Diametrically Opposed Relaxation Methods
Posted on Mon Jul 8th, 2019 @ 3:31pm by Lieutenant Mona Gonadie & Baroness 3rd Class Sarika & Commander Rita Paris & Lieutenant Commander Thex sh'Zoarhi & Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox & Petty Officer 3rd Class S'Rina Wil'I'Ams & Petty Officer 3rd Class V'Nus Wil'I'Ams
Edited on on Mon Jul 22nd, 2019 @ 9:08am
Mission:
Fractured Fairy Tales
Location: The Artan Family Fortress
Timeline: 2396, after the Tribunal
The plans for the separate Bachelorette parties for the wedding of Lieutenant Mnhei'sahe Dox and Ensign Mona Gonadie had been laid out, and quite well detailed, by the Hera's fulsome first officer, Rita Paris.
Because, while Mnhei'sahe and Mona were both extremely skilled pilots and inventive tinkerers who were deeply in love, Bachelorette parties tended to be very much about relaxation. And Rita Paris knew both of her friends well enough to know that they had very different ways of relaxing.
So, while the U.S.S. Hera was still docked at the Captain's Artan Family Fortress, they would take advantage of the amenities available. Paris would escort Mona, the Captain's wife Maica, and Chief Engineer and very pregnant Andorian Thex to a luxurious spa retreat for the evening. All the amenities for a perfectly relaxing evening of serene bliss, before the biggest of big days tomorrow.
In somewhat stark contrast, Rita knew the red-headed Romulan pilot Mnhei'sahe Dox even better. Dox relaxed in a very different way, which is how she found herself walking through the promenade of the station with the two aggressive officers who were the Hera's Klingon sisters of security, S'Rina and V'nus.
Having met with the sisters often to spar and train, they all knew one another well enough to make them the ideal candidates to watch the bride-to-be's back, considering what their plans entailed. But the trio was largely quiet as they walked in civilian clothes through the busy station.
Dox was wearing black hiking boots, black cargo pants and a snug black turtleneck with her favorite short, green denim jacket over it. Her comm badge was concealed beneath the jacket as they saw who they were meeting for the evening.
As it turned out, Captain Enalia Telvan and her Adjunct, the Baroness Schwein von Alcott had both expressed an interest in joining Dox, an Artan Baroness as well, but couldn't get away from the rather pressing business of restructuring the Artan pirate family in the wake of the tribunal. But the Captain and Baroness offered an alternate suggestion, and waiting together in front of a particularly seedy looking drinking establishment was the young, silver-haired Baroness with cybernetic arms, Sarika. And at her side, Captain Magnus of the Artan family.
Sarika was in a red and black long coat with a high neck that covered her thin frame and most of her cybernetics. Leather gloves covered her hands to try to conceal the rest. As for Magnus, it seemed the large Trill man never went anywhere without that blue and gold jacket of his, and judging by the added gold stitching to it and his pants, he likely had a few more war wounds since the last time he and Dox had met.
Sarika was the first to wave in greeting to the trio, easily spotting them in the neon-lit alleyway. "What are you bitches doing lollygagging around these parts? This here's Artan turf, you know." Mocking seriousness for just a moment, she broke out laughing before slapping Dox on the shoulder. "Come on now! Let's get you good and drunk and see how many faces we can punch! A few of our crews run these rows, so we can have all the fun we want tonight!"
The two Klingon Amazons flanking Dox turned to each other as V'nus whispered in her native tongue to her sister. "The Commander was right. This one will be difficult to not want to kill."
"Did she just call us what I think she called us? Is this not an assault on both our honor and that of the Lieutenant?" S'Rina shot back, fists balling in preparation for the first brawl of the night.
"No, look- the Lieutenant is not offended," V'Nus observed, ever the calmer of the duo. "Perhaps it is a pirate... thing. We are not here to defend honor, my sister. Remember our orders and follow them, and the Commander will be pleased. That is how we defend our honor this night, S'Rina."
Under her breath, S'Rina muttered a few select Klingon curses, and returned to keeping an eye out for ambushes or threats to the wedding party.
"Ah, but let's try not to get the local authorities involved again, please?" Magnus rolled his eyes as the cybernetic terror seemed to want to cause all the mayhem. "If we try to burn the district down again..."
