You Can't Go Home Again....Usually
Posted on Thu Feb 28th, 2019 @ 9:24am by Commander Rita Paris & Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Lieutenant Asa Dael & Death
Mission:
Recovery Trek
Location: Bajor
Timeline: 2396
You can never go home again. That’s what the old saying was. Lieutenant Asa Dael had always hoped that would be more of a promise than a warning, but here they were, getting ready to shuttle back to Bajor, back to the El-Aurian colony they grew up in….back to their father.
Carrying a small backpack with a few changes of clothes and some essentials, Asa also had their med bag in tow. The bag, usually reserved for away missions, was stuffed to the gills with vaccines, preventatives, pre-natal supplements, prophylactics, and medications for the most common El-Aurian illnesses. Asa knew the likelihood of anyone in the religious colony they grew up in accepting medicine was small, but they were determined to help whomever they could. Also packed safely away were hypos filled with the vaccine and treatment for Vahar’ai.
Vahar’ai was a nasty disease that had proceeded to mutate into several different variants since it was originally introduced to the galaxy about 100 years ago, and Asa’s father, Keres Dael, had acquired the gamma variant. Since he refused treatment, over the course of the next year Keres could look forward to heart palpitations, increased heart rate, increasing pain levels, difficulty breathing, increasing weakness and growing precognitions of his own death.
Being a religious old fool, the diagnosis meant he felt it was his chosen time to die, and he had called Asa to inform them. The doctor had dutifully made arrangements to go see him, not out of love for their father, but out of obligation to their duty as a doctor to try to save whomever they could- even if they really preferred not to.
Exiting the turbolift on deck 4, Asa began to walk to pad 12 towards the Thor. The Thor was Asa’s personal favorite runabout, having seen them to and from battlefields in one piece. As they approached, the doctor saw Commander Rita Paris standing nearby, early as usual, and took a moment to be glad of their friends company on this journey.
Raising a hand in greeting, Asa said, “Morning, Commander. How are you today? Ready to do a little bit of flying?”
“Just dandy,” the curvaceous commander replied in her usual cheerful style as she leaned against the armored hull of the combat runabout. “Ready to go to the colony of sick people who are determined to be that way, to listen to a hard-headed old man try to manipulate his offspring into doing his bidding, and be on standby and stay out of it unless you indicate that you’d like for me to intervene. How’m I doing so far?”
With a hearty laugh, Asa replied, “That sums it up quite nicely, Commander. Although to be fair, if you feel the need to verbally eviscerate Keres, my father that is, at any point, please don’t hold back on account of me. That fool needs all the talking to he can get, and if ever anyone could talk sense into someone, it would be you ma’am.”
Taking their place inside the Thor, Asa looked around. Cara Anam, the named Asa had given to Death, was not on board. There were however two very imposing looking Klingon women and one rather large humanoid female security officer. When Rita Paris assembled a security detail, she did not mess about. Asa would be hard pressed to think of a single Amazon on Meroset they had fought that looked a hair more fearsome, and couldn’t recall one.
Looking towards Paris, Asa inquired, “I would ask where Cara is, but I’m guessing I’m the only one who can see her. And you must be S’rina, V’nus, and Jablonski? Honored to make your acquaintance. Our EMH let me know your onboarding exam went well, and he was quite impressed at the level of fitness you all maintain. I trust you are well?”
“Yes… Lieutenant,” Jablonski answered as the Klingon women exchanged glances but said nothing. It was clear that the neckless human officer from Wisconsin had been fishing for the correct honorific, and settled on rank when the answer did not readily present itself. After all, one could not misstep with rank as a form of address.
While waiting for a response, Dael pulled up a PaDD and double checked, yes, all three were already vaccinated against Vahar’ai. Commander Paris had been vaccinated as soon as the mission was cleared, allowing the requisite 24 hour period for the vaccine to be fully active in her system. Asa knew Rita would have thought of that when choosing personnel, but with the potential for going into a disease hotspot, they would be negligent in their duty if they didn’t double check.
“So, Doctor, are we all here and ready to go?” Paris asked as she boarded the sturdy little warship, patting the bulkhead affectionately as she did so. Rita had a habit of treating starships and aircraft as if they were crew members, and she had flown the Thor into more than one terrible situation now. But what she was aiming for this time was inquiring whether the invisible and intangible presence of Death was among them, as she herself was unable to perceive of the incarnation of immortality, and relied on others to keep her informed.
