Meditations

Posted on Wed Jan 9th, 2019 @ 7:14am by Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Baroness 2nd Class Schwein von Alcott

Mission: Section 31-B
Location: Crew Quarters, Deck 8
Timeline: 2396

It had been days since Melanie Dox mind melded with the HERA's Vulcan science officer, Lieutenant Sonak. The meld was to help her mentally and emotionally process the damage that had been done to her mind by the god Anansi, and to help her reconcile the damage done to her body as a child at the hands of her father.

Sitting on the floor in her sparesly appointed senior crew quarters, the young Junior Grade Lieutenant was relaxed, focusing on the flame of the small Vulcan brazier Lieutenant Sonak had given her for this purpose. Her breathing was slow and steady and her room was completely quiet, but for the ever present hum of the Nebula-class Starships warp engines.

She had been told that the effects of a mind meld would often fade within a few hours at the longest after the connection was severed. But Melanie found that she still retained a strong echo of the event and that through meditation, the emotional clarity Sonak had helped her see as a possibility became easier to remember. Perhaps, Sonak pondered, that it was the physical make up of Melanie's mind that was helping her hold on to the positive effects of the meld as she was Romulan on her mother's side. Romulans were, after all, a sister race that splintered off from Vulcan generations ago. But it left the two peoples with essentially identical biologies.

Regardless of why she retained such strong memories of the mind meld, Melanie was determined to continue to work on it. The meditation technique was one that Sonak had been teaching her to help her strengthen her mental diciplines and her mental defenses. The invasion into her mind had been extremely traumatic and she was determined to do whatever she could to keep it from happening again.

In these meditations, she also sought to add clarity to the memories she had all but forgotten from her early childhood. And in the moment, as she breathed softly, a face came to her in the calm darkness of her own mind.

It was a Romulan man, maybe 45 years old. He was somewhat handsome, but with a weariness about the eyes. She could see her was wearing a Romulan uniform, and on the collar the insignia of the Tal Shiar. A Romulan intelligence force feared throughout the system. But the face didn't inspire fear in her memory, as it smiled softly down at her.

"Farewell, little Mnhei'sahe." The man said with a sad smile, speaking in Rihan, the Romulan language she had grown up speaking. It was her true name and upon hearing it again, she was taken out of her meditative state by the surprise of it.

The face was different, but familiar. Dox knew she had seen it before as her mind raced trying to remember. Then, as if opening a door to see an old friend, it came to her.

Standing up, she stepped over to the shelf across the room to replace the brazier, and after doing so she picked up another item. It was an identity card that read 'Baroness Fifth Class Melanie Dox of the Artan Family'. It had been given to her by Captain Telvan for a mission she had taken with the Captain and Baroness Schwein von Alcott. And it was there, when the trio had been at a secret auction off ship that she had seen that face.

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After a quick call, Dox threw her uniform back on and made her way down to Shuttlebay three, and the small Romulan ship that was kept there. The 'Fluffernuttenfaust' was the property of the Baroness Schwein von Alcott, and she was exactly who Dox hoped had the answer she was looking for.

Standing now just outside the open hatch of the refurbished Charon class shuttle, Dox called into the open hatch. "Lieutenant Melanie Dox requesting permission to come aboard."

Schwein had been doing some minor maintenance on her ship and generally been taking it easy since her recent traumatic injuries and had decided to take a break, having just poured a glass of Romulan ale and sat down in the small modified lounge. She'd been ordered to take it easy, but the trip with the Captain and Melanie had aggravated her injuries and she didn't exactly want to tell the ship's doctor about it so she'd been hiding out on her ship for a while, recovering. Since all the doors were open, it was easy to hear Melanie approach so when she called out, Schwein called back. "Permission granted! I'm in the lounge!" She then poured the Lieutenant a glass of the blue ale as well, just in case.

"It is good to see you again. Romulan Ale?" asked Schwein with a smile as she offered Melanie a glass as she came aboard. Instead of her normally elegant and regal outfits, she was in blue work clothes which had been stained with grease and her normal eyepatch was missing, her cybernetic eye glowing with a golden light.

As the anxiety that was her standard operating system had returned in full, Dox welcomed the offer and took the drink as she stepped in. "Thank you, I could certainly use some of the real stuff right about now."

Noticing that the Baroness looked a little tired and well aware of the injuries she was recovering from, Dox paused before drinking. "How goes the recovery?"

"Slower than I'm used to, but fast enough," Schwein replied with a soft smile. "Please do not worry yourself. I will be fine in time. I just won't be able to go fighting any Amazons any time soon, ja? Now please, relax, drink."

