Walking and Talking

Posted on Sat Feb 9th, 2019 @ 12:38pm by Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Commander Rita Paris

Mission: Earthly Visitation
Location: Sick Bay, and Deck 8
Timeline: 2396, during Shore Leave

It was an extremely long day and night for Mnhei'sahe Dox. It had been well over thirty hours since she first received the distress signal from Doctor Asa Dael that had kick-started a sequence of unbelievable events that had led to where she was now. Sitting in Sickbay, having just been treated for minor burns incurred tackling the Goddess Hera away from the literal embodiment of Death, who had been driven temporarily mad by a tainted bond with the Baroness Von Alcott.

Dox groaned as she put her scorched and ruined uniform top back on as the EMH sent her on her way. She was exhausted from the events of the last thirty hours physically and mentally. As it stood, she still didn't know if she was still a full Lieutenant or if her actions, although influenced by Death herself, still led to the deaths of three prisoners under her watch. But those were problems that would wait until after a little very needed sleep.

As she stepped out of the Sickbay, she was momentarily startled by the presence of the Hera's First Officer, Commander Rita Paris who seemed to be standing out there waiting for something. "Uh... Commander Paris? What can I do for you?"

The first reaction was to lecture the little lieutenant on replicating a fresh uniform if she was going to be seen on deck, particularly leaving Sickbay. But given the conversation, Rita decided to stifle it. The day had been long and trying, and the fact that Dox was in a good mood was favorable- no need to make her feel badly about a choice she’d made which would just make her self-conscious until she addressed it. Not the point, Rita.

“Walk and talk with me, Lieutenant,” Paris explained as she peeled herself off the wall and stepped in stride with the casual pace of the junior officer. “I feel we should talk about today, to help us both process it and put things into perspective, and to clear the air. What do you say?”

Becoming a little nervous, because she was almost always a little nervous, Dox continued alongside her First Officer. Pure fatigue ever so slightly reduced her usual tendency to put herself at rigid attention, however. "Yes, Commander."

“Nope. We’re off-duty, you are still singed from whatever that energy was and it’s just you and me here, passersby who work very hard not to get the Commander’s attention notwithstanding. So this one’s just Rita, Mnhei’sahe.” As they walked, the gold-clad commander eyed the lieutenant. "Assuming you are okay with the familiarity."

"Aye..." Dox rolled her eyes and sighed somewhat humorously as she had almost default answered with military protocol. She let out a light chuckle as she corrected herself more casually. "Yeah. Familiarity is good."

“I was wrong, Dox. I jumped to a conclusion and my own fears and misgivings seemed to be given life, and I overreacted. Which is apparently because when it comes to you and your career, I am a bit defensive, it seems,” Rita chuckled at her own folly. “I wanted to be happy for you with your side life as a pirate, but clearly it terrified me that it was going to ruin your career as a Starfleet officer. And there it looked like it was on its way, and I did not take the time to consider anything logically or be suspicious of the situation. I just took it at face value, and it was more complex than that.”

“Then I compounded it by screwing up and letting you hear my conversation with the captain, which was another mistake compounding the first and second mistakes. So, the old lady gets to be very mortal, very human and very humble today. Day? It is day, isn’t it?” Rita mused. “I’ve been up for so long I literally have no idea what time it is. I had planned to turn in when I got back aboard, but then this whole Death business started.”

"It's... 05:00 hours... ish. I saw a clock in Sickbay and didn't want to believe it." Dox sighed as they approached the turbolift and stood at the doors.

"It's... unusual... hearing a Goddess tell you something was in your head pushing buttons to change the way you think." Dox looked over at Paris with a slightly pained expression. "I didn't feel anything. I just felt impossibly angry and it wouldn't go away. And I've been so angry for so long in my life before coming here that... It was easy to just believe it was who I really was."

The lift opened and the duo stepped inside. As if on autopilot, Dox muttered to the ceiling. "Deck 8." And with a chirp, the lift continued as did the young Romulan officer. "I didn't even consider how everything changed once they left the ship. I just felt nothing but a... wave of guilt. It was like... instant sobriety after being drunk as hell."

“I should have recognized that. I should also have had more faith in you, Miss Dox. This pirate business…” Rita sighed, a seismic event. “The Captain comes with a lot of baggage, and it has always been a concern of mine. When she gave an order to the Baroness Dox, and it was one I would object to, it… it scared me. I was afraid that you were straying from Starfleet, that you were prioritizing the Artans over your duty as an officer. I should have trusted you more than I did, and I apologize.”

“You’re not busted, by the way,” Rita added. “You were never supposed to have overheard that, and it would never have been an issue if not. You weren’t responsible for your actions, and I won’t put a blemish on your record over something in which you had no control.”

"Thank you. I mean, not just for that, but for this. Right now. Thank you." Dox shifted somewhat uncomfortably in the lift as it came to a stop at it's destination. The door wooshed open but Dox just stood for a moment. "When my head was clear again... more than anything... I was terrified beyond anything that I had destroyed my friendship with you. In a day of horrible feelings, it was somehow the worst one."