It most definitely did not bother Rita Paris that she could not see Death. After a lifetime racing to stay ahead of her, having the entity as a travel companion was unwelcome enough. She didn’t need to start having conversations with it.
“Just as soon as Cara is here, yes ma’am. I’m sending her a message now to see if she is joining us here or if she made….other….arrangements,” Dael replied. To the best of the Doctor’s knowledge, the three security personnel were not in the loop regarding Cara’s true identity as Death- a multidimensional deity level being only pretending to be imprisoned as ‘guest’ of the Hera. After all, anyone that thought Death could be contained was clearly not paying attention. Asa, on the other hand, had seen the Pale Horse that Death rode, and immediately wanted to go for a ride. Showing wisdom, Cara had carefully redirected that particular request.
"I'm ready when you are," came the familiar voice of Death as she strode in almost casually from the back of the runabout. "Since you're the only one that can see me, Asa?"
Smiling broadly at their friend, Asa simply said to the ship, "Oh, looks like all arrangements have been made. Ready when you are, Commander."
As Death took her seat, Asa winked at Paris to let her know their other passenger was in tow, not wanting to announce to ever-vigilant security personnel that a being they could not see had just boarded.
The wink Rita found a bit unnerving, because that meant that death moved amongst them.
“Is Miss Dox coming along for this ride?” the gold-clad commander asked. The two were inseparable as friends, Doc and Dox, as Rita often referred to them. As junior officers both on their first real assignment, the two had become fast friends. While Rita was a figure of authority that would be a welcome one to stand up to their bully of a father, there were likely also going to be moments where crying on Rita’s shoulder would not be the same as having Dox there, and Rita understood that implicitly. Her role was to support and guide the junior officers- but she was by no means a one-woman show. It took a village, so they said, and she encouraged the bonds the young officers were forging. Uncommon bravery and wellsprings of courage were often found when such bonds existed, and Rita wanted both young officers to achieve their full potential someday.
Asa’s grin broadened, “Well, I wasn’t sure if that would be permissible or not, so she may be waiting in her office, bag packed, for me to give her the all clear. Silly me, I should have just asked. I’m sorry, Commander, an argument can be made I’m not at my most logical right now. Lieutenant Sonak would be aghast.”
"Given the circumstances, I'm sure he'd understand," Rita offered with a small smile. "Go on, wave the semaphore flags and call her aboard."
Tapping their commbadge, Asa said, “Lieutenant Dox, Commander Paris is amenable to your presence. If you are still available… well, I’d really like you to be there.”
"Then consider me there." Dox said with a side grin as she simply walked up the ramp behind Asa, having clearly been waiting just outside for the call she considered a given. "Emergency bags are packed and already stowed."
Then Dox nodded as she addressed the rest of the assemblage. "Commander, Ladies. Dock control has given us the all clear and the pre-flight checks have been performed."
Walking over to where Death was standing, Dox flashed her friend a smile, but also didn't directly address her as well for the benefit of the security team. "So, rock/paper/scissors, Commander?" Referencing the game that had played occasionally to decide who would fly on missions where the parameters allowed.
"You pre-empted my flight check on the assumption that you were coming on the away mission and denied me the first chance I've had in months to do it myself?" Paris stiffened and bristled as she spoke, then mugged cartoonishly. "I'll take him down and you can drive us home, copilot. Let's button up and fly, folks, sunny Bajor awaits!"
Even as the two pilots settled into their seats and the hatch closed behind them, Paris lit up the nav system and brought up power to the impulse engines. "Hera traffic control, this is Away Team 7 in the mighty Thor, seeking clearance to depart on the flight path to Bajor, over."
"Mighty Thor, you have clearance on flight path 3, have a safe flight, Commander Paris," came the reply, and Rita wrinkled her nose.
"Protosk is such a suck-up..."
The trip was not long, but it was quiet, each of the passengers lost in retrospection as the tension grew thick.
Once landed outside Quarantine Station Zed, Paris ordered the Security trio to stand guard on the runabout, and to be prepared to man the weapons should the curvaceous commander call for an artillery strike. While the trio of security officers exchanged questioning glances, they all agreed to be ready to follow such orders were they given.