"Right right... No fires, murders, rapes, theft, wanton destruction of property..." Sarika listed off the offenses on one hand.
The Klingon sisters exchanged expressions that made it clear that they were surprised by the list of offenses, and the ridged brows came down a bit more in determination.
"And, uh, no getting drunk for me, Sarika. Synthehol is good," Dox commented awkwardly. While the Romulan pilot could drink with the best of them, she had been making serious efforts to curb her drinking as it had begun to become problematic, spurring self-destructive thoughts and actions and she wanted to be better for Mona. But she was tempted, to be sure.
There was a look of relief on Magnus' face, but Sarika was disappointed. It didn't dampen her spirits for long though. "Aww... That's less fun... But that means more booze for me, and we can drink more of it, right?" With her question, she poked one of the Klingon sisters in the ribs and pointed towards their first bar. "Now let's get drinkin'! The tab's on the Family, so don't worry about pukin'!"
There was a rumbling growl from the Klingon sisters as S'Rina reached for the finger that had poked her, even as Dox interposed herself to try to smooth out the situation. "Sounds like a plan, Baroness. Lead the way, and let's not get the fun started too soon, ladies..."
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"Let's get the fun started, ladies!"
In a significantly quieter and more ornately decorated wing of the Artan orbital fortress, the Hera's other bride to be, Ensign Mona Gonadie, was walking with a bag over her shoulder to a decidedly different destination. At her side was her longtime friend, Commander Rita Paris.
With the duo was the ship's Chief Engineer, Lieutenant Commander Thex sh'Zorathi and the wife of the ship's Captain, the holographic lifeform, Maica. The four woman, all dressed casually and comfortably, made their way to a posh-looking and an entirely luxurious spa for an evening of extreme pampering.
Despite the goal of going to a relaxation spa, Thex was having a hard time relaxing. With her current condition and her now officially being on medical leave, she was slowly being driven crazy. Not being able to do her work or hobbies was getting on her nerves, so hopefully, this would help her relax.
"Welcome to the Misty Visions relaxation spa," explained the gender-neutral holographic attendant. "Here we will tend to the mind, the body and the soul, to relax you and prepare you to face life's hardships with a serene and peaceful experience. Before we move into the hot springs to begin washing your troubles away, may we offer you a refreshment? We have an extensive selection of sparkling water, or perhaps some chilled Arborean light wine?"
"Ah... Some of your Andorian Berry Infused Sparkling Ice Shelf water for me, please," Mona requested, squinting at first the menu, then at the holographic attendant. She then shook her head and instead focused on those with her, which also happened to include a holographic life form.
Sighing, the brightly plumed Miradonian hung her head. "Right about now would be a good time to not have the visual acuity of a small sensor platform. Maybe I should invent eyewear that filters light down to where holographics don't look like ghostly images to me."
Maica's expression at hearing this confession was slightly horrified. "That... sounds horrific... You can't even see me like everyone else can?"
"I could count your scanlines, color depth, and refresh rate if I wanted to," Mona confirmed. "Just at a glance though? They're all at least thirty times higher than this guy so you have that going for you." As she confirmed that last, she motioned to the attendant getting them checked in.
Patting Maica's shoulder, Rita offered a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Maica. To plain old human eyes you look like the rest of us biologicals. Well, except for the figure that exists in defiance of gravity, and the flawless skin, and the perfect teeth and the hair that always looks like you planned it that way..." Realizing she was talking her way out of reassurance, Paris changed topics. "So we'll have what the bride to be is having, please. And someone mentioned hot springs?"
"Indeed madame. We offer the finest in volcanic hot springs, and you will find out cleansing mud baths will make your pores tingle and your skin practically glow. If you would care to accompany me?" the attendant gestured down a hallway and began moving in that direction.
"Thex," Rita murmured, keeping her voice down to express concern. "Hot springs won't be a problem for you and the wee ones, will it?"
"Not at all. In fact, on Andor there's a sacred hot spring on the north pole that said to help expecting mothers." The Andorian said as she took a sip from her water.
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"That Synthohol lacks HONOR!" S'Rina shouted towards the bride to be in the seedy dive bar Sarika had led the group into. They were already several drinks in and the effects were beginning to show- at least, for S'Rina, the more outwardly aggressive and expressive of the pair. The muscular Klingon security officer took a swig of her massive flagon of Bloodwine before slamming the still mostly filled cup on the bar in front of Dox. "Here! This is a WARRIOR'S drink! And I know you to be a warrior!!"
