Official Concerns

Posted on Mon Jan 7th, 2019 @ 1:07am by Commander Rita Paris & Lieutenant Asa Dael

Mission: Section 31-B
Location: First Officers Office
Timeline: After Worldship

It was far too early in the day for the matter Doctor Asa Dael wanted to discuss with First Officer Commander Rita Paris. Too little coffee, combined with not enough sleep, had the young doctor feeling a bit run down, and the cause for the meeting was one they had lost sleep over already.

Ship’s Counselor Avender Jurot had been displaying troubling tendencies towards grandiosity in her behavior, and after a brief respite once Gaia allegedly left her mind, said behavior was about the only thing consistent about the woman. The doctor feared letting the crew speak to her on personal matters and wondered if some time for rest was what the counselor needed most….and perhaps a bit of therapy herself before returning to duty.

Dael had requested the meeting immediately upon returning from the Worldship, but allowing a day for everyone to rest up and recover was also important. They had hoped something in the mission reports from the surface would allay their fears regarding the counselor, but what little information they had been given did not seem to refute any notions already formed.

Taking a deep breath at Rita’s office door, the doctor pressed the chime to ask for entry, which immediately opened the door, as the friendly First Officer had her door set to open on request when she was in residence.

The office itself was already gaining a bit of clutter on the desk, as well as more images on the wall. The sterile nature of so many starships was not an aesthetic shared by Paris, who preferred for her space to be busy, cluttered and covered with mementos of past lives, past adventures and current friends.

Standing as the doctor entered, a genuine and brilliant smile graced the face of the first officer. Tall and curvaceous, the bright red minidress that was her trademark was immediately tugged back down into a range of slightly more decency. Offering her hand, the curvaceous commander waited for the ship’s surgeon to cross the distance of the spacious office.

“I’m assuming this is both official and important, Lieutenant Junior Grade Dael, or you would not have made an appointment,” Paris surmised.

Shaking the XO’s hand, Asa smiled warmly back. “I’m afraid so ma’am. I have some concerns about the Ship’s Counselor’s fitness for duty, and wanted to speak with you about what options we have to give Ensign Jurot a chance to heal from her ordeal, while still serving the crew’s counseling needs.”

Dael remained standing, waiting for an invitation to sit, and offered a PaDD summarizing their notes and data on the matter to Commander Paris. Taking the PaDD, Paris began to read it as she gestured to one of the retro plastic chairs opposite her triangular desk.

“Please have a seat, Myx Dael, while I read this over. Summarize for me, if you will, while I take in the particulars?” Sliding into her own seat, Paris’ eyes were in action reading over the physician’s detailed and professional report.

“Thank you ma’am,” Asa replied, taking their seat and thinking how peculiar that bygone era of décor was, and enjoying the unique look it gave the office.

“I was concerned about Counselor Jurot’s fitness for duty upon learning of the Gaia infestation. I made it a point in the following weeks, especially in light of our conversation regarding the urgency of her care, to watch for any other signs of changes in behavior. In short, there are none.”

After receiving an arched eyebrow from Rita that Sonak would have been proud of in reply, Asa continued, “Which is to say the same behaviors that led you to believe something was off with the counselor in the first place have continued. There was a brief period of abeyance in her grandiose claims and behavior, but we had a conversation prior to going to the Worldship wherein Counselor Jurot said she felt as if a god was trying to take her over. When I asked for her assistance calibrating a way to detect an incoming psychic onslaught to the ship following the events on the bridge, her readings were the same as they were prior to her infection with Gaia.”

“This would be good news, if the readings were not the same during her time with Section 31 as well,” the doctor continued, “Meaning there was never a change in mental patterns. We also observed her speaking to thin air on New Texas, and when I asked her to put a new though inside Ensign Vimes mind, as a way of getting readings for the testing I was talking about, she elected to put in a memory of herself and her Izmadi naked. Ensign Vimes came to me later that evening in tears due to the sadness that echoed in the memory, as well as her own feelings of betrayal at the counselor choosing to show her such a…..vivid…mental image. I was able to help her, but I am distressed that a counselor of all people would have such poor decision making skills as to put a memory like that inside another’s mind. Why not simply put in the idea to scratch ones nose? Or memory of the smell of a favorite food? Additionally, I read a report from Lieutenant Sonak that during a mind meld Ensign Jurot intimated that she was able to pierce the shields in his mind surrounding a memory he was not at liberty to specify.”

“Simply put,” Asa concluded, “Either the counselor is still Gaia, or she never was. Or her ordeal with Gaia has so altered her mental processes that she is no longer fit to be a counselor to this ship’s crew. Which they need, desperately, after the last two missions. I wanted to speak with you regarding a plan to utilize myself as an interim counselor before formally relieving her of command.”