Once the hatch was unsealed, Asa walked to the entrance in a ground-eating stride. The look of determination on their face was clear, and their manner was all business.
“Doctor Asa Dael requesting admission, I believe my request was approved two days ago?” they inquired of the bored looking receptionist inside the entry.
“And these people are…..”the receptionist inquired, gesturing to Rita and Mnhei’sahe.
“Commander Rita Paris and Lieutenant Mnhei’sahe Dox of Starfleet. They were also included in the clearance authorization from Starfleet Command, if you would please just check your records?”
The receptionist simply gave the trio a level stare before beginning to slowly type the information provided into a PaDD. Asa tried to remain calm, but was pacing the waiting area, frustration evident on their face.
The quarantine station had a smell to it unique to residential medical facilities. There was something antiseptic to the smell, something like institutional cleanliness that was never quite “right” to the senses. The floors and walls were all stark white, and the gleaming chairs all a polished silver color. The overall appearance was sterile- devoid of disease, but also devoid of caring or hominess.
After about a five minute delay, Asa marched up to the receptionist, war on their face, and asked, “I’m sorry, but can you please clear us for entry? I have a patient to see.”
Pointing towards the seats, the receptionist simply said blandly, “Have a seat. I will call you when I have verified your credentials.”
Glancing first at Rita and then at Asa before staring back at the prickly receptionist moving at a snail's pace, Dox was going to follow her friend's lead here. And if Asa was going to push back, then Dox would stand right next to them while they did. Meanwhile, Rita placed a hand on Dox' leg- silently indicating to let the frail physician work. They had a lot of anxiety and fear and frustration tied up in this confrontation, so Rita suspected it might be good to let them vent on this slow gatekeeper first.
“No,” Asa said coldly, white hot fury sparking off their eyes. “I am a medical professional seeking to provide care to a patient by the name of Keres Dael. This has been pre-approved by your superior, a Doctor Lovar Skaw. My colleagues here have also been pre-approved by both the Bajoran local governments, Starfleet Command, Starfleet Medical, the Quarantine protocol board, and the Joint Alliance of Virology. I know for a fact that all this information is literally at your finger-tips. I also know that your delay in simply doing your job and confirming this data is putting a patients well being at risk. So, no, I will not sit down and wait. You will pick up that device and Do. Your. Job.”
Through the course of their speech, Asa had firmly planted both hands on the reception desk and was leaning over more and more with each word, concluding their speech almost nose to nose with the recalcitrant Bajoran working the desk.
With a sigh, the receptionist, with a name tag reading “Vortan” Asa noticed, picked up the nearby device and scrolled through the list of expected guests. Upon seeing “Lieutenants Dael and Dox, Commander Paris, Starfleet, USS {REDACTED}, AUTHORIZATION- FACILITY WIDE. ALL ACCOMODATIONS TO BE MADE. VIP ACCESS” signed by Doctor Skaw, Vortan’s face drained of all color before they weakly said, “Right inside the doors to the left please, the duty nurse can show you to Keres’ room.”
“Thank you, Vortan. I will make sure your head of medicine is aware of your…efforts….here today” Asa sneered before marching through the now open doors.
The double doors to the ward closing behind Asa, they began to realize where they were standing. In a hospital. Where their father was dying. About to see him again.
It was in that moment the panic began to set in. Before reaching the smiling duty nurse waiting at his station, Asa turned to look at Mnhei’sahe, Rita, and Cara.
“I…I can do this, right? Someone please tell me I can do this. That I’m not going to actually implode, even though it feels like I am?” The words were said softly, but the doctor had a wild look in their eyes, and their hands alternated between twisting together and standing by Asa’s side trembling.
Rising smoothly from the chair, Paris crossed the distance in two strides, and stood beside be delicate doctor. “You can do this. Because we’re right here, and we’ll even come in with you if you wish. You are Starfleet- you are never alone, Doc. All the times you have followed me into hell, I’m as close as you need me. Dox?”
At Rita's cue, Dox took hold of Asa's hand and gripped it tight as she leaned in close, looking the frightened doctor in the eyes as she spoke softly. "Asa, look at me. You can do this. I know it feels like you're going to collapse, but you are one of the strongest people I've ever met. You've found ways to smile after going through things that would have broken anyone. And then you help those broken people regardless of your own pain, because that's who Asa Dael is. You are here, we're here for you and you will get through this."