Looking at the huge drink while her Klingon companion shouted an order to the bartender for another, Dox's resolve to not drink was waning considerably, not wanting to be the person at the party for her that was dragging it down. And after all, she thought, I'm out here to let go and just relax. She looked up and met the eyes of the Klingon sisters and the pirates. She didn't want to lose any of the respect she had earned in their training sparring sessions in the Hera's gym, or throughout the Tribunal. Both worlds needed to see for themselves that she could stand with them and party.
Grabbing the mug, Dox shouted back a toast that directly translated to 'may your blood scream'at the Klingon security officers in their native Klingon tongue in which she was fluent.
"IwlIj jachjaj!!" And with that, she took a massive chug of the bloodwine.
"Q'APLA!" the Klingon security officers shouted in unison, and S'Rina clapped the lieutenant on the back. "Now we have wine, so we need song!
Sarika cheered as well, downing her mug of firewine while Magnus just shook his head, nursing his cider. "Barkeep! Another round and fire up the music machine! We're singing all the songs!" The cybernetic pirate was anything, if not enthusiastic.
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"Would you all like some soothing orchestral music to ease your mind and aid in your relaxation?" the attendant who hovered nearby offered solicitously as the quartet bathed in the hot springs, feeling the tension melt away.
Maica glanced up from her resting spot on the rocks in the hot spring to address him. "Ooh, I just loaded up the latest Koldarian orchestrations in the fortress database the other day. Why don't we listen to one of them?"
"Sounds good to me," Mona replied, not even moving from her spot, almost floating in the volcanic spring waters, cucumber slices over her eyes. "I have to ask though... You're Holographic... Is this actually relaxing to you?"
Maica made a selection on the datapad that the attendant offered and nodded as the soft, lilting music began to play. "Rest and relaxation is just as necessary to me as any biological life form. It may not work any tension out of my muscles, but the psychological effects are the same. This may surprise you, but I actually sleep and dream as well."
Mona pursed her lips for a moment before replying. "I... Think I may have a few misconceptions I need to reconsider... I knew you were a real person, but I didn't know how much like an organic life form you were."
"I'm guessing, and please do correct me if I'm wrong, Maica, but it makes sense to me that the relaxation part comes from being amongst other sentients out in the universe." Rita Paris speculated, the topic of conversation having piqued her curiosity. As she spoke, the reeds and strings equivalent of the alien orchestra began to play, slowly building in the background, accompanying the conversation.
"As a social being, you thrive on contact with other sentient life because instead of being self-contained- I mean, again, I make broad assumptions, but I imagine that you have access to any number of works of literature and art and music. You recall them with crystal clarity in their entirety. But it's interacting with other sentient life and sharing your thoughts, opinions, considerations, likes and dislikes that is far more interesting and satisfying to you. No one is an island, as they say?" Speaking frankly and honestly, Rita hoped she wasn't horribly wrong or being somehow offensive.
Maica chuckled softly - a somewhat musical sound. "That's it, actually. Mentally social relaxation and good company. It's one of the reasons I have a massage parlor on the Hera. I get to meet and talk with all sorts of wonderful people. Though I have to admit, it does feel a bit unusual being on the other side of the spa treatment."
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"BREAK ON THROUGH, TO THE OTHER SIDE!! BREAK ON THROUGH, TO THE OTHER SIDE!!BREAK!! BREAK!! BREAK!! BREAK!! BREAK!! BREAK!! BREAK!! BREAK!! BREAK!!!! Standing on the small, rickety stage in the corner of the crowded bar, Dox crouched arm in arm with Sarika as the two slightly inebriated Baronesses shouted out the end of an ancient Earth song.
For the Romulan woman who only spent a few years on Earth reluctantly before joining Starfleet Academy, the one affectation that she had picked up was an appreciation for the louder side of the musical spectrum. Laughing, Dox and Sarika hopped down from the stage and grabbed what was likely her fourth bloodwine. "Who's next?"
"Your tale of storming the gates to break through is a lovely ballad for children, Lieutenant," V'Nus declared as she approached the stage, taking the microphone. "Let me sing you a warrior's song."