Smiling, Dox took a drink. Dox noticed the somewhat beautiful glow of the Baroness' cybernetic eye, which was a part of what she was there for. But she also didn't want to be overly rude to the friendly greeting in spite of her preoccupation.

"Nice. I have to remember you have the good stuff." The young part-Romulan who knew her Romulan Ale commented with a smile. "May I?" She gestured with the drink in hand to a free seat opposite the Baroness.

"Please, you are my guest." Motioning to the seat, Schwein leaned back in her own chair and sipped her own ale and relaxed. "It is a good day to rest, I think, ja? But you seem stressed over something. Is there something I can do for you?"

Sometimes it bothered Dox at just how clearly it showed on her when she was stressed or preoccupied, but she tried not to dwell on that. "Sorry, yes. I've... well I been... dealing with a lot of stuff lately." Dox didn't know the Baroness nearly as well as her other shipmates, so she felt a little reserved at first.

"To make an extremely long story short, I've had... Well... memories of things I forgot from my childhood brought to the surface lately." She nervously rubbed the edge of one of her cropped ears as she spoke. "And one of them... I'm hoping you actually might be able to help me with."

Her tone shifted to an apologetic one. "It's about... Well... And I am EXTREMELY sorry if I'm overstepping my bounds..." Dox took a drink to calm her nerves. "You used your eye to scan the room when we were at the auction. Does it... keep recordings of anything you see?"

For Schwein, Melanie was another sister in arms so even knowing little about her, with Enalia's trust in the woman, that was enough to place her full faith in Melanie's hands. "For a cycle or three. Sometimes I keep special recordings as well. Our recent adventure is one such recording."

Finishing off her ale, the golden eyed woman set aside her glass and grabbed a Romulan PaDD out of a wall alcove and started tapping at it, bringing up a copy of the recording in question. "My eyepatch blocks about eighty percent of what my eye can see to help reduce migraines. I had it off for most of the time there though. For... Intimidation..." Satisfied with the results, she handed it off to Melanie. "If there is someone you need more information on, you let me know."

Taking the PaDD in hand, the Romulan controls were second nature to her at this point. She was somewhat surprised at how readily such things she had thought forgotten were coming back to her. "Thank you."

She gave a glance at the Baroness as she spoke, thinking again that she found the golden glow of her eye far more interesting and even pretty rather than intimidating. But her focus was on the PaDD as she scrolled through the files, logged with time indexes.

"There was a Romulan male there. The one I mentioned got his pockets picked. About... 70 I would figure. And he..." Then the image came up on the screen and Melanie's eyes went wide.

"YES!! There he is!" She said, not noticing she had slipped into her native Rihan for a moment. "Sorry..." She corrected herself in English. "This is him. I... I KNOW him. From when I was a kid. He's different, but I KNOW I know him."

"I have done work with him, I think. He trades information, ja?" Grabbing another PaDD, Schwein started rifling through more old files, going back years looking for the guy until she found him again, this time up close and personal in a back alley dressed in a Tal Shiar uniform. Schwein handed this off to Melanie as well. "Same man, from when I joined the Artan Pirates."

The image matched the man in her mind, and she sat back in her chair in shock as a flood of memories entered her brain.

After a full half minutes just staring that the screen, Melanie spoke again. "Dralath... Dralath tr'Rul. I... remember him. He was with the Tal Shiar. But... he... something happened. He knew my mother, I think." The memories were still a jumble in her minds eye.

"What's the plan then?" Schwein sat there, half a grin, waiting and hoping they could go out and either find him or get Melanie's mother. "Whatever it is, I'm with you, Sister."

Sitting, somewhat lost in thought, the Baroness' words snapped her out of it. "Huh... Plan?" She let out a heavy sigh. "I have no idea, Schwein. I need to find out everything I can about him, do you have any file access?"

Schwein pulled out another PaDD and started pulling up even more data, the golden light of her cybernetic eye twinkling merrily as she worked. "I have access to Starfleet, Klingon, pirate, Cardassian, Ferengi... Many databases, many files... Ah, three matching records. Starfleet Intel, Ferengi Liquidations, and Tortuga Station." Making sure the files were copied to the PaDD securely, she handed that one over to Melanie as well, then refilled their glasses with more Romulan Ale. "I will need more PaDDs soon, I think, ja?"