Then Dox gestured with her head to where Death stood with a warm smile as she took Asa's hand, and the pilot grinned slightly as she joked. "Besides, Rei would totally let us know if you were going to implode."
Asa squeezed Mnhei’sahe’s hands and barked out a quick laugh. “Well, there is that, thank you Min.”
Releasing their grip on their friend, Asa did a quick nose pinch and swallow before stepping towards the compassionate face of the duty nurse.
“Doctor Dael and associates here to see Keres Dael, can you please direct me to the room?” Asa asked in a voice sounding much more confident than they felt.
The duty nurse smiled briefly, and picked up a PaDD containing Keres’s chart before handing it over to Asa. While walking with them through the well-lit corridors, he said, “Family of yours? I only ask because of the same last names and the fact we don’t see too many El-Aurian’s here. Any way about it, not an easy thing to do. You just ring the bell in the room if you need anything at any time, and one of us will come running. This is it, Room 792B, Keres Dael. Best of luck Doctor, and remember, just ring the bell.”
With that said, the chatty man was heading back to his duty station.
Nothing else for it,Asa thought, Time to go in.
The room was like a million other hospital rooms in a million other hospitals. The single, multi-position biobed occupied the center of the room, while a viewscreen hung from the wall, and monitors over the patients head displayed all his current vitals. A medium sized recliner was next to the bed for visitors who would spend the night, and a small table with a few uncomfortable looking silver chairs occupied the other corner of the room. The cabinets in the room would hold perhaps a change of clothing or two for Keres, but were likely to be left untouched as he would not be permitted outside his medical gown for very long. In a concession to the quarantine protocols, an emergency wash station was nearby, medical-grade disposal facilities were built into the wall, and emergency containment force field generators were built into the ceiling around the bed. A small station with a PaDD and a glass of water sat next to Keres bed, and a tiny wilting flower sat in a transparent glass of water. The signs on the wall also reminded the visitor that “Quarantine Protocol In Effect For This Ward, Please See the Duty Nurse Before Leaving on Penalty of Law”
Unconsciously taking in all those small details, Asa was transfixed by the figure in the bed. Keres had always been such a vital man. At just a shade under 2 meters tall, he had walked through life looming large to all who knew him. His booming voice and charming smile had helped ingratiate him to the El-Aurian refugees, securing him as both their spiritual and political leader on Bajor.
Now, wearing a pitiful white and blue medical gown, wrapped nearly to the shoulders in four blankets, and weakly sipping a glass of water with his eyes closed, he looked so small. The veiny spots that spoke to advancing Vahar’ai were slowly taking over Keres skin, and his overall skin tone no longer had a sun-kissued hue, but was waxy and pale. His eyes were sunken, and he had lost about 20 KG to Asa’s eyes since they had last seen him.
If not for the fury Keres inspired in Asa, they might have keeled over from the shock. Instead, the anger at knowing the man was choosing to do this to himself spurred Asa onwards into the room, reviewing his chart as they walked.
Standing at the foot of the bed, Asa looked up from the PaDD to make eye contact with Keres before glancing at his vitals on display.
“Well, Keres. You got me to come home. I trust that is what you wanted?”
At the sound of Asa’s voice, Keres snapped open his eyes, taking in the sight of his progeny in Starfleet uniform. The disapproval was clear on his face as he continued on to look at the other occupants of the room. He did not stare any longer at where Cara Anam, the literal embodiment of Death, was standing nearby, but it was clear from the once over he gave her that he did see her.
“No, Asa, what I wanted was for you to know your place and never leave. But I am glad you are here…even if you did bring along some….interesting….companions,” Keres finally replied. His voice held a thrum of winter chill, a judgement against anyone who would second guess his divine inspiration, and a contempt for any who would defy his will.
“I know my place, father. I’m in it. Looks like you may have finally found yours,” Asa snarled, taking the nearby recliner and reaching into their medical bag to withdraw a tricorder.
After conducting a brief scan, Asa nodded to themself once, and looked up and said flatly, “Congratulations. You are dying. And you don’t have to be. Now will you let me treat you already so you can go home?”