As the Klingon death metal began to thunder through the speakers, S'Rina headbanged along, her long plaited hair whipping up and down in a beaded wave that began to irritate nearby bargoers as it slapped at them in passing. By the time the elder sister on stage began singing in a long, low roar, S'Rina had already thrown the first elbow, and begun what was to her a simple extension of Klingon music- a mosh pit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE9YtatlXVE
"Nice! That's 'Lw Ro'!" Dox turned to Sarika, shouting over the road as best as possible. " Basically 'Death Fist'... I've got a mix I train to that has three of their albums on it!" As she spoke, a drunken patron was flung towards her by the chaos of the pit and she pulled herself and her bloodwine just out of the way of the flailing form.
"HA!!! Missed me, ya' Kreldanni..." The seemingly drunk Romulan shouted right as she caught the elbow of another mosher in the jaw.
Catching that their charge had just been elbowed in the face, V'Nus leapt from the stage to grab the drunk brawler by the front of his shirt. "THAT face is off limits! You touch her face and I touch YOURS!" At which point the rowdy Klingon dropped the man to the deck with a quick and powerful headbutt, followed by a fearsome amplified roar into the microphone as the chaos intensified.
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"The stimu-scalp massage eases the tensions, of the day, smoothing out those forehead wrinkle lines and just carrying you away to a land of peaceful coexistence and universal harmony," the soothing voice of the masseuse intoned as they worked.
"You know, ladies, I really had no idea just how much I needed this," Paris admitted, sipping on a fruity concoction, basking in the simulated warm sunshine with hot rocks on her chakra points and her cares being massaged away while someone took a dermal disruptor to the callouses on her feet that built up over time from her habit of wearing heels. "I wonder if the barhoppers are having a good time?"
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Hopping over the top of the bar, Dox slid into a kick, slamming against a drunken Bajoran freighter pilot that was trying to smash Captain Magnus over the head with a half-empty mug of Irish stout.
Appearing to be just a little drunk now, but focused from the action, the red-headed Romulan let out a laugh as she scrambled back over the top and shouted to Sarika, who was busy dealing with some drunkards of her own, "Commander Paris was right, I really had no idea just how much I needed this!"
With which she threw herself over on top of a trio of brawlers, landing elbow-first on the men with a wicked grin and a throaty laugh.
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“So he looks at me, and says ‘Your demeanor and manner are unbecoming a lady. You remind me of a harpy- and so a harpy you shall become!’ Then he waves his hand, and- I kid you not- my arms grow out into feathered wings, my feet turn into giant chicken feet and my body gets covered with feathers. So I look at him and try to talk, and all that comes out is this horrendous screeching. I notice that he doesn’t seem to like the sound, so I just start yelling at him, which is all coming out as this horrendous shrieking, and finally he reneges and changes me back, because he said I made too good a harpy!”
Finishing up her tale of one of the bizarre adventures she had experienced in her varied and eventful career, Rita Paris laughed musically, and the bridal party laughed with her. She had taken to round robin storytelling, to include everyone, and all involved were now caught up in telling unbelievable adventures they had experienced in their careers. Which of course tended to be comedic in hindsight, spreading good-natured laughter in their wake.
“Okay Mona, your turn. Weirdest away mission you’ve ever been on…?
"Oh goodness... It would have to be the scanning mission in the Danu with my Minay over that worldship. We ran across some sort of winged primates led by a green woman wearing a black robe riding a cleaning instrument using ignited fecal matter as projectiles." Mona chuckled softly at the memory. "You really do run into some odd things out there, don't you? Ah, Maica... Since you're photonic, do you go on away missions?"
"Ah, no, not really..." Maica giggled at the question. "But I could tell you about my weirdest sibling. Most of us choose our basic form or at least something similar. One is an Orion male, another a genderless Bolian, another a Vulcan female... But one of us decided that all of that was too non-conforming and now resides in Memory Alpha as a column of intelligent light, acting as a librarian for the vast knowledge repositories of not only the Federation, but for the public Klingon, Romulan, Cardassian, Ferengi, and a few other databases out there."
"Now that's impressive..." Mona couldn't imagine anyone abandoning every identifiable form and feature and just existing as pure light like that. "Ah, Thex, it's your turn. What's your weirdest away mission?"