The face of the fulsome first officer settled into a sad smile, as she placed a hand on the astrospace ace’s shoulder to guide her out of the lift. “Dox… no. We may disagree. I may let you down occasionally. You might let me down sometime. But our friendship is much deeper than that, and I would never abandon you. I’m like the queen of lost causes! If I wouldn’t give up on you when we first met, what makes you think I’d give up on you after you decided I was your sister?”

Hanging her head slightly, Dox took in a deep breath. As she lifted her head back up, she turned to Rita with a half grin and a slightly hysterical chuckle. "Hnave... We finally did it. I think I'm actually too tired to cry again today."

“Let’s call that a good thing, hmm?” Rita offered with a smile, wrapping an arm around the stubborn starfarer’s shoulders and shaking her a bit. After all, they were walking through Officer Country, and they were off duty, so it was unlikely any enlisted would be around to see it.

Dox made her way across Deck 8 as she continued working through processing the day. "That... just made me more scared to lose you. You know my relationship with mother... I didn't know what Family WAS until I got here. Until... until you. And then Asa. The Captain. Mona. Just this idea that someone could mean so much to you that you couldn't imagine that person not existing anymore. That felt like family to me. That told me what you were to me."

In spite of herself, a tear leaked out as they walked past the senior crew quarters. They came up on Dox's room, but the red-headed Romulan knew that Rita was very comfortable in the 'walk and talk' mode, and so she kept walking. "I mean... It's not a Klingon thing where you need to duel anyone to the death in my name or anything. Although... uh... It does kinda mean that if I die on a mission, my Mother has no say in what happens to my possessions or body. That would be you. I mean, if that's okay."

“For what it’s worth… well, I’m guessing you have an idea of what my family was like growing up with The Commander,” Rita expounded, adding some clarification. “I really never trusted anyone until I met Sonak, who is pure transparency- what you see if what you get, and eventually he trusted me with his mind,m his everything. After that, I opened up a bit more, and honestly, I just saw too much of me in you. Except you were raised in a different time, under different circumstances. But that crowd of demons you were hauling along behind you… them I knew all too well, because they still try to whisper to me too.”

Walking along side, Dox nodded up with a melancholy smile as she let Rita continue.

“As for the disposition of your worldly goods in the case of your untimely demise, make sure you write out a will. Which I suppose I should do as well, although I expect they’d just recycle all of whatever’s in my quarters and be done with it, like all the other times I seem to have perished,” Rita snickered.

"Over my dead body." Dox replied, a little more aggressively then she might have under different circumstances, before catching herself. "Sorry... I know that's not up to me. I just mean that's not right. Not here. Sorry."

“Ahhh, Sonak’s not one to attach emotional significance to objects… given that he’s not one to attach emotions, period,” Rita chuckled. “And I got what you meant, Mnhei’sahe. The sentiment is appreciated. I’d make out a will, but… seriously, I’ve been listed as KIA like five times in my career now, I think. No wonder I can’t see death… I’ve spent my life cheating her somehow.”

“If I should die, take what you want. If I want it back badly enough, I’ll come back and ask for it, okay?” Paris raised her eyebrows and offered a bemused smile to the rambunctious Romulan.

With a slightly exaggerated smile, Dox replied. "Then I'll just hold on to it and wait for..."

Then she trailed off, thinking about what Rita had said about not being able to see Death. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks and began laughing as a massive grin spread across her face, and a fresh tear snuck out.

“Whoah whoah whoah, what all this then?” Rita asked, in equal parts surprise, bemusement and concern.

"Oh my goodness... that's what she meant. How could I have not caught that?!" Dox smiled up at Rita. "Kodria. We were talking. We were talking about... well... You. She was worried about having told you stuff from the future. She wouldn't say what, but I just kinda told her that you were the right person to go to. And she laughed."

A few more tears crept out as Dox thought of her lovely Android 'niece' in stasis until she would wake back in in her own future. "She said... She said, 'Even Death can't stand up to Aunt Rita.' That sneaky little... I'm hugging her so hard when she wakes up."

“Hahaha… well that’s… funny, I guess. Certainly open to interpretation, for sure,” the throwback retro officer admitted. “But have no fear, Miss Dox. I am neither an immortal nor unkillable… I’m just extremely lucky and unlucky all at the same time. Which tends to lend itself to a life that reads a bit like far-fetched fiction. But I’m from a hundred thirty years in the past and an accidentally created timeline that no longer exists, so what is and isn’t believable is a bit more loosely defined when it comes to me.”

“Have you been sitting on this the whole time, afraid to say anything for fear of messing up the timeline yet petrified over what it might mean?” Rita asked, genuinely concerned over this development.

With a light laugh, Dox replied, "This, no. Not really. She said it so casually I just chalked it up to her generally high regard towards you. She was so worried about telling me anything, even though she really wanted to."

Thinking back to that night, Dox's tone got more melancholy. "She was so upset about what she told you, she didn't want to risk anything more. So I just tried to make her feel better, ya' know?"

“Good for you. She was so determined to fix what once went wrong, yet not to fundamentally ruin our lives in the process,” Rita recounted. “It’s hard to reassure someone when you are so desperately curious about the future. But I’m pretty proud of all of the crew on that front. No one pressed her, and Kodria might just have made a difference after all. With a little luck, someday she’ll be able to tell us all in person.”

