Finding the Bond
Location: Crew Quarters, Deck 8
It had been an extremely long day for Mnhei'sahe Dox that began at around 04:30 hours the day before with a particularly violent nightmare. But while it was now 23:45, she couldn't sleep.
From the dim doorway of the bedroom, she leaned against the frame watching Mona Gonadie sleeping in the nest they now shared. With each long breath, the Miradonian woman let out a soft, trilling sound Dox could feel through the wall that made her smile. But she didn't want her own tossing and turning to disturb Mona so Dox got up to let her sleep.
As Dox walked quietly into the other room, she silently closed the bedroom door and walked over to the replicator to order a warm milk before sitting down on the plush, green couch as she looked out the window at the stars. But it wasn't her nightmares that kept her awake now. It's what those nightmares had revealed.
Fearing her nightmare might have been more than a simple dream, Dox consulted with the ships guest and namesake Deity, the Goddess Hera. And while Hera had confirmed that Dox's dream was just a dream, Hera revealed a different discovery. A discovery that for months now, Dox's mind had been artificially opened. What Hera called the Eighth gate that opened Dox to what she called an Astral Dream Plain. It made her mind a beacon to telepatic beings. It was a gate that now opened, could never apparently be closed.
As a result, Dox's mind was uniquely opened to psychic invasion or attack. Completely unguarded in a way that normal mental defenses meant nothing towards. Instead, the only way Dox would be able to defend herself was to learn how to open the other seven doors in her mind. And the only way to do that was to reawaken the mental powers that Romulans turned away from thousands of years ago.
Hera offered to do this for Dox with her own power. The only other way would be with extensive mental training and study that could last a lifetime and still never work. But Dox was frightened. One way or another, the red-headed Romulan was reluctant to let another God, even a friend, into her mind. But in the meantime, Dox's mind remained open. A beacon shining for beings like Hera… or the God Anansi that once tormented Dox... to be drawn to.
As she sat, staring into the sky, she was reminded to Rita Paris’ advice that she was more than capable of learning what she needed in due time with proper effort. Looking out, she could identify 7 inhabited star systems, the Vortan Cluster and the A'Naru Nebula. So, of course, it meant Rita Paris was right. Dox had memorized thousand of star charts as a young woman. By the time she was thirteen, she spoke not only her native Rihan, but Vulcan, Terran English and even Klingon. She was a pilot and a fighter and could repair a warp core or a Cloaking device in a pinch.
So now all she had to do was learn how her own mind worked. And how Romulan minds worked over four thousand years ago to close a gate that shouldn't be opened in the minds of mortals. As she thought of it, she chuckled slightly. Tomorrow she would put in a request with Sonak, the Vulcan Kolinahr master that could possibly teach her to master her own mind.
And she would begin working with Mona as well on her own Miradonian meditation techniques. After all, Mona had told her earlier that Miradonian's had been able to establish telepathic and empathic links with their bonded mates. And Mona was bonded to Dox. The idea brought a smile to Dox's face. Even more so then the prospect of protecting her mind, she considered the idea that there was one person she wanted to share her mind with.
That was a goal worth working towards. So tomorrow would be a new day and she would begin going down a new path. As she thought, looking out into space, she heard the door to the bedroom softly open.
Mona softly padded out of the bedroom and snuggled up to Dox tightly, her head resting against her lover's back as she breathed slowly and rhythmically. "You couldn't sleep?"
Leaning slightly into Mona, Dox smiled. "Yeah. It's kind of hard to get my head to stop... thinking. It's all a little overwhelming."
"Yeah, I know how that is." Mona nuzzled a bit before speaking up again. "I woke up because of the dream again and found you out of bed. Is there anything I can do to help you so you can get some rest at least?"
"You do more than I can tell you." Dox scooched on the couch more to lean towards Mona. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. Talk to me about it."
