Where is My Mind

Posted on Mon Nov 26th, 2018 @ 2:57pm by Lieutenant Commander Sonak & Lieutenant Asa Dael & Emergency Medical Hologram (Adam Power) Mk X
Edited on on Mon Nov 26th, 2018 @ 11:38pm

Mission: Escaped Pantheons
Location: Sick Bay
Timeline: 2395 After Lunch With a Goddess

=^= Doctor Dael to Lieutenant Sonak- Sir, could you please join me in Sickbay at your next convenience? I could use your expertise. =^=

With the message sent to the resident expert on all things psionic, Doctor Dael sat nervously at their desk, ostensibly working on reports, but in truth just staring at a PaDD trying to look busy. Ever since Hera had “whammied” the young doctor with her mental capacities, Asa had an odd itching sensation in the back of their mind.

Most of what the crazed goddess had said did not make much sense, but Dael remembered hearing about latent psychic and temporal sensing abilities deep within their people’s DNA. They knew of one or two other El-Aurian’s that had shown such aptitudes, but had never had the opportunity to meet them personally. The vision Hera had shown had been full of beauty, but then Asa had almost died as a result of seeing it, so the doctor was trepidatious about looking into the ability any further on their own.

The response came a few seconds later.

"I shall be with you in fifteen point five minutes, Doctor."

“Emergency Medical Hologram, can you please join me if now is an acceptable time?” the doctor called. They had quit asking the computer to activate the program- that just felt rude to do to a complex being with their own wants and desires. Asa knew they would not be best pleased to have someone wake them up by bellowing “Activate Medical Doctor Asa Dael” and turning on all the lights in their quarters, and Doc Dael wanted to show the same level of kindness and courtesy to their holographic colleague.

Materializing after a few moments, the EMH skipped the usual canned greeting and picked up a random PaDD and pulled up a document he had been working on. "Good afternoon. I hope everything is going well for you?"

“Hello Doctor, I hope you are functioning in the manner you wish to. I’m sure you remember my recent run-in with Hera. I’ve invited Lieutenant Sonak to join us and help me more fully understand what may have done. Can you please perform baseline scans on me to establish my current cognitive process patterns and compare to the onboarding information sent over from the Academy?”

"Of course. It will only take a moment." Setting aside the PaDD, the EMH grabbed a tricorder and a neuroscanner from just outside Asa's office before beginning the scans, placing the neuroscanner on Asa's forehead and running the tricorder scanner as thoroughly as he could. "I believe I have all the data I need."

Sending that data to a nearby terminal, he pulled up the prior baseline next to the current one and ran a comparison. The computer didn't find anything out of the ordinary other than in her brainwaves, which were also nearly identical. Pulling them up, the EMH did a bit more study on the new results. "With the scanners we have available, the only differences I can see is your brainwave pattern having changed slightly. However, there's so little known about the El-Aurian mind to begin with, this could be stress induced. I've requested the computer search for any similar patterns or..."

Before he could finish, the computer gave a slight chirp and brought up a medical file for another El-Aurian. Then another. And another. In total, forty seven records were retrieved that showed similar patterns. "Interesting... These scans were all taken immediately after these people were rescued from the Nexus back in 2293."

Dael had their fingers steepled beneath their chin- a recent affectation to use when thinking instead of constantly wringing their fingers or rubbing at their neck as was their wont. The doctor had decided they were tired of looking like a fidgety child and was trying to not overcorrect, but at the same time find something to do with their blasted hands.

“Curious,” they replied, “Do we know anything about changes to cognitive ability in any of these individuals after leaving the Nexus?

"Nothing concrete, but I think..." Tapping one particular entry, the EMH brought it up. "This Guinan... Her records show she aided the crew of a Starfleet vessel a few times in unusual ways as a bartender over the years before retiring again. Then this Fontra... Same thing with a merchant ship."