There was a long moment of silence that seemed to stretch on, as Paris read the report, verifying the summary the doctor had offered in greater detail. The usually friendly face was downturned into a frown that slowly transformed into a scowl. Looking up from the report, there was a flash of anger in the commander’s eyes, but when she spoke, her tone was calm, even gentle.

“Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Myx Dael. I had hoped that maybe being needed and having a purpose might be enough to rouse the counselor. After all, once upon a time someone deemed them a boon to the well-being of others and certified them for service. But it seems those days are past.” Leaning back in her chair, Paris steepled her fingers beneath her chin.

“Given the nature of our assignments and how often we boldly go where angels fear to tread, it seems highly unlikely that the sort of care and counseling called upon to treat this breakdown will be available on the Hera. Not without considerable setbacks. Meanwhile, if her counseling is up to par with her previous performance then…” Paris inhaled slowly then sighed. “I don’t have the authority to remove her from duty for medical reasons, but you do. Is that your recommendation?”

With a grave expression Dael replied simply, "Yes ma'am, that is my official recommendation."

The old-school officer inhaled slowly then released it as a sigh, shaking her head. "I'll have a talk with the Captain, let her read your report and authorize a transfer. Dammit." Paris shook her head, her blonde bangs hanging a bit over one eye. "Sometimes you take chances, you follow your gut and you try different ,maneuvers, different ploys. Sometimes they work, sometimes not. I really hoped that Jurot would rise to the challenge. Avender, Avendar? She said it differently often enough I never did learn her first name. Plus in her onboarding she asked me to call her by her first name. Is that a counselor thing or a Betazoid thing or a modern Starfleet thing?"

Since she'd done the proper first officer thing, Paris was rambling now. But it was the two officers in private discussing the matter frankly.

"I....I think it's a her thing, ma'am," Asa replied. "I know how you feel....I feel like this is a failure on my part, but I'm also not entirely sure the counselor is safe for the crew to be around...I recommend a full security debriefing prior to her transfer. Or if another member of the crew with greater psychic abilities wanted to investigate to see if any Titan is lurking in her head prior to her transfer, that would be wise. If not, we should arrange for a full debrief immediately upon transfer. She will need a great deal of treatment to be whole again..."

The doctor was hanging their head, the whole situation was....messy. But the needs of the crew had to come first, and Avender would be best served by intensive therapy as well. Perhaps one day she could rejoin a different crew."

“Excellent recommendations, Doctor. I’ll push for her for reassignment to Starfleet Psych as a patient. They helped me years ago, and I am sure they likely have more telepaths and empaths on staff these days who would be better qualified to deal with her issues.” Paris pursed her lips off to one side, a surefire sign that she was considering something.

“It feels like failure when we can’t help, doesn’t it? We didn’t create the situation and we did our best to help, but it just wasn’t enough. We all have choices to make and possibilities to explore, but I can’t help but feel that maybe I could have reached her if I’d tried harder. But as we both know, the choice has to be the patient’s, no one else’s. Help those who help themselves and all that,” she waved airily.

With a sigh, Asa nodded. "You are right of course. But after Miss Dauntless and now Counselor Jurot....I really hope pulling people from duty does not have to become a trend. What steps can we take as senior staff to encourage the crew to take care of themselves? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and all that....Did you hear any feedback about the processing emotions seminars we conducted prior to the worldship? If that was of help, I can author and schedule additional talks for people to equip themselves if you think that would be a valuable use of time for the crew."

The doctors frustration was evident, but their optimism sprang eternal. Some of the issues with the crew predated them becoming chief medical officer, but the young immortal was doing all they could to stop other problems with crew health and morale from developing.

“In both cases, we inherited very damaged goods, if you’ll pardon the phrase. And I use it knowing full well that being catapulted through space and time and being reconstituted in a timeline not even my own can be traumatic,” Paris admitted. “I believe that’s the purpose of ships like the Hera- they are crucibles. Those who emerge will be forged into something greater, but not all will accomplish that growth. For many it just exacerbates their flaws and problems and demonstrates that they are unworkable in the fleet.”

“Dauntless saw us as a stepping stone to greater things, always staying above it all and not dealing with the people around her from whom she could form relationships, instead internalizing her self-loathing. Jurot…” the ship’s forst officer picked up a small reproduction of a starship from amongst the clutter of her desk and turned it over in her fingers, contemplating it as a titan considers a toy.

“I believe the Counselor never really got over the loss of her Imzadi, and it colored everything in her life. At least, until her answer to life was to boast to everyone how much of it she could control… but it was a hollow boast, because she couldn’t control herself.” Though she was addressing the doctor, Paris was also walking through her perceived failure herself. “We can’t help them if they don’t want the help. Jurot got a clean slate and it didn’t help. Dauntless was far from anyone that could hurt or judge her, but she isolated herself. All choices on their parts that pre-empted us helping them.”

