The Talk

Posted on Mon Feb 11th, 2019 @ 8:17pm by Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Commander Rita Paris

Mission: Earthly Visitation
Location: Runabout Selune
Timeline: 2396

Keeping busy with work was the one thing that Lieutenant Mnhei'sahe Dox liked to do the most when her mind was otherwise wont to be distracted. And today, she had a whopper of a potential distraction. The night before, Dox had her first date with her fellow flight control officer and friend, Ensign Mona Gonadie, and it had gone surprisingly well. Dox had been harboring feelings for the brilliantly plumed Miradonian for months and had finally worked up the nerve to ask her out and she had said yes.

Thankfully, today Mona had been scheduled for helm duty leaving Dox to work in relative privacy in the Flight Control Office. On her desk were a variety of crisis that needed to be addressed, which included new crew transfers from the Hera's recent time in the Sol system, and continuing flight tests on the upgraded engines on the Runabouts Thor and Selune. As such, that was where Dox found herself now, running a pre-flight systems check on the Runabout Selune. The day before she had scheduled a quick engine test outside of the ship and everything was looking good. Pleased that all was well in the main hangar bay, she put Ensign Hartnell in charge of the office for a while, and prepared to take the runabout out.

Which was when she received a buzz from the dockmaster's station in the hangar.

“Lieutenant Dox? Commander Paris has requested to copilot with you on this test flight. She should be approaching now."

Sure enough, marching double-time at that military pace of hers, Dox could see the distinctive form of Commander Rita Paris rapidly covering the distance between the traffic control office and the Selune. If her antique uniform were not distinctive enough to identify her, no one else on the Hera had that figure, which even on the well-disciplined flight deck still turned heads as she passed.

"Confirmed. Thank you, dock master." Quickly, Dox punched in the door sequence, the warning light and klaxon going off outside to warn of the lowering ramp, even as the hatch to the runabout opened with a telltale woosh to allow the Hera's First Officer entry. Dox was focused on the pre-flight check and the normal anxiety that would have had her wondering what was wrong was absent.

She turned to the hatch and stood up. "Welcome aboard, Commander."

“Thank you, Lieutenant. Taking her out to shake her down?” Paris asked, realizing she’d made a double entendre without trying as she waved off the formality. Settling into the copilot's seat, the fulsome first officer wore a half-lidded expression of bemusement on her face.

"Aye, Commander. She's passed all the diagnostics and Sim tests of the new engine systems, but I need to feel it in action and run her through her paces before I clear the ship for duty." Dox tended to refer to the shuttles and runabouts in anthropomorphic terms, and today was no exception. "But I'm always glad for some company and an extra pilot's p.o.v. Thanks."

Dox called up to the computer with a broad smile on her face. "Selune to Flight Control. Requesting clearance for launch."

"Selune, you are 5X5 and cleared for launch,” came the voice of traffic control.

Confirming, Dox completed the sequence and took the runabout out into the stars. After clearing to a safe distance, the through Chief pulled up the flight test checklist and began putting the smaller ship through her paces. "If you'd like, we can swap on the checklist, Commander. So far, she's handling perfectly."

“Happy to help. So, you ready for The Talk? I mean, by now you expect this sort of thing, so it can’t be a surprise. Tell you what- let’s make this some leadership training. Forward maneuvering thrusters check, and how about if you tell me why I’m here, what I’m here to talk about and why it’s important?” While she could be terribly old-fashioned in many ways, the feisty first officer had a knack for throwing people and situations off-balance, and today she was clearly living up to her reputation.

As her normal levels of anxiety had abated, Dox was slightly confused for about half a second before she put the pieces together. Her expression deflated slightly, as she responded, first to the more official requirement. "Forward maneuvering thruster check, aye."

As she began the first text, she prepared mentally for the next one. "You're here..." She paused, her familiar anxiety reemerging. "You're here to talk to me about myself and Ensign Gonadie going out last night."

Without missing beat, Dox continued to clear the flight checklist as instructed as she spoke. "That while relationships between crewmembers are not forbidden, they are to a degree, frowned upon as they increase the chances of favoritism, clouded judgment and possibly reduced performance quality. Which, I guess, is the regulation answer. But... It's important that we don't allow personal feelings to get in the way of our duties to the ship or color how the crew perceives us as officers, which can undermine authority."

The smile that spread across the face of the senior officer at the explanation of her junior officer was genuine, as she was consistently impressed with the pointy-eared pilot. “Great answer. So the next part of the talk would be about what you show in public versus private. But again, I suspect you know exactly what I’m going to say.”

"We rein it in. No public displays of affection or overt familiarity. Whatever... whatever this might become is kept behind closed doors." Dox replied, in a somewhat sheepish voice, "We present ourselves as officers first and foremost."

“Correct. Miss Dox, am I embarrassing you? Rear maneuvering thrusters,” Paris asked solicitously. She had planned for this to be far less mortifying for Mnhei’sahe Dox than it appeared to be turning out to be, and it distressed her.