Asa's jaw dropped. "Wait, GUINAN????" they asked incredulously. "She is basically the El-Aurian version of a superhero....even if most of us don't know much more than she kicked serious ass. There is no way in heck I'm strong enough to stand up to a Q. No way. Fontra I'm less familiar with...."

The doctor was all but slack jawed at the revelation presented to them by the EMH. They had thought minor sensory abilities, maybe the idea to pick up on patients better. Not...anything like this.

"Fontra is a tailor that made her mark in the mercantile business in a similar fashion to Guinan, it seems," replied the EMH


Precisely fifteen minutes, thirty seconds later, the door to sickbay wooshed open and the newly-minted chief science officer stepped in.

"How may I be of service, Doctor?

“Thank you for joining me, Lieutenant,” Asa replied, pointing towards an empty chair in front of their desk. “As you may be aware, Hera recently implied that I have activated latent psychic abilities of some kind through my recent brush with death. She sought to stabilize me and show me the nature of these abilities, but further compromised my life-force, in the end savings me from another certain doom with an infusion of her own energy.

“The full report is here,” they advised, handing over a PaDD with all available details loaded. “The Doctor is helping me monitor what we are able to of changes in brainwave activity, and I was wondering if you would have the ability to further help us research the nature of what these changes may be, if any, given your advanced mental abilities.”

"I would have to study this data thoroughly before making a hypothesis," the Vulcan said glancing briefly at the PaDD with obvious interest. "However, there is also another method which would be much faster; and could make me as cognizant as you of the situation; a mind meld."

He looked at the doctor inquiringly, attentive to any reaction. Then he went into more detail.

"You should be made aware, however ,that a mind meld is not like a standard telepathic contact; a conversation between minds. It is a total,deep and complete fusion of two minds. Essentially, we would become as one being. We would share all our life experiences at the speed of thought; you would be initiated into the most fundamental principles of Vulcan logic and I would even experience your emotions."

He paused to reflect a moment before continuing.

"Your mind might not retain much of it, especially if it is the first time for you; although I do not know the impact on an El-Aurian's mind, as it has never been attempted on one of your people before, as far as I know. But I would retain all of it. Therefore, if you have things you would not want to be known or shared with another being,this seemingly easier and faster method would not be proper."

He looked at the doctor with his grey eyes straight into the El-Aurian's owns.

"I hypothesize that you contacted me because of this option. But I want you to evaluate all that this would imply for you."

The doctor sat thoughtfully for a moment. They had considered a mind-meld, but did not want to outright suggest such a thing. That would be far too personal to request, but if Sonak was willing, Asa would do much to obtain answers.

“I guess that’s the advantage of being young… I’ve haven’t had a chance to do too much I horribly regret. There are moments of sadness and anger you will see, but I’m sure you have experienced such from others in the past. I feel compelled to ask… is this safe for you? Does your mind possess safeguards in the event Vulcan and El-Aurian are not compatible?”

"Any endeavor implies risks," he stated flatly. "That being said, the Vulcan mind has natural defenses evolved over millennia of telepathic aptitude. All Vulcans learning to mind meld also learn failsafes and how to erect layers of barriers that even a Klingon mindsifter can not penetrate. Furthermore, achieving Kolinarh as I have expand this knowledge to a point that even the most powerful Betazoid would not be able to touch my mind unless I allowed it. And being purged of all emotions, your own feelings will not adversely affect me, which is what Vulcans usually find difficult to face. Let me further reassure you; I was once the host of the mind of a telepathic being so powerful it could exert it's power across the galaxy. I emerged of the experience drained but otherwise unscathed. Therefore, with all this in mind, I consider any risk here reasonably low."

He was careful not to mention that the being he was talking about had been a Talosian. Such knowledge was the most highly classified of all; General Order 7, the only remaining death penalty left in the Federation, would hang over the head of the good doctor should the El-Aurian ever know the details beyond Starfleet orders. He thus made sure to compartmentalized his whole experience of it in a part of his mind the meld would not allow Dael to be aware of.

