Inner Mind

Posted on Sat Dec 1st, 2018 @ 12:21am by Ensign Avendar Jurot & Lieutenant Commander Sonak

Mission: Escaped Pantheons
Location: Counselors office
Timeline: Before reaching ribbon

"Thank you for coming, Lieutenant Sonak," Chief Counselor Avendar Jurot said. "I'd like to ask you a personal favor if I may."

Sonak had been taking the whole office of the counselor in with a wide sweep of his grey eyes with curiosity. As a Vulcan, not to mention a totally emotion-free kolinarh master, he was exempted from mandatory counselling and in many decades of service in Starfleet never felt the need for such services. In his earlier life back in the 23rd century, the position did not even exist yet aboard Starfleet vessels. So he had not yet seen much of the chief counselor of the Hera, except in general staff meetings and the after mission meet and greet of the captain. This meeting was thus a first experience for him and he was understandably curious.

Nothing in his voice betrayed his surprise. Bur Jurot's greeting however sent his left eyebrow up.

"Greetings Counselor. I come to serve. How may I be of service?"

"I've been having... trouble with my empathic and telepathic abilities since my imprisonment," Avendar said. "The Vulcans I've served with at DTI and on the Nobel were talented psychics." She sighed slightly. "I know it is asking a lot, but I was hoping you could use your abilities to see if Gaia left some kind of psychic "block" behind when she was removed. The mental exercises I've been using should have produced better results by now."

She stood six feet away from Sonak, with a desperate air that she tried to hide.

"With all due respect to my fellow Vulcans, I must point out that I am kolinarh; which I doubt any of them were as I am to my knowledge the only one presently not on Vulcan. As kolinarh, I have gone beyond even the perfect emotional control of my kind. I was also born with what has been called the most powerful psychic ability since the times before the Awakening. Thus I dedicated since infancy a lifetime to master all the mental disciplines of my people. Although in your universe I have lost a great deal of my natural abilities, i have lost none of my knowledge and experience. i can assure you this knowledge and experience are way beyond what even my own masters had."

This was not the first time aboard the Hera he had to recall his unique experience with the Talosians; an experience that would call up Starfleet General Order 7 upon the head of the Counselor would she ever be made aware of it. As he spoke, Sonak added new layers of mental barriers and a psychic labyrinth to make sure that even the most powerful Betazoid could not have even a hint of it. He was here to help, not to have her found what she was not yet allowed to know and risk facing the only death penalty left in the Federation.

The steel of his grey eyes never flickered from Jurot's own.

"This is not boasting; I am simply stating facts. I think I could prove helpful to you in the situation you are presenting. I have in the past helped many psionicists to explore and master their gifts. That was in fact my vocation before I decided to join Starfleet. If you have not the expected results of your own well proven techniques, it is safe to hypothesize that there is indeed something to inquire about. If you so wish, I could induce a mindmeld and together we could look into it."

"I used to be a noted telepath among my people, but nothing like Gaia bragged she could do," the Counselor said. "Even if I never regain all my abilities, I'd like to know why." She indicated two chairs set near each other. "I consent to the mind meld."

"Very well."

Sonak sat in front of her, rubbing slowly his hands and concentrating to order his mind for the unusual probing he was about to do. It was his very first time with a betazoid and he was curious about what this experiment would teach him as much as not knowing if he could really be of help.

They sat close to one another as the Vulcan delicately put the tip of his fingers on several nerve endings on the side of her face and skull, then the other. For a moment, he had to search for them as, despite their very human appearance, Betazoid neural physiology was different, the product of a different evolution. but once he found the neural connections, the mental contact was so easy and clear, he would not have had the time to articulate the standard ritual phrasing even if he had wanted to.

In an instant, their minds were joined and they were one entity speaking through two mouths as they explored the inner ebs and flows of Jurot's thoughts, feelings and memories, but most of all the reefs and barriers that could itnerfere with them.

Avendar disabled her psychic defenses to the Vulcan. She'd never experienced a mind meld before, but it reminded her of the link she once had with her Izmadi.

"There are two memory caps... of Starfleet origin..." both said. They encountered a large void space where Gaia's essence once was implanted.

Sonak found the meld to be easier even than with most Vulcans, such was the nature of the Betazoid mind, despite the emotional content weighting the thought processes. They had located the center of the mental activity they were inquiring about and he guided Jurot straight at the heart of it.

"In the realm of the living mind, there is no void," they both said together. "Light the darkness to see what truly lies within."

"The darkness resists us" they said.

"There is no darkness to the mind's eye."

It came from Sonak although they spoke it simultaneously. Just as for comatose people or those afflicted on his homeworld by Bendi Syndrome, he was able to strengthen the cerebral connections and fire them up again in an ordered pattern, reconstructing thoughts and memories, controlling emotions and focusing perceptions inward. between Vulcans, this could be done even without actual physical contact; with the much more powerfully telepathic betazoid mind, it was even easier and having physical contact gave them both a mental strength that could sort-circuit even a Klingon mind sifter.