With a sneer, Keres turned to the other occupants of the room. Flashing his most charming smile he did his best to project what he hoped was an appeal to common sense, “Ladies, ladies, forgive me, please. My disagreements with my son, forgive me, my child here, as they just insist I call them, can you imagine? Have made me a rude host. Keres Dael, leader of the El-Aurian Colony on Bajor, and Spiritual Advisor to all, at your service. Please won’t you be seated? I can always call the staff here to bring something for you. Why they don’t just put replicators in every room is beyond me…..”
The fury burning in Asa’s eyes flared to a new level at being called “son” when they had covered this already with their father. Prepared to act on that promise to leave and never look back, Asa started to put their medical accoutrements away before pausing, as if struck by sudden inspiration, and they wordlessly stalked from the room towards the nurse’s station, leaving Paris, Dox, and Death alone with Keres.
With her face turning green, Dox felt a flash of heat in her face as her anger for what her had just said to Asa. As soon as her keen Romulan ears felt.that Asa was out of earshot, the fuming young Red-head spoke. "That is your child. Not.your 'son'. That FACT has been throughly explained to you, Mr. Dael. And since you are well aware of that, I can only presume your intention is to hurt Asa with the only weapon you have left in your dwindling arsenal."
Her hands were folded behind her back as she spoke, but they were balled tightly in fists. "And make no mistake,
Letting out a resigned sigh, Keres simply held up his hands in a placating manner, “So, little Asa has convinced all of you they belong among the stars, have they? Do you even know how old they are? 26? No, 27 now. Asa is a child. Children cannot make such decisions for themself. Whatever training h-they- received, emotionally and physically, Asa is not yet mature. H-They will make rash decisions, unable to understand the import their actions can carry, and they will form bonds with other life forms, such as yourself, who- and I mean no offense here- are going to be but mayflies in the end. What do you think the heartache of this realization will do to Asa? When they finally realize, once and for all, that friendship among the short spanned life in the Universe will only bring pain to them, when they realize that, how will you help? No, no, they need to be here. Only we can truly give Asa what h-they-need. Can you understand that?”
The bluster was absent from Keres voice now. He sounded concerned for the welfare of his child, but clearly was not willing to back down about knowing best where Asa belonged- even more so than the doctor themself. The false start to each pronoun followed by the correction to "they" that was proper spoke of someone paying lip service to using the right word, but the lack of experience in doing so also spoke of years of ignoring the request.
As for Commander Rita Paris, for a change, she hung back. This was a game she knew how to play better than anyone in the room, and she’d have her turn. But for now, she would let this play out as it was destined to unfold until her moment arrived.
“Wisdom from children- I wish I could say it is surprising, but the folly of youth never changes,” the old man in the bed explained, dropping part of the ‘nice old man’ act and giving a hint of the hissing derisive beast who lived beneath that veneer of civility. “I am a old man near death, Romulan. You cannot threaten me. It speaks volumes that my so- 'offspring' needed this many reinforcements just to come have a conversation with me as I lay dying. It tells me more that you sputter and make impotent threats on his behalf. Perhaps when you have lived as long as I, and gained the perspective of a life well lived in service, you might see things differently. For now, your words, as are your threats, are hollow and empty- a waste of time for the speaker as well as the audience.”
With a measured tone, Dox replied flatly. "You misunderstand. I'm not threatening you. You're threatening yourself. You're threatening whatever chance of a relationship you might have with Asa. That's entirely up to you, though you seem determined to destroy that all on your own."
"As for us, we will be there for them for as long as we can, and we will leave them with those memories of friendship and family to carry into eternity. That's not a curse, it's a gift. A gift they give us and we give them." Then the angry Romulan's tone went very dark as she turned slightly to the entity known as death.
"Of course, how long he has to live with his choices today are entirely up to you, aren't they?"
The living embodiment of Death pulled out an ornate golden pocketwatch from inside her coat and glanced at it. "Right now you're scheduled to pass on in about three months, local." She then slipped the watch back where it came from, followed by a dirty look. She was not fond of this man - his heart was none to bright and she was not inclined to weigh it against a feather. "Scheduled..."
After Death spoke, Dox's tone shifted to one of compassion. "What my friend is saying... Is you have as long as you choose... to do the right thing. To be a father worthy of Asa. To let them help you. And to help yourself in the process. Don't waste it."