For Dael's own sake.

Feeling much relieved, Asa considered another moment.

“OK, I trust your judgement. But just in case I throw a fuse or something myself, do you have any objections to the Doctor monitoring the process?”

"Most wise, Doctor Dael; let us proceed as you see fit. I will comply with your instructions and offer any help relevant."

As he said so, the Vulcan joined his hand as if washing them deliberately, then sat before them.

Dael took a few deep breaths, emotionally steeling themself for what was to come and replied simply, "Whenever you are ready, so am I. Doctor, please monitor vitals on both of us and alert the Lieutenant if you see any danger signs."

Delicately, Sonak brought the tip of his fingers of one hand to the left side of Dael's head. They slowly crawled the side of their jaw and skull, searching for nerve endings, finding nerve impulses, following synaptic signals, his own thoughts acting like eyes following individual letters to form words and understand sentences. He did not utter the usual 'my mind to your mind' mantra familiar to non-Vulcans. The El-Aurian had a powerful, well-structured mind, a focused will and a willingness that made contact almost instantaneous.

On the EMH monitor, there was a swift confusing of both cerebral waves, like two rivers meeting to create a larger, more powerful one. It was not two separate minds synchronizing but a new mind, made of both individual signals totally fused into one. The doctor's heart beat faster as Sonaks slowed down, but seeking equilibrium between the joined entities.

At this moment, on the psychic level, Dael and Sonak were one single entity. On the physiological level, their bodily functions synchronized as if the heart of one pumped the blood of the other, one's lungs giving air to the other. On the sensory level, they were alone together, with their senses multiplied by those of the others, giving a strange impression of looking into a mirror with a slightly different image and from the inside. On the physical level, only Sonak's fingers moved slowly across the El-Aurian's skull as if they each had a life of it's own. When their thoughts came, be they from one source or the other, they spoke together.

The portion of the mind originating from Asa dove straight in to the heart of the matter, bringing up memories of their encounter with Hera and focusing on what it felt like when her energy flowed into them.

"She showed me the ebb and flow of space and time. I felt the way things are, and could sense things that should not be. The color and swirl of energy and life threatened to consume me...."

Sonak followed their thoughts and feelings like a pond reflecting the light of the full moon.

"The universe can only be what your mind can make of it. Your mind is of the universe. Feel the link between the two; accept it; follow it. In the universe you will find yourself; in yourself you will find the universe. All that you have, all that you want, all that you need, you may find in both."

The panic seemed to recede from Dael’s voice. The calm energy of Sonak flowed into them, allowing them to stop and look at the images they had seen with Hera, but from a more objective viewpoint.

“The eddies of causation swirl. I am of the universe and outside of it. I see it and I change it. I see myself and I change myself. Action turns to consequence to causation to impact back to action. All things change. There is… life… all around me,” the doctor intoned.

"You are life. Life is you. Your life is your own. Your mind is your own. Your mind is what directs what you do, what you think, what you are what you live. Control is yours."

Sonak's own thoughts tried to guide them without directing them. Their minds were intertwined, but he would not interfere in what Dael's mind would choose. Like the clouds, it only made the wind be seen. it was up to them to fly or not with it and find what was beyond the horizon.

The doctor allowed themself to see the moment where they began to fade in memory. They saw the swirl of psionic energy ebb from them and return back to Hera. Dael perceived how they could have refilled the energy in their mind had they known the way, and saw how Hera drew actively from the environment around her at all times.

Flash forward past their plea for help to Hera for assistance, Asa saw as Hera drew in all available energies and flooded them into the doctor’s form. Asa felt the universe shift to allow the goddess to begin to fade from existence, the ether allowing entrance to her. Then, when Paris spoke, a spark of resolution formed in Hera, growing to the point to allow her remain on this plane. Dael felt the veil of this reality warp, sealing itself once more. They gained the slightest peak at what lay beyond that veil, and how it could be moved with sufficient will and energy.