Punching in the proper instructions to the helm, Dox replied professionally. "Rear maneuvering thrusters. Aye." As she began putting the runabout through the steps of the checklist again, she tilted her head slightly. "No, not really, Commander. Not embarrassed... Just... I'm just worried I'm going to mess this up on every level. It's not like there's a checklist for it."

“A little of that is healthy,” Rita admitted, “because it keeps you from getting cocky and makes you pay attention to your partner, which is important. So professionally you have all the right answers- no canoodling in public, keep it professional. It’s not as hard as it sounds, honestly. As for in private… well.”

“You have a great number of resources who know a little bit about this. And you also have someone else involved who isn’t exactly a dodo bird,” Rita couldn’t resist the avian reference which was probably lost on the Romulan girl. “So worry less about screwing it up and more about enjoying the feeling of excitement at the beginning of the relationship, when you are exploring who each other are and what they are about, finding common ground and differences, feeling the emotions swell within you and that hot flush sensation when they look at you. Don’t overthink it. Trust yourself, trust her, and even if this doesn’t work out, make sure you comport yourself as an adult and you should be able to part as friends.”

“Oh, and never speak in anger,” Rita added. “I have seen more damage done from a slip of the tongue and words spoken in anger than anything else in a relationship. One of the reasons I chased Sonak- I knew he would never lash out in anger or fear or retaliation. He literally has none of that in him, so I knew I would always be safe from that with him.”

Looking over at Rita, who had slid effortlessly from First Office to Friend, as she often did, Dox smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate it. I really... have no idea what I'm doing. It took me months to just say something to her."

“Well, life’s a dance you learn as you go, and this is one of those dances that can be the best and worst of times,” the Earth girl philosophized as she was wont to do in such moments. “Trust your feelings, speak from your heart, and most of all be truthful, with yourself and with her, and you’d be surprised how the rest of it tends to fall into place. It took me weeks and a death sentence to tell Sonak I liked him. I was terrified he was going to reject me- I mean, I’m all emotion and he is none, and sex isn’t the same for them as it is for us. But if I hadn’t screwed up my courage to be honest with him I likely wouldn’t be here today. So, honesty, my friend- the key to all relationships.”

The smile slowly faded as Dox's tone took on a melancholy one. "Should...should I even be... Rita... I'm such a mess. It's... it doesn't feel fair to... Inflict my issues on to her like this."

"Wow, self-defeatism this soon? Look, I get the whole imposter syndrome, believe me. And crummy self-esteem is hard to overcome, I will admit. But deciding you are unworthy before she even gets to know you is really doing the other person a serious disservice, don't you think?" Rita ran a few diagnostics on the checklist as she spoke, leaving her a bit distracted and less intense in her delivery and focus. "You are removing their chance to get to know you and decide if your quirks and flaws and damage just make you more interesting. It happens y'know."

"Again," Rita pointed to herself with her index finger. "This chick. Damage? Lots, with more incoming on a semi-regular basis. But he doesn't mind. He enjoys helping me sort it all out and he lends perspective, while he finds it all fascinating and applauds me for my progress. I would never have known that if I decided I was 'just too emotional' for him."

The smile began to crack through a little at a time. "Thanks." Dox paused for a moment as she was running through her mind.

"In those boxes we had beamed up from my grandparents... I remember they had this set of, like, polished stone egg things. Do you think she would like those or is that stupid?" Dox looked over with a legitimately concerned look on her face.

"Do you think she might like them?" Rita asked plainly as she test fired the phasers and watched the metrics. She was skipping around on the checklist, but getting it done while they talked.

"When she was on shore leave she got me this adorable little holographic parrot as a gift. It's really cute and I thought the eggs... I don't know... I hope so." As she spoke, she tossed her head back. "I'm second guessing myself again, aren't I? Nevermind, it's rhetorical. I know I am."

"I think she'll like them." Dox returned her attention to the flight checklist. "And it looks like the Selune checks out. Want to take the helm?"

"Don't mind if I do, since I have the excuse. I've never flown her before," Rita tapped over the controls, and sighed. "Say what you will, Tom Paris was right. Pushbutton flying is boring. Now, about your eggs. What was it that made you think that she would like them? It was because you saw them and you thought of her, right?"

Without really thinking, Dox just replied as she filed the report from the checklists into the ships logs for later. "Yeah. Basically."

"Those are the important words right there. 'I saw them and thought of you'," Rita explained as she slid the small stealth ship into some tight little slaloms. "Every woman wants to hear that. It means that in some way we're always on their minds, and that's incredibly flattering. Because it is genuinely sweet. So, be honest, say how you feel and see how she reacts. I don't think I've ever gotten a gift and not at least been polite about it, even if I stuffed it in a shoe box under my bed. I had a LOT of shoe boxes growing up, trust me."

Dox smiled as she listened to Rita's advice. She smiled thinking of Mona, and missed her as she did so. "Rita, thank you again. For the advice and just... ya' know... for listening."

"That's what friends are for, Miss Dox... and senior officers."