Before he could reply, Asa came back into the room. They were carrying medical restraints for hands and feet, a chest strap, and leg strap. All were cushioned against any damage to the patient, but would hold all but the strongest of persons securely to the bed. Asa immediately activated the privacy filters on the room, ensuring that the glass was obscure and sound proofing was active. There was no way to secure the door, but Asa felt confident that push come to shove, Rita and Mnhei’sahe would step into the role of bouncer if needed.
Taking in the atmosphere in the room, Asa saw Keres glaring down Mnhei’sahe, Mnhei’sahe returning the glare with interest, Rita silently fuming, and Death glancing at a watch with a wicked grin on her face.
Of course in less than two minutes he has managed to piss off everyone in the room. Asa thought.
“I’m not sure what is going on here, but you do realize you are in a staring match with Death, right? I’m not being metaphorical here, Keres, you are literally staring down the Reaper. And I gotta say, it looks like she looking for an excuse to move your appointment up,” Asa said.
“Restraints? So your plan is to forcibly restrain me and force your medical treatment upon me, regardless of my wishes, so that you can enforce your will upon me. I see that you learned nothing from your time with me, and your friends are even more ill-informed. My beliefs don’t matter to you, my feelings don’t matter to you, just making yourself feel better, like the spoiled child you’ve always been.” Shaking his head sadly, Keres looked to Death. “If my choice is being removed from me, rather than let this ignorant whelp selfishly force his will upon me, take me now, and let’s be done with it. I go secure in my beliefs and my choices.”
With each new spiteful misgendering, Dox's anger grew. In the back of her mind, she wanted to do Deaths job for her and give him the pathetic martyrdom he wanted. But instead, she continued to twist her hands behind her back, her knuckles white.
Instead, she spoke with a voice that was a low whisper. "Your beliefs. You're really so sure you're right? She didn't come here to take you. She came here to support her friend. That concept doesn't crack into your head at all? Do you know that they've worked together? Saved lives together? Death is best friends with a doctor. But sure, you're right. You're great wisdom is unassailable."
Sitting down hard on the nearby recliner, Asa dropped their head into their hands, letting a few shuddering breaths wrack their form before responding.
Holding a forestalling hand towards Mnhei'sahe, Asa said softly, “The restraints are to show you what your future holds. Vahar’ai is not a kind disease, Father. It is going to eat you from the inside. You are already further along than most cases ever advance to be…most people let us treat this disease before now. The marks on your skin show that you are entering the terminal stage. In case your doctors haven’t already explained this to you- the terminal stage is marked by a dramatic increase in your pain levels, with many patients reporting their pain at a constant 8-9 out of 10, flaring up to and staying at a 10 towards the end. Your heart rate is going to become completely erratic. Sometimes you will feel like your heart is beating out of your chest. Other times you are going to feel like you can’t get it to beat. You will run a constant fever. You will be unable t get warm. Your body will start to go into convulsions, necessitating use of these restraints. I wanted you to look at them, to feel them. To know- this is the only future your current path has you on. You will end up tied to a bed, alone, in pain, dying. And because of the death precognition variant of the disease, you are going to know it. You are going to know with each horrible, pained breath how many more you have left. And it’s going to feel eternal. It’s going to be one of the worst ways an El-Aurian can go. And it’s completely avoidable. Do you really think I flew across the galaxy to come sit by your bedside just to take away your choices? To make myself feel better? Father, none of this makes me feel good. It hurts me to my very core to watch you suffer. Of the two of us, one of the Dael’s honors others choices and bodies…and father, we both know that isn’t you. I have built my career based on compassion. I don’t always like the people I treat, but Father, I always treat them. Please, please, let me help you. It-it doesn’t have to be this way. Please.”
Asa spoke gently, their voice full of sadness and heartache. None of this was going how they had hoped, but it was going about how they expected. Keres could make Asa so angry they could barely see straight, but Asa refused to be defined by that. Their choice to try and save this man would not be taken away by his own ignorance and contrary nature. Asa would not let him goad them into leaving him to his fate- not without a fight anyway.
With each new spiteful misgendering, Dox's anger grew. In the back of her mind, she wanted to do Deaths job for her and give him the pathetic martyrdom he wanted. But instead, she continued to twist her hands behind her back, her knuckles white.
Instead, she spoke with a voice that was a low whisper. "Your beliefs. You're really so sure you're right? She didn't come here to take you. She came here to support her friend. That concept doesn't crack into your head at all? Do you know that they've worked together? Saved lives together? Death is best friends with a doctor. But sure, you're right. You're great wisdom is unassailable."