As they rounded the deck again and came up on her quarters again, this time the exhausted pilot slowed to a stop. "I miss her. Even without saying much about our futures, you could see who she was. She was a good person. She is a good person. Knowing I had something to do with that, no matter how much or how little, feels... it feels good."

“Yes… yes it does. Look, Miss Dox, I am genuinely sorry for how this crisis played out. I’ve said a lot of things, tried to own my own faults and foibles within it and you’ve not really acknowledged it. Are we okay?” Paris asked directly. “Or is there more that I need to say or do?”

Leaning her head back, Dox took a breath. "This is still 'Rita and Mnhei'sahe' time, right?"

“This is still very much off the record, no ranks, permission to speak freely. If you have something spectacularly disrespectful to say, we may want to step inside. But by all means, speak your mind. Miss Dox.” It may have seemed like formality, but in truth, Rita used the honorific in on and off duty conversations, as it was actually less of a mouthful to say than ‘Mnhei’sahe’ to her. While Rita was concerned over what might be said, it was only fair to hear what the redheaded Romulan had on her mind.

But what was on her mind was more than words, as she flung her arms tight around her friend. Shuddering slightly as she clung to Rita Paris for a moment, all she could say was a hoarse "t... thank you. Thank you for not giving up even when... even when I didn't give you any reason not to. Thank you "

“Heyyyy… hey… it’s okay, it’s okay,” Paris patted the back of the emotionally wrung out pilot, letting her get her release. “We’re friends, we’re shipmates and we’re Starfleet. You might be surprised how far I’d go for you, and just how determined I’ll be not to give up on one Mnhei’sahe Dox. I will not give up on you- I wouldn’t when you were a stubborn introvert, and I sure as hell won’t give up on you now, or ever. You’re going to be stuck listening to me tell your grandchildren stories about their famous granny someday, or whatever the word for that is in Romulan.”

Pulling herself off of Paris, Dox righted herself and wiped her nose and she chuckled. "D'ri’anov."

“Whoof. I’ll just stick to Federation standard so as not to molest your native tongue,” Paris chuckled, then she waited for Dox to compose herself. When she had, Paris made eye contact, her expression one unfamiliar to the pilot the called Hotshot.

“So… I’ve apologized a lot, but… you haven’t actually accepted any of my apologies. Should I take that as a sign…?” Now it was clear that it was something the observant officer had noted and had built up some concerns of her own.

With a slightly uncomfortable look on her face, Dox wiped her nose. She bit the bottom of her lip as she struggled to speak. "Rita, yes. Of course, I accept. Of course. I just... It's just that... I don't think you did anything to apologize for. None of us had any way of knowing."

The conflicted Romulan took a deep breath as she continued. "I was so upset after my head cleared... when you called me to the Brig, I was on my way to your office. I had a PaDD with my report... and my resignation. I couldn't process how I could have just... done NOTHING."

The exhaustion having taken its toll on her composure, her eyes watered up again. "I filled out my own paperwork for a Court Marshall, I was so upset. And now... even knowing what happened... I don't know how to deal with it. More people are dead because I didn't do what I should have. Because I let another one in."

“Maybe it was the presence or influence of Death, which can make one freeze in the moment. Maybe it was the horror of watching what you viewed as a friend casually commit murder. Maybe it was shock. There are a lot of maybes in there. But there are a few things I do know,” Paris reached down and took her friend’s shoulders in her hands.

“You are no coward; you lack neither bravery nor fortitude, and while you may not have experienced quite so much of the weirdness the galaxy offers, you are experiencing it now. Learning from it. Growing,” Rita nodded as she spoke, emphasizing her point. “You did your best while you were under the influence. Next time you will recognize it and have more of an edge. Next time you’ll be better. That’s what I expect, and that’s what you’ll do. I have faith in you. As Sonak says, experiments must always have failures- they teach us as much as successes.”

“No resigning, missy. I won’t have you throwing away a promising Starfleet career over a mistake. We learn, we grow- we don’t quit. Quitters never make the history books, and they don’t save the ship, world, system, quadrant, galaxy. We get knocked down, then we get up again. And if you can’t then you get a hand up. Understand?” Paris offered a smirk that looked like a less sinister version of the Captain’s trademark expression.

“Next time you’ll know better, and you’ll act differently. But you can’t beat yourself up until next time, and I surely won’t. So long as you’ve got faith in me, I’ve got it in you too, little sister,” Rita smiled, that million watt smile that reminded you just how pretty the woman really was, as opposed to getting used to her in day to day life.

Her composure returning, Dox stood up straighter and replied. "I understand. I do, and I will. Thank you, Rita." And with a slight smile, she continued. "And thank you, Commander."

“You’re welcome, Mnhei’sahe. And of course, Lieutenant- it’s the job. Comes with the pips. And I have to prepare you for someday when you’ll be giving these talks to officers under your command.” When she spoke of it, a future of command did not seem like wishful thinking when the words came out of the mouth of the confident Rita Paris.

Instead, it was somehow sounded like a promise from the universe.