" Has to be the time when I was the tekkie for the intel mission on..." The Andorian said before pausing. " Well, the locations still classified. The mission was spying on some members of the Orion syndicate one of whom did all of her business in one of the local Orion clubs. So Intel made one of the best listening devices ever made. This thing could detect DNA, sound, see-through cloaks and even leave a trace to follow targets with. Well, the team gets it installed and it refuses to work. Now given I was the team member with the most tech skills they needed me to take a look at it, but given it was located in the middle of an Orion dance club I couldn't just walk right in and fix it. "
The andorian took a sip of her water before she continued. " So I have to get week crash course in Orion dancing, mannerisms and learn how to hide repair tools in an Orion dancing outfit. Day of the operation comes and I get brought in as a supposed wannabe dancer. When I finally get a chance to look at the bug and it turns out that the idiot who installed it had out the power circuitry in the wrong way round. I'm relieved I didn't just burst out laughing on the spot."
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Several levels away from the chaos that the bridal shower had caused, Dox, Sarika, Magnus, V'Nus and S'Rina laughed over a round of drinks in a new bar. Once the situation had gotten too rowdy and station security had been called, the towering Klingon sisters had sprung into action to enact the most important order they had been given by Security Commander Rita Paris: Make sure Mnhei'sahe Dox didn't get arrested the night before her wedding.
So, even though retreat from a fight was anathema to Klingon warriors, they were also dedicated Starfleet security officers who understood that their honor this night was fulfilled in protecting their very happy, quite drunk charge. The red-headed Romulan looking across the bar into the mirrored barback, rubbing her cheek. "Hnaev... are you sure your dermal regenerator took care of the black eye, 'Rika? I can't believe I walked right into that Nausiccan's fist like an amateur. Mona's gonna kill me if this shows tomorrow."
Sarika just shrugged it off as she downed some more firewine. "Aye, it did. I'd be more worried about the hangover, myself. As for those Kreldanni bitches, I'll make sure there's no hard feelin's next time we do business with 'em."
Taking a swig of her during, Dox chuckled. "And you curse in Romulan, too. Imirrhlhhse... I knew I liked you for a lot of reasons, 'Rika."
"No one got arrested, the bars are still standing, and nothing is on fire... On top of all that, we got in a great bar fight with some old friends, some new friends, and drank a lot of grog." Magnus mused, the bear of a Trill grinning ear to ear. "I'd call tonight a rousing success so far. Wanna finish off the night strong with a combat kettle?"
"A combat kettle? What's that, Captain?" Dox asked, cricking her eyebrow at Magnus.
"It's the best way to remember a night and forget your worries!" Magnus waved to the bartender with a shit-eating grin. "Barkeep! Bring us a combat kettle for the bride to be!"
Within moments, the equivalent of a small keg was slammed on the counter in front of Dox and the barkeep started pouring bottles of booze from all planets into it. About a third of the way up he stopped and filled another third with rice wine. He then topped it off with a red fruit punch and ice. Grinning, he dropped in a straw for each of them and one of those little martini umbrellas that just looked ridiculous hanging off the side. "Enjoy!"
"THAT is a combat kettle!" Magnus declared proudly as Sarika was laughing her ass off. "The straws are so we can help you drink it. Maybe."
Her eyes went wide as Dox took in the ludicrous sight. "By Al'thindor..."
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“Great bird of the galaxy, I really needed that. Outstanding suggestion make the bachelorette party a spa day, Maica,” the ebullient Rita Paris declared as the quartet made their way back to the Hera at a slow and relaxed pace. “That was far better than a loud bar and drinking and brawling and who knows what else. I’ll be surprised if Dox doesn’t show up tomorrow for the wedding with a new tattoo…”
The look on Mona's face was one of horror as Rita said those words. "Drinking? New tattoo? Oh Moon Goddess protect her... If she comes back with a black eye or something that ruins the lines of her dress..." She fussed for a moment before taking a deep breath and letting the relaxation of the spa return her to her normal zen calm. "But she's responsible... I'm sure she's okay, and not loudly roaring some metal song, stumbling through the streets with some random Baroness."
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The promenade of the Artan Family Fortress was all but empty now, with most of the shops, restaurants and bars closed for the night. It was a quiet and somewhat serene scene, but for the entourage of women making their way back to the docked starship.
