Girl Talk, Pirate Style

Posted on Thu Nov 29th, 2018 @ 10:33pm by Commander Rita Paris & Baroness 2nd Class Schwein von Alcott

Mission: Escaped Pantheons
Location: USS Hera, corridors of Deck 8
Timeline: 2395, en route to the Galactic Core

In a lifetime of experiences, urging a friend to go tackle a god to engage in lovemaking because the opportunity presented itself was a new one on Rita Paris. Yet she had, and off had gone the Baroness von Alcott, literally carried away by the actual factual god of thunder, Thor himself.

Which was the universe in which the extradimensional explorer had found herself, and she had, as she tended to do with most such developments, gone with the flow. Orders had been issued to Doc Dael to check in on Seregon French, as a mortal woman who had challenged a god to a night of passion, and been accommodated. Thor's legend lent itself to the impression that he was mighty, and the mightiest of the valkyries Hildr had recommended that the human woman might need some 'patching'.

The Baroness, on the other hand, was no mere human woman, but a superhuman. Whose problem in love was that she was too mighty in her amorous affections for mortal men to withstand her. Which was why Paris had practically thrown her into the fray, with the Captain's help. The woman was lonely, and she had a lot to give. Where better than the arms of Thor, who had been handsome and charming- who knew? Von Alcott was cheerful and inclusive and willing to meet people on their own terms. Rita liked the woman and admired her, and she wanted her to know some happiness.

Or pursue a fantastic destiny. Because that was also the universe in which Rita Paris lived, because that was any universe she happened to be in at the moment.

All of which led to her current course of action.

Sensors said she was in her VIP quarters, so standing outside the billet assigned to the Baroness, Paris spoke to the overhead. "Computer, please announce my presence at the door to the Baroness, and request that she join me in the corridor."

=^= Complied, Commander =^=

"Thank you, Computer." Paris leaned against the door frame, waiting for it to open with a half-smile on her face. Good news good news come oooooon universe good news!

Getting the message, the Baroness downed the rest of her juice and tonic and wondered if she could eat the rest of her breakfast before opening the door. Sighing, she decided she couldn't and just left it for now, instead grabbing her dress jacket with all the tassels and tossed it over her bare shoulders as she walked to the door in a sports bra and her normal light grey dress pants.

Opening the door, she peeked outside. "Ja? Rita?"

"I've... come to check on you?" Rita distracted herself with the data on the tablet she held up close to her face. "According to ship's records, you came back aboard at 06:45, and you've been 4 hours, which seems to be a sleep period for you according to your standard movement pattern of record around the Hera." Putting the PaDD down, the first officer looked a bit embarrassed. "While you aren't a part of the rank structure, you're still a member of the crew. So I'm letting French sleep, but I've come to make sure you are... okay, good, all right...?"

The big blue eyes of the earth girl sought out out the one rust-colored eye of the Artan fleet pirate captain, with concern and hope in her eyes.

Shwein glanced up and down the corridor a couple times, then pulled Rita into her quarters before closing the door. "I was just eating some breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day, ja?" Tossing her dress jacket back over a chair, it revealed some rather vigorous marks on the Baroness's back revealing just how far their lovemaking had gone. However it seemed to just be red marks and not bruising, so that was good.

Then Schwein glanced to Rita with a grin. "I am fine. Thor... I might have worn him out after Seregon passed out. She should be... Well enough... Join me for breakfast?"

A grin broke out over the face of Rita Paris, spread there by the fact that her friend was all right and apparently had a great time. As she stepped into the Baroness' quarters, she moved to settle in for breakfast. "I'd love to. Computer, please make me a coffee, black, sweet, and a plain fresh bagel."

The hum of the replicator indicated where it was, so Rita grabbed her coffee and nosh, dropped her generous ass into a chair and blinked expectantly. "So, I don't want to pry but I am dying to know...?

"That he has a massive schwanzstücke and knows how to use it?" Punching up another Juice and tonic, Schwein returned to her breakfast. "He made me squeal like a pig in heat and Seregon... Like a horse? I run out of animal sounds fast, I think... But he pounded us both like very bad steel on an anvil for a long time. Then I got seconds." Grinning wider, she stabbed one of her sausages and bit into it savagely.

The peerless first officer literally squealed. "I am so proud of you! You reached over and grabbed him and hauled the god of thunder off the ground to smooch him! That was by definition one of the most epic things I have ever seen. And you went off and had a great night- yay!" Paris' enthusiasm was oddly like that of a teenager, but she was genuinely overjoyed for her friend.

"It was epic. Nothing in the legends prepares you for something like that." The Baroness finished up her sausage and went after her hard boiled eggs next.

"So... what now? Did you exchange comm digits, did he say anything, are you gonna see him again?" Paris took a generous bite out of the tasty bagel, chewing in anticipation. After all, Rita was nothing if not a romantic, and this was better than any telenovella romance.

"I um... No, not exactly..." Schwein drank a bit of her juice and tonic before clarifying. "We're going to write to each other for now. When the ravens feel like delivering messages, that is. They don't use the same comm systems we do, after all."

Swallowing her mouthful of bagel, Rita pressed on, undeterred. "Still, he wants to stay in touch, that's good, right? I mean... Thor? And he, like, lived up to it..."

"Yeah, I've seen enough people beg for their lives that I know when men are sincere." The Baroness paused a moment, a hard boiled egg speared on her fork, mid air. "That came out wrong, ja?"

