"First?" Dox quickly felt her anxiety creep back in. "The first time was... terrifying and liberating at the same time. I mean, I was barely 10 years old." She began rubbing the top of one ear again as her mind drifted back to her childhood. "I didn't want the responsibility of flying the ship we lived in... But it was also the first thing I had any control over in my life. That I was good at."

Avendar sensed the change in Dox's emotions. "You seem to be good at MANY things. Do you have any hobbies? I used to swim in the ocean often. The oceans are warm on my planet."

"I didn't learn to swim until I was at the academy, actually." Dox replied with a half smile, trying to pull herself out of difficult memories. "I have a little keyboard I got years ago, but I don't have much time to play."

"Keyboard? That's great! I'm sure there are other crew members who are musicians as well," the Counselor said. "You could be in a band, or not. Whatever makes you happy."

"Well..." Melanie shrunk slightly. "I... I don't... I've never played with anyone else. I've never... actually let anyone hear me play since... well, in years."

"I'll bet your keyboard playing is as exquisite as your piloting," Avendar said. "What else makes you happy?"

Letting out a slightly awkward laugh, Melanie responded. "I wouldn't say 'exquisite", but thanks." Then she paused to ponder the Councilor's question. "I... I don't really know. I mean... 'happy' hasn't been a big priority in my life."

"That's a common theme for beings in Starfleet. You're not alone," the Betazoid said. "We work so hard making sure others are happy, we forget to be happy ourselves. I have an idea! Technically, I go off duty in five minutes. Why don't we go to Ten Forward and see what kind of trouble is going on there? I'm still not sure of myself being alone, and I could use the company." She smiled.

"Uh... okay." Melaine was taken by surprise by the request and smiled somewhat awkwardly. "Yeah. I guess. We can do that right? Like, there's no rules against that or anything?" She was caught off guard and rambling but sincerely was relaxed and even a little bit excited at the prospect. " Sorry. I'm rambling."

"I don't know, but I don't see why we couldn't. After all, you outrank me. But I think it's ok," Avendar said.

Laughing just a bit, Melanie replied. "Sorry. I've had a few therapists in my life and I've never sociized with any, really. But yeah, that sounds... I don't know... Fun." She smiled with a slightly cock-eyed expression, much more comfortable with the real Avendar Jurot.

"We're aboard a starship. Counselors can socialize as long as we know where the line is drawn. Let's go get some melty cheesy things!," Avendar said.

"That sounds great." Dox stood up to head to Ten-Forward with the Councilor. The anxiety that normally lived in her belly was nowhere to be found for the moment, and that was good enough for her.