Sagging in their seat a bit, Asa nodded their agreement. They appeared to be considering something, staring a million meters behind Rita's right ear. After a pause, they said, "I know you are right. I just can't help but wonder who we will lose to the madness next. I keep asking myself, am I doing enough to arm the crew for the dangers they face? Are lines of communication clear where they know they can come to me for help? How do I foster an environment where people can thrive- in spite of our often dangerous circumstances...."

They trailed off, rubbing at the bridge of their nose slightly.

“For what it’s worth,” Paris said gently, leaning in towards the compassionate healer, “I have all of the same worries, as does the Captain. It’s one of the reasons I’m here- she has trouble relating to people, so I bear that responsibility for her. But she feels the loss of each crewman that we lose.”

“I don’t know if it will help, but how I deal with it is that I try to remember that space exploration isn’t for everyone,” the compassionate commander clarified. “The universe needs people who punch a clock, do a day in the lab, and work miracles. The fleet needs people to do air traffic control over Utopia Planitia. There are people who are just colonists, wringing crops from the soil of a distant world. All of these people are needed- but not all of them need to be on a starship that is first on the scene when trouble has escalated out of control.”

"That takes a very special breed of person. So... how are you dealing with all of this, Myx Dael?" Paris finished quietly, her tone soft and concerned. "You haven't been with us long, but you've already seen more than many will in a lifetime."

With a weak smile, Asa replied, "I think I'm going ok. I still feel like a bit of an impostor- like I don't know what I'm doing and don't deserve to be here- but they warned us at the Academy that's a pretty common feeling. And yeah, we've seen a lot, toppled a goddess and a demon, but I think if I believe in any of that it would have bothered me more, you know? I always thought it was just life out there- in about a zillion different forms, some more advanced than other, but life. No mystics, just unknowns. And I love learning the unknown, so I think that's what sees me through- the promise of more to learn, and someone to share it with and care for. Does that make sense?" Asa inquired, eyes huge and young, but earnest and sincere.

The smile that graced the first officer’s face would easily be mistaken for parental pride by anyone who could recognize such things, which of course was a bit lost on Asa Dael. But she nodded and when she spoke, there was light and humor in that tone. “Yes, Doctor Dael. It makes perfect sense. For what it’s worth, I’ve known a few doctors in my day, given the span and how my career has gone. I’ve known quite a few officers as well.”

“I can safely say I have met no one more dedicated to caring for their patients nor more concerned with caring for the whole being, not just the physical, than you. I can also tell you that twice you’ve ended up standing by my side in the heart of the storm. Never once did you flinch, hide, break down and cry. You’re a brave soul Asa Dael, and I feel privileged to know you.” It might have sounded corny or like fluff and nonsense, but Rita Paris always spoke in earnest in such matters, and was unafraid to share her feelings, for weal or woe.

With unshed tears and ears bright red from the embarressment of such high praise, Asa replied awkward, "Th-thank you Commander. That means a great deal coming from you. I think I've come to learn that bravery is just being really, really scared but fighting on anyway. I would never have thought in that moment you had any qualms, or any doubts about your own abilities, or that of those around you. But I know you feel that same trepidation as the rest of us, only because you told me mind, and I just wanted to say....thanks."

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, Dael continued, "So, what are our next steps with the crew? There are a few under Counselor Jurots purview that we need to provide for continuity of care, and likely more that need it."

“We’ll need to reassign counseling duties, for certain,” Paris agreed, expression turning thoughtful. “Do you think you have sufficient staffing to carry the load while we search for a replacement counselor, preferably one pre-damaged enough to deal with our missions without having been driven over the edge before we even begin?”

"I have confidence we do, yes," Dael replied. Suddenly the doctor's face lit up, "You know, I remember they were piloting a holographic counselor back when at I was at the Academy. Perhaps we could get some updates to the EMH, with his consent of course, to allow him to counsel as needed. I can perform this service myself too, of course, I'll just get in touch with my psych professor and do a quick review."

"Talk to the Doctor and see what he thinks about it," Paris offered. She'd tried to use the holographic physician as a counselor herself with poor results. But he did lack training, and he might wish to pursue it. Upgrades were easier then a 12 year degree. "It's appreciated you're willing to help. Back in the 5-year mission days, the ship's doctor was the counselor, and often the confessor. It was said that the ship's surgeon was the conscience of the crew."

At that, Asa turned their head to the side, considering. "Well, it makes sense. A person's doctor literally knows them, inside and out, and has a vow to keep secrets. Whaddya know, I wound up working in the clergy after all, " they said with a wink and a smile.

"And someday I might just make admiral, and my father will roll over in his grave. All right Doctor Dael, I believe we are in accord. I will forward your recommendations to the captain and you have an auxiliary plan in effect. Good work- I'll take it from here. Anything else that needs my attention while you've got it?"

"No ma'am, everything else is in hand," the doctor replied, preparing to rise when dismissed.

“Carry on, Doctor Dael,” Commander Paris offered with a smile.