Mona let out a shuddering breath as she clung tighter to Dox. "I was back in the cages. They were taking my three siblings away. I was the runt so they left me to grow. We all knew what this meant... I just... They did the same thing to our parents... Made us watch... Then... I had to watch my brothers and sister... They spit roast..." Mona couldn't go on, pressing her face tightly to Dox's back and shuddering.
Turning around, Dox grabbed Mona tight and pulled her in close, lightly petting the back of her head. "Shhhh..." She whispered lightly. "You're here. I've got you."
So caught up in her own issues, Dox felt slightly ashamed of herself as she tried to calm Mona. "I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to take some of that pain. Hold some of it for you."
"You worry that I'll leave you if I see too deep into you, right?" Mona looked up into Dox's eyes, tears beading on the fine feathers on her face. "Maybe I see a bit of myself in you. Maybe I'm afraid you'll see too deep into me, you won't like what you find, and you'll run away. That's why you'll always have all of my love, no matter what."
Pulling the corner of her nightshirt up, Dox patted Mona's eyes. "There's nothing I could see in you that would do anything but make me love you more."
She put her hands on either side or Mona's cheeks, Dox rested her forehead against Mona's, her own eyes beginning to swell. "And... and I'm not... I'm not afraid anymore"
Putting her hand below her right breast where the Romulan heart was, Dox continued. "You already live in here..." then she moved her hand up to her own head. "And you will always be here too. And we'll fill each other's cracks so we'll be whole together, right?"
"That's right. Together, part of each other, forever," Mona replied, thrumming softly as she leaned in closer and rested her forehead against her Minay's. "Our hearts as one. Our minds as one. Our souls as one. We fill the cracks in each other and become the divine whole we were meant to be." As she spoke, a warmth spread through her and her heart felt more whole and her whole being felt more at peace.
Feeling that thrumming that felt as natural to her now as her own heart beating, Dox closed her eyes. "You told me your people could eventually create bonds... telepathically and emotionally... when they mate. I don't... I don't know if that's something I'll ever be able to do... but I want to try. Show me."
"Calm your mind, know who you are, know who I am, know that our bond is strong... And just reach out with your mind to mine. Feel my emotions and love for you and I will feel you." As she spoke, Mona massaged Dox's hands softly to help relax and soothe her.
Slowing her breathing down, Dox listened to Mona's own breaths. She could feel Mona's pulse through the Miradonian's lightly feathered hands. She tried to reach out to feel more in the darkness of her minds eye untill all she could feel was Mona's thrumming.
She pictured that thrumming as a light in that darkness, pulsing like a flame with Mona's heartbeat. At first it was a faint, deep red. Then it flared to a rich blue as Dox's eyes snapped open and she pulled her head back ever so slightly. "I... saw something. A light. I... I saw it before when you were holding me after my nightmare."
"Shhh... I felt you as well." Mona smiled and kissed at Dox's hands. "Did you feel anything else?"
"I... I don't know... I could feel a pulsing. I could... your thrumming. I could feel it like it was coming from... well... It felt like it was coming from all around me. And from inside." Dox replied, a little excited.
Mona smiled her smile she saved just for her Minay. "That's good. That's the bond. You're starting to be able to feel it."
Closing her eyes again, Dox tried to bring herself back to where she was but it was harder after that moment of excitement. "What... what do you feel? What's it like for you?"
Mona paused in her thrumming for a moment to explain. "The thrumming I make resonates with the bonding. When we touch like this, I feel you as a red flare of emotions mingling with my blue."
Overwhelmed, Dox let her excitement get the better of her. "That blue light. I saw it in my minds eye. That was... that was you?" Tears of happiness started down her cheeks as she was shaken by the realization as the light in her own mind returned, flaring red as it seemed to swirl around the blue she felt for a moment.
"That's how I pour my love into your cracks," Mona replied, returning to her meditations and thrumming to help her Minay find her way.
In the dimly lit room, the two women held each other. Their heads pressed together, with only the faint thrumming from Mona could be heard in the silence. In their mind, swirls of red and blue danced between them.