A resonance formed in the doctor’s mind through all of this, a growing sense of the psionic and ethereal energies surrounding them even now. For the first time since awakening after surgery, Asa understood the constant thrum deep in the recess of their mind. It was… the universe. The ebb and flow of it, the unseen eddies of energy, the way it could all be shaped- or obliterated.

“It’s all so… tenuous,” was all the doctor said.

Sonak had broken contact. There was a lingering effect in both their minds, an echo of the other fading rapidly from conscious thought. He nodded to Dael.

"Indeed; like air is to breathing, heat to touch, light to sight. But it is there, nevertheless, just as tenuous... and essential. Now you have sensed it, and it is indeed strong now in you, since your inward contact with a cosmic entity. This is the connection of all living things to reality. Some like Vulcans and Betazoids are naturally more aware of it than others. Some humans too, while others completely ignore it. But there are disciplines, techniques and exercises to strengthen and in some cases harness this connection. If you so wish it, I can share what I know, and teach you to explore your own potential."

Asa was somewhat stunned. The intensity of sensation from during their connection was fading, but a residual sense of what they saw remained. Enough to encourage them to continue to learn more.

"Yes, please, I would like that," Dael replied.

The EMH was hovering over the two of them with a tricorder. "I hope the two of you learned something, because all I learned is that I don't like Vulcan mind melds. Monitoring the integration of two minds like that is extremely nerve wracking, especially when you don't know if there are signs to look out for."

"Then you have starting material to work on an interesting study I would say," the imperturbable Vulcan told the artificial doctor.

He then turned back to the biological medical officer.

"We could make up a schedule mutually convenient and start with basic Vulcan psionic training. But I could already show you the fundamentals of Vulcan meditative techniques aimed at this objective. As they are initially designed for Vulcan children, they should be quite easy for you to grasp even if you are not Vulcan and prove just as useful."

"Thank you, that would be great," Asa replied, then turned to the EMH and said, "Thank you for your help, it was a relief to know you were here. You are welcome to observe if you like, or if you have other places to be, perfectly understandable. I'm sorry to stress you out, I guess that's how we learn though, right?"

"Indeed it is. Though I've seen similar records, having witnessed it now with my own eyes... I feel almost... Inspired?" The EMH picked up a PaDD and started tapping at it. After a moment, he finished and just stared at it. "I believe my program may have grown beyond its initial programming because of this experience. I'm not programmed to write poetry, but I just did... It's probably just a glitch." Setting the PaDD aside, he returned to reviewing the tricorder readings. "Both of your brainwave patterns have returned to their prior states."

"There is no recorded after-effects of a mind meld unless it is frequently done between the same persons a certain number of times within a short time span," Sonak assured them both. "Even shared knowledge is not often retained by the untrained mind."

He focused on Dael.

"You will find in the computer library much information about Vulcan meditative techniques and some studies on psionic training. I suggest you familiarize yourself with the basics as a professional of medicine, and confirm there would be no adverse effect on someone of your species; and if so, how to compensate prior to our first session together."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I will review the data and alert you to my findings," the doctor replied.

"And Doctor, I would love to share in your poetry if you would like to share. I am excited for you finding growth, I understand you were hoping to continue to do so. I'm proud to have been part of that," they spoke, affection apparent in their voice.

"Ah... Well, if you insist..." Blushing slightly, the EMH handed over the PaDD with the short poorly worded poem about brainwaves converging in sickbay.

Sonak stood hands behind his back. he gave a nod of acknowledgement to the sentient artificial lifeform then turned his grey eyes towards the chief medical officer of the Hera.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, Doctor Dael?"

"No, that is all, thank you Lieutenant," Dael replied.

After reading the short attempt at poetry, Asa replied to the EMH, "I think it's lovely. You should be proud."

 

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