“Your lack of experience and wisdom are evident in every word that you speak, as you can barely restrain your anger, Romulan,” when the old man said the word, he fairly spat it. Scorn was evident in his voice as he addressed the angry officer. “You are a slave to your emotions, lack control and meddle in affairs that are not your concern. But by all means, do continue to judge me. Your blink of an eye lifespan has surely imparted far more wisdom than my centuries of life.”
Sitting down hard on the nearby recliner, Asa dropped their head into their hands, letting a few shuddering breaths wrack their form before responding.
Holding a forestalling hand towards Mnhei'sahe, Asa said softly, “The restraints are to show you what your future holds. Vahar’ai is not a kind disease, Father. It is going to eat you from the inside. You are already further along than most cases ever advance to be…most people let us treat this disease before now. The marks on your skin show that you are entering the terminal stage. In case your doctors haven’t already explained this to you- the terminal stage is marked by a dramatic increase in your pain levels, with many patients reporting their pain at a constant 8-9 out of 10, flaring up to and staying at a 10 towards the end. Your heart rate is going to become completely erratic. Sometimes you will feel like your heart is beating out of your chest. Other times you are going to feel like you can’t get it to beat. You will run a constant fever. You will be unable to get warm. Your body will start to go into convulsions, necessitating use of these restraints.”
“I wanted you to look at them, to feel them. To know- this is the only future your current path has you on. You will end up tied to a bed, alone, in pain, dying. And because of the death precognition variant of the disease, you are going to know it. You are going to know with each horrible, pained breath how many more you have left. And it’s going to feel eternal. It’s going to be one of the worst ways an El-Aurian can die. And it’s completely avoidable. Do you really think I flew across the galaxy to come sit by your bedside just to take away your choices? To make myself feel better? Father, none of this makes me feel good. It hurts me to my very core to watch you suffer. Of the two of us, one of the Dael’s honors others choices and bodies…and father, we both know that isn’t you. I have built my career based on compassion. I don’t always like the people I treat, but Father, I always treat them. Please, please, let me help you. It-it doesn’t have to be this way. Please.”
Asa spoke gently, their voice full of sadness and heartache. None of this was going how they had hoped, but it was going about how they expected. Keres could make Asa so angry they could barely see straight, but Asa refused to be defined by that. Their choice to try and save this man would not be taken away by his own ignorance and contrary nature. Asa would not let him goad them into leaving him to his fate- not without a fight anyway.
There was a long pause while the old man considered the words of his youthful offspring, and the vast generation gap that separated them. When he spoke, the dying man’s voice was reedy and thin, almost pleading as he began.
“This isn’t what we wanted for you, Asa. You were born so late in life, and when your mother and your brother passed, we were all that was left of the family. But you hated me, you hated this world, and you were just so angry and headstrong, and you refused to listen to anyone but yourself- convinced that the wisdom of the elders was insignificant beside your own feelings. Your own view of the cosmos, formed by your scant few years of life, which you believed over anyone else’s.” Shaking his head, the old man chuckled. “So now I ask you, implore you, beg you to come back and spend a little time with me, to spend a little time with the colony, to devote yourself to tradition for a tiny bit of time.”
“What do I get? Scorn. Contempt. Disrespect,” He looked pointedly at Dox. “You don’t even have the courage to come alone- instead, here you are with your entourage to fight your battles for you, because you are still so damned afraid of me. Because you don’t respect my ways, my beliefs, my life. That’s too much for you, so instead you come to make demands. Demand that I adhere to your idiotic notions of gender. Demand that I put up with the disrespectful hooligans you bring with you. When that doesn’t work, you try to frighten me into giving you what you want- because it has always been about you, what you wanted and what you felt and thought. You are far and away the most ungrateful and selfish child I have ever had the misfortune to encounter, and I will be glad to see the last of you.”
“I’ll not risk my immortal soul so that you with your twenty-seven years of ‘wisdom’ can doom it with your medicine,” the old man fairly snarled. “You refuse to listen to any voice but your own, but hear me now- I know what is best for me. You think I have not already had a premonition of my death? Do you somehow imagine that I have lived all these centuries that I am unaware of how I will die screaming in agony? Your arrogance is nearly matched by that of your friends, Asa. But I will grant you one favor, as you would see it as such. I absolve you, I release you, I turn from you. You are no Dael of mine… you are without a clan, without a home, without family. You are a stranger to me… and as such, I would thank you to leave.”