Like a guide in a darkened forest taking her by the hand, the Vulcan moved deeper with her, sharing his emotionless strength with her own powerful telepathic ability.

The Betazoid's intuition, bolstered by the Vulcan's kolinarh discipline, caused a sudden insight! "Oh course, we're not seeing the forest for the trees!" The Betazoid guided the Vulcan out of the Darkness, then followed a "tendril."

"We saw the darkness as as the impediment- it isn't. It is a remnant- like the fang of a Tiberian bat removed too quickly, or a Terran wasp stinger!" They followed the tendril into the Betazoid's "autonomic centers, where it connected.

"When Hera removed Gaia, she didn't know of this "sac" containing Gaia's essence, and since she removed it so quickly, it stayed here. It's an empty void, connected to the Betazoid senses and functions, where Gaia 'lived' within the Counselor! And as Gaia's power... if Hera attempted to remove this like she offered, the Betazoid would've died instantly!"

The Vulcan's logic permeated her.

"You have the answer. Therefore, you have found the way."

"But is there a way to disconnect the tendril, and reduce or remove the darkness?"

Their thoughts found an echo in their voices.

" Your will is what commands everything in your mind. Your will is your tool. You will is your light. My will can help you hold and shine your light through the darkness. Our wills can join and sever any restraint within you."

And as the thought went from one mind to the other, the disciplined, steady will of Sonak joined the powerful, sensitive will of Jurot, like two blades of a scissor closing on what restrained the secrets in her mind.

"Look closely- the darkness is... also some form of gateway?"

"Of course. Gaia's method of joining. It is logical."

"The tendril attaches here and here. Our Betazoid mind is not disciplined enough to detach it."

"Our will is now one. We have the will. We have the way. But a gateway should not be collapsed; it should be used. We may detach; we should not break. Not condemn the passage; give access. Control. Gain control."

"We are afraid."

"Fear is the expectation of things yet not real. Reality is not to be feared. It is to be faced. fear is like the darkness of eyes closed. We will open our eyes. The darkness will be gone. The fear will be gone. We will look. We will see. We will face."

The logic of the emotionless kolinarh master asserted itself to the acute intelligence of the Betazoid. His own body control fused with the sensitive physiology of the other through the physical contact of the mind meld, regulating as one singular entity the flow of hormones, the rhythms of lungs and hearts, the pressure of blood and nerves. The were one not only in spirit and mind but in body as well. Through their joined bodies, they steadied their thoughts.

"The tendrils connections are... remarkably simple when one sees through the deceptions," they said. "We can focus..."

Sonak applied his decades of meditative techniques to their meld, providing Jurot with as much concentration of perception, clarity of thought and focus of intent as a Vulcan could, while keeping her emotional state in balance with his own emotionless mind. Through their fusion, he made her a kolinarh master.

It was up to her now.

Focus. Focus. See that which is. First connection, dissolved. Second connection, dissolved. Third... third...

The counselor screamed in pain.

So did Sonak. then instantly his Vulcan self control asserted itself. The pain centers of his brain were shut off and the mental command was shared to those in the Betazoid's mind fused to his through the mind meld. So sensitive was the telepath's own psyche that it erased all feelings of pain almost as fast as in Sonak's mind. All that was left was the remembrance of the pain; an echo now only hurting her emotional sensitivity.

The kolinarh master, devoid of any emotion, could do nothing else but let her ride this final wave of her feelings to rest on the beach of his calm, composed mind. Only when she was again back at rest did he terminate the meld.

The Counselor looked around the room. "What happened?"

"You were in pain," Sonak reminded her. " This place of shadow within your mind is resisting your consciousness.This may be a protective measure of your inner self."

Avendar's eyes opened very wide, as if startled awake. She looked at Sonak, then around the room, and smiled broadly. "I can sense you! I can sense... they're back! I'm back!"

She enthusiastically hugged Sonak, then withdrew. "Sorry, I was carried away by joy!"

Sonak straightened his uniform then crossed his arms behind him.

"Think nothing of it, Counselor. I am married to a Human female. I have... extensive experience with emotional outbursts. I can manage."

His steely grey eyes looked at her a moment before he spoke again.

"According to your own words, it appears this experience resulted in positive results. I am gratified to have been of help to you."

"Yes, it has," Avendar said. "Thank you so very much."

He nodded to her.

"I come to serve. It was an... intriguing experience. I come out all the wiser from it. The... darkness is still there; but you should be able to deal with it now in your own way.Do not hesitate to call me again if there is further need "

"As I am here for you," Avendar said. "And Sonak... I'll take your secret to the grave." She smiled warmly.

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow.

"I... appreciate the thought. However, I am not aware of any... secret needing to be protected."

"Of course not," the Betazoid beauty said.

Sonak nodded to her in parting. But even when he stepped out of the room, face frozen and hands behind his back, his right eyebrow was still way up.