Talking another drink, this time a longer swig, Dox looked at the PADDs intensly. For the slightest of moments, she was concerned that this might not be strictly within Starfleet regulations. But considering that she was sitting on a Romulan shuttle re-fitted by the Baroness docked in a secret shuttle bay on a starship headed by a Pirate queen, the thought left as quickly as it came up.

"It says here that he was a Tal Shiar investigator. He defected during the Reman occupation of the Senate and used the chaos to clear most of his records from Romulus. He's been dealing in black market information ever since. Officially, he's been off the grid for...about fifteen years."

Looking at the PaDDs, Dox looked forlorn and had a sad expression on her face. She let out a heavy sigh and cleaned off her drink. "Thank you. I really appreciate this. I just need to figure out what it all means, I guess."

"We could probably track him down at Tortuga station, if you want to visit there." Schwein finished her own glass again, then refilled both once more. "He might have some answers. He might also have trouble."

Melanie smiled at the Baroness' willingness to run off at a moment's notice to answer her questions. It was yet another example to the young Officer that the Hera was something special. "Thanks... but I think some of what I need is up here." She pointed to her head.

Letting out an awkward chuckle, Dox continued. "It's... Uncomfortable... knowing that you chose to forget parts of your own life because it was too hard to remember."

"Ja, this I understand well," Schwein chuckled softly as she sipped at her ale and leaned back in her chair, relaxing once again. "When I was growing up in the training camp my fellow orphans and I faced many ordeals, but now I look back on them and I do not remember most of them. I barely remember Dummerchen or Hahnchen or Motzen... Even though we shared so much together."

"I'm sorry." Dox replied. She didn't want to go into her own traumas as they felt insignificant in comparison. "They were your friends?"

"As much as anyone is when you are an orphan in a super soldier training camp." Shwein shrugged and took another drink of her ale. "We fought together and learned teamwork. We were indoctrinated together. We almost died together when the Syndicate attacked. I hear that you faced a much harder enemy though. Rather than scientists we hated, you had to combat yourself and your own parents growing up. I cannot imagine a worse foe."

Slumping slightly forward in her seat, Melanie took a breath. Part of her didn't want to call it all up again, as she had been making significant progress processing it all. But the Baroness seemed genuinely concerned. "It... was my father."

Dox paused for a moment. "He couldn't stand having a Romulan for a daughter. So, when I was barely five he... Kidnapped me. Took me from my Mother and had me surgically and genetically altered to seem more human. More like HIS daughter."

Rubbing and ear, she looked up and nodded at the Baroness as she spoke. "Had my ears cropped like a dogs. Had my... DNA altered to try an repress my own genes, which turned my blood to mud. And apparently I was awake when this happened... so I blocked it all out."

Taking a breath, Dox closed her eyes for a few seconds, thinking of the flame and her training from Sonak and she felt a center of calmness inside of her that she held on to as she opened her eyes. "My mother... she let me forget to spare me the pain. Stopped using my... my real name because it gave me flashbacks at the time. 'Melanie' was the closest human approximation my father called me and it's what stuck."

This was the first time Dox had thought of it as her real name and the idea was somehow empowering to her in that moment. Without being asked, she smiled at the Baroness and spoke again.

"It's Mnhei'sahe. That's my given name."

"It's a beautiful name, Mnhei'sahe." Schwein smiled softly, her German accent coloring the name a bit as she said it. "This explains your nervous habit of rubbing your ears at least. This may not be my place to say, but the Doctor is a skilled surgeon. They may be able to unravel your DNA and restore your original code and your ears. If you choose to do so. Your memories are your own to reclaim and I recommend you fight for them. No matter what you decide though, as your Sister in Arms, I will support you."

Holding up her arm, Dox pulled the sleeve back to show the veins in her wrist clearly. "Doctor Dael already corrected the DNA damage. It's been... weird watching my blood change colors in my own veins. Skins gotten a little thicker and changed color a little, too. It's taking some getting used to." She chuckled, with a little nervousness in her voice.

"I've been on the fence about... the rest." But the anxiety vanished as quickly as it arrived. Suddenly, the thought wasn't quite as frightening. "But thanks. I do appreciate the support." The smile on her face was warm and sincere.

"Maybe your anxiety will fade away as well, ja? Explains the odd scans when you entered. I thought it was nervousness and did not want to pry so I asked rather than scanned further." Schwein finished her drink and once again refilled their glasses with the good stuff. "Either way, you have something to celebrate I think."

Taking a drink, Dox thought on her words. It felt good to feel like another piece of the puzzle that was her past was in sight. She may have more questions than answers, but they were questions that kept her moving forward.