“No,” Asa said, openly weeping, “No, I’m not. I have a family, one that loves me, with my fellow hooligans. I have a home, a place I lay my head each night and know the comfort is nearby, companionship is constant, and hope that each day I can help improve their lives as they improve mine. I’m sorry life is this way for you, Father. I’m truly sorry that in all your centuries you somehow came to the conclusion that the rest of the Galaxy is wrong and only you are correct. I can only imagine how lonely you must be, and I wish it was different for you. I was furious with you when Brennan and Mom died, I don’t deny that. I’m sure I was an unbearable child at times….that’s what children do. They act out when they are sad and need comfort. I wish things could have been different here, I truly do. I did hate you. I don’t deny that either. Your actions caused the death of my mother and brother. I used to think I could never forgive you for that, but I’ve met such amazing people since I left home, father. People who have taught me the power of forgiving others, the way a little bit of hope can change the universe, and how our heritage can shape the future that is to come. I do forgive you now, Father. I won’t have the hate of you in my heart any longer, I just won’t. Call that selfish if you will, but your actions no longer have any sway over my future. You also won’t rob me of my people. There are still people in our colony that have love for me, and I will see them before I depart. I can’t help but notice you are here alone, and I would encourage you to reflect on what that may be. I hope you find peace, Keres Dael. You won’t believe it, but I do love you. I hate you for it a bit still, but I do. Die well.”
That said, Asa stopped to wipe a tear from their eyes and began to gather their things back into their med-bag. They read Kere's file one more time, then placed it on the table near to his bed.
The minutiae of leave-taking done, Asa sat there numbly for a moment. They knew when they walked out this door it would be the last time they would see their father again. They knew how he would die, and they knew that somehow, they would be saddened by it, in spite of everything. Asa had come to Bajor to try and save this man, and they keenly felt the failure at their inability to do so.
Standing next to them, Dox put Asa's hand in hers, offering whatever comfort she could. She glanced at Death and Rita with her lips pursed tight, wishing there was more they could do to help.
Wrapping her arm about the slight frame of the frail physician, who in this moment looked more like a wounded child than ever, Rita Paris bent down to bring herself eye level with Asa Dael. When she spoke, it was in soft reassuring tones, that of a parent to a wounded child. “Are we done here, Doc? Ready to go?”
Leaning into the embrace, Asa nodded yes, then took a tentative step towards Keres, considering attempting a final hug from their father.
“Please, Keres, Daddy… there was love between us once. Can we honor the family we were and at least say goodbye properly?” the doctor asked, open want on their face.
His stubborn silence spoke volumes.
Death had finally had enough and was outright pissed at this point. Rising up over his bed, she drew all the light out of the room as she seemed to grow larger and more menacing, a long bony finger stretching out to point at the man. "I've heard just about enough out of you. Do you want to know what will happen to your cold black soul when I finally decide to take it? Every last ounce of pain and anguish that you've ever dealt to any living being will be dealt to you over and over constantly in an endless cycle of torment until your so called immortal soul is returned back into the cosmos at the end of time, never to bother anything else again."
"THAT is the hell that awaits you, you miserable excuse of a child. That is the torment that I and my kind have been sending your ilk to since the dawn of time itself. And since I don't think you've lived quite long enough to earn a bad enough hell, I'm not going to come for your soul in three months. No, I'm going to let you lay here until I collect Asa's soul, and let you build up another nineteen thousand years of torment both in this life and in the next. Meanwhile they will reclaim the true heritage of your people that you have thrown aside, and help heal this universe."
"THAT is your punishment from Death."
The pale woman then slowly shrank back to her former size and floated out of the room, small trails of mist streaming off of her.
As Death spoke, Dox held Asa's hand tighter. After a moment, the lights returned to their former levels. But while she felt terrible for Asa, she couldn't help but feel a measure of satisfaction with Death's words.
Reeling from the shock and implications of what Death had just said, Asa continued to lean on Rita and hold Mnhei’sahe’s hand as the trio awkwardly made their way to the door.
"Goodbye, Keres," Asa pronounced. "We... we won't meet again,"