The Klingon sisters, V'Nus and S'Rina were engaged in a song with the silver-haired pirate, Sarika, whom the pair had decided not to kill as she fought and drank well.
At the front of the group, Mnhei'sahe walked next to the Artan Captain Magnus, the man that officially inducted her into the organization as a Baroness and bequeathed her personal ship to her. In spite of the amount of alcohol she had drank, the young Romulan woman looked calm and fairly clear-headed.
Magnus was also unusually clear-headed, having only drank beer and ale most of the night. He still had a decent buzz going from helping with that combat kettle, but he could see that Dox was not as smashed as he would have expected, unlike the other three that were singing some Klingon metal song at the top of their lungs as they headed back to port.
"You had a hypo of anti-intoxicants before heading out, didn't you?" he asked with a sly grin, realizing she had used the same trick he often did when he went out drinking with crewmates so he could make sure they didn't get arrested or worse.
Looking up at the bear of a Trill, Dox had a wry grin. She gestured back at the singing Klingons far enough away not to hear anything, even if they weren't singing. "Don't tell them, please. It took me sparring with them every week and occasionally winning to get what respect I've got out of them as it is."
Then she looked back at the gentle face of the man who exuded an almost fatherly feeling. "I... don't like who I become when I drink too much, Captain. And Mona... my bond-mate... We share an empathic and now telepathic bond when we touch. I won't share that with her. I don't ever want her to feel me when I'm like that, so I don't drink anymore."
"Ah, understandable. That's a choice I can respect. Hopefully you got in enough fun tonight for a good long while then, aye?" Magnus gave her a fatherly pat on the back, his meaty hand covering a surprising portion of it.
"I did, thank you." Dox got slightly melancholy as she talked, bit there was something about the man that she trusted. That drew her out a little. "We have a lot in common. We're both pilots at heart. We both like fixing things. But this... This part of me, how I grew up. It's different. I'M different. There's a part of me that will always fit in here maybe a little better."
Then she looked back up and smiled. "But just a part. I think I finally know where my real home is. And it's where I want to be." Gazing up at the genial giant, Mnhei'sahe smiled even broader. "Thank you again, Captain."
“When we lost the Princess to Starfleet, many of us feared we’d lose her, that she would change. I feared that she would be lost to us, and that Baroness von Alcott wouldn’t be able to keep her safe from our enemies,” Magnus admitted quietly. “But meeting her crew and her officers, taking their measure and seeing you all working together to protect her, I think I understand a bit more now why she chose Starfleet. Now I know that our queen is in good hands.”
Reaching over, the tall Trill captain pulled the short Romulan into a side shoulder hug. “Thank you for that, Baroness Dox. You’ve put an old man’s fears to rest.”
Leaning into the hug, Dox smiled. "She protects us, we protect her. It's really simple... The Hera is a family, Captain."
Smiling, Dox turned over her shoulder to look at the sisters and Sarika still laughing amongst themselves. "And this family. The Artan family. This is a part of that family as well. And we are stronger together. Greater than the sum or our parts. And we will continue to fight for that family we have chosen. I will stand with Enalia Telvan until my time is done, we all will because she'll stand with us."
Then, as she spoke, she let out a chuckle. "If only there were some METAPHOR for that happening tomorrow. Which I seriously need to get some rest before." Looking up, she smiled awkwardly. "You'll be there, right?"
“As I understand it, your mother is walking you down the aisle. If that weren’t the case, I’d walk you down the aisle myself, Baroness,” the broad-shouldered pirate captain explained, his deep voice filled with sincerity. “There were some doubts when the Princess brought you into the ranks- but you’ve definitely earned your place in the Artan family fleet.”
For the first time in a while, Mnhei'sahe Dox didn't have any doubts of her own as she nodded and said 'Thank you'. She no longer, at least for the moment, felt torn between the two worlds of her service to Starfleet and her place in the Artan family. By maintaining her honor as a Starfleet officer above all else, she was able to be the best she could be of both families in the Tribunal. And moving forward, that's what she was going to be.
As she continued to walk, her smile was genuine and her heartfelt. She knew who she was and who she wanted to be. And beyond it all, who she wanted to be with throughout it all. And that smile got just a little bit wider.