"It... kinda did, yeah. So, congratulations on finding someone mighty enough to withstand your amorous attentions," Rita laughed, taking a swig of her coffee. "So, just to come clean, the big valkyrie was telling us that Thor hasn't been with anyone in... a while. They've all been trying to find him a gal so that he will take the throne, but he wasn't interested in any of the locals. Then you came along..."

"And you think I might be able to be his queen, ja?" Schwein shook her head as she munched on the last of her breakfast.

"Ye-e-e-e-es...?" Rita admitted, then she launched into her excited pitch. "You are legendary in your own right, and you fit in easily with those mythological types. You already have one eye, the other having been surrendered for wisdom- which you have with that tricroder on your brain. Among the Aseir you're with people who are strong and durable like you. You aren't alone in a very fragile world with we fragile people. Plus, I mean, you did go back for seconds. Pen pals does look like the start of something promising. So yeah, why not Queen von Alcott on a throne next to Thor, Lord of Asgaard. I mean, the idea does hold some appeal for you, right?"

"I don't know... I owe the Artan family quite a lot, still. Who will replace me as adjutant? Baron Flan von Caramen is covering for me for the third fleet as it is and if I go off and get married..." Schwein's brow was furrowed as she ran her left hand through her silver hair. "It is appealing though."

"Talk to the Princesszen about it. She's known you for most of her life- I think if this is something that you want, she'd be happy for your happiness. And not like the Asgaardians make terrible allies. 'My former adjutant sits at the right hand of the throne of the Aesir' isn't a terrible claim to be able to make for a pirate fleet." The minidress model paused, taking a bite of her bagel and chewing it before making an admission. "I would miss the hell out of you Baroness, and that's the honest truth. You've been a good friend to me, and I'm damn fond of your company. But it would make it a lot better if I missed you because you were out there boning Thor. I am a very firm believer that a healthy sex life does wonders for your mental stability and clarity."

"And that was the best I've ever had." Sighing heavily, the Baroness had to admit it. It was a very appealing thought. "Ok, I'll at least consider it. And discuss it with the Princesszen. Their politics are complicated though, and it may take my entire lifetime."

"Then you'll have time to travel and visit and regale us with tales and get pulled into misadventures with your old friends. Or come visit us on Earth and tell our kids genuine space pirate stories- well, the kids we're planning to have. They might be a tough audience, come to think of it." Rita snapped out of the segue she had begun to smile brightly at the Baroness.

"In this lifetime, opportunities come into play. If you pass them by, they may become one of your greatest regrets. Or sometimes they go disastrously wrong, in which case you give a shout, we'll come a-running, aye?" The old-school Starfleet officer pointed her finger at the broad-minded buccaneer to emphasize her statement. "Point is, this.... this is a rare opportunity, my friend. Wahhhhhhl, the rare opportunity was the threesome with French and a god, but to build an actual relationship with him... that might just be epic, Baroness."

"Ja, it is epic." The Baroness couldn't help but grin and blush before turning to a bore serious topic. "But what if he wants an heir from me? That is something I cannot give him. I was augmented too far and..."

“Okay, first, I am by no means a xenobiologist, although I do share a mind with one pretty often. But I have read up on mythology a bit since this started, and I don’t know if your infertility is necessarily an issue, there. Loki boned a horse and made Sleipnir. That’s not biologically possible, yet there it is. So maybe before you decide what is possible and impossible when it comes to Norse gods, you might want to have a conversation with Doc Dael?” The tone wasn’t remonstrating not harsh- if anything, Paris’ statement was hopeful.

"Loki is also a woman," Schwein replied flatly. "A trisexual female shapeshifter that was raised as a man, to be precise. Of course she gave birth to an eight legged horse. It's Loki."

“Fine, you win, there’s no hope for it, may as well give up now and forget the whole thing.” While her response surprised her somewhat, Rita had finally reached the point of being worn down by working so hard to convince people to have a little hope, only to encounter constant arguments to the contrary. "Whatever. Sorry I tried. I'll butt out now.”

"No, it just means we would have to find an heir elsewhere." The Baroness thought for a moment, finishing her juice and tonic. "Perhaps French is pregnant?"

"That's between her and Doc Dael. I would think that was a probable outcome, but you're the expert, so I yield to your opinion on that one." Rita had wanted to celebrate and help her friend plan for the future, but this was pushing the stone uphill. The Baroness was a grown woman perfectly capable of choosing her own destiny, and Rita didn't need to talk her into anything. Rising with a sigh, the first officer returned the mostly uneaten bagel and coffee to the replicator.

"So... Asgardian wedding dresses are spun from silken gold." Schwein pondered this for a few moments. "Plus I apparently need to challenge Freya to a duel. That shouldn't be too hard. She just leads the Valkyr. As a competent warrior, that's one area I have complete confidence in."

The anachronistic astronaut half-turned, as a suspicious smile played across her face. “If you are thinking of wedding vows and duels with goddesses, does that meant that you are taking this seriously and actually considering it?”

"Well... They plan this sort of thing decades in advance..." The Baroness gave her friend one of her mischievous grins. "If I want at least a shot, I'd better at least start plotting, hadn't I?"

“If they take decades for this sort of thing, it sounds like they really need an infusion of mortality to stop dragging their feet and get with the times,” Rita offered, clapping the pirate captain on the shoulder.

"I can think of no one better suited to such a task as the Baroness von Alcott!”