Darby O'Dell

Posted on Wed Mar 25th, 2020 @ 10:52am by Ensign Briaar Gavarus & Ensign Fiona O'Dell
Edited on on Wed Mar 25th, 2020 @ 10:55am

Mission: Back Down the Long Ladder
Location: Planet Mariposa, the O'Dell Estate
Timeline: 2397

Walking the grounds of the O’Dell estate, the greenery was lush, the hills were rolling the wind was blustery and cold, and Fiona O’Dell was catching her family up on her memories of the place. Stories of her youth, of times with family, good and bad, and reverie was heavy in the air, until they came to the livestock pastures, when Minnie caught sight of Shaggies, the long-haired highland cows who had been imported from earth centuries before, who were still quite content living on an alien world over a hundred lightyears from their planet of origin.

Letting loose a delighted squeal, the young Minotaur released both her parent’s hands, and charged across the firld toward her distant relatives, delighted to see lifeforms that more closely resembled her than her mismatched parents, neither of whom did she physically resemble in the least.

While the cows were unimpressed with the small bipedal bovine, neither were they disturbed by her as she moved in on one, reaching out to stroke the thick fur and moo at the low intelligence sapient.

“I think mebbe the talk aboot what we do wi’ cow, pigs an’ checkens likely should wait until she’s older. I dinna want to give her nightmares, aye?” Fiona muttered to Briaar as they picked their way across the field. Which was when they heard a voice of dissent ahead.

“Hey! What d’ye think yuir doin over there, aye? Fook off!” said a voice that sounded surprisingly like Fiona’s.

"Yeah, that's probably a good ide... the hell?!" Briaar turned at the sound of the strange yet familiar voice. "Uh... you know this wriggler, Fee? Sure as hell looks related."

Stomping towards them, Fiona was on the other side of Briaar, meaning that even HER fiery locks were obscured by her partner's ponderous paunch and hidden from view of the oncomer, who looked no bigger than the temperamental test pilot herself. And in spite of the skillful mastery of profanity, the voice came from a boy that looked no older than 10.

"You 'eard me, ya' great pink nightmare! Git offa 'r land fore I fetch a cattle prod n' give ye' a right good reason t' run!" The tiny, red-haired fireplug yelled, pointing at Gavarus as Fiona peaked her head around her partner's belly.

“Alreet alreet, calm yuirself, young master O’Dell. The wee one’s nae hurtin innyone, and neither’s me partner, who’s big enough ta squash ye where ye stand, so I’d curb that tongue a tetch if I were ye, aye?” Fiona rolled out her deeper brogue to communicate with a local, who clearly spoke the same language in more ways than one. Stepping forward in front of her porcine partner, the short spitfire contemplated her obvious relative, who looked more like her than most of her brothers. “Noow, me question fuir ye is, who are you to be so free with threats of cattle prods, when I’m walkin the lands I was born upon, aye?”

"Who m' I? Who'r ye t' be claimin' t' be..." Looking Fiona up and down, the young ginger scratched his rump while looking up at Briaar then back to Fiona. "Ahhh, well, me name's Darby. Darby O'Dell. Me da's Wallace O'Dell. An' I'm bettin' from the sight'a the two'a ya, that yuir me... cousin, Fiona? Th'one that th' new Laird banished or some such shite."

“Waaaaaahhhhl, if Wally’s your da, that makes me yuir Auntie Fiona, Darby me old bean,” Fiona explained with a winning smile. “Aye, I think Duncan mighta blown aboot some such banishment or whatnot. But until he’s legally declared laird of the O’Dell’s his proclamation’s worth jack all, and- Minerva! Dinna be steppin’ in the manure, child! Watch yuir hooves, little one, aye?”

“That’s me daaaater Minerva, and this here’s me paaaartner Briaar. No, we’re nae married, and aye, she’s adopted,” Fiona explained, anticipating the next few questions from the precocious youngster who was proving that clearly some things ran in the family.

"Yeeeeaaah, that's... that's a cowpie she's standing in, isn't... Minnie!" Briaar looked over as her shoulders slumped. "Wait... I think that's... I hope that's just dirt."

Meanwhile, Darby looked up at the portly porcine with a confused expression. "So, yuir my aunt, n'... yuir paaaartner is a pig? And that's a wee shaggy walkin' on two legs in a little dress over dere? Izzis what Uncle Duncan is all red in th' face aboot?"

"Ya' know, I'm a Tellarite. I'm not an actual pig. I'm an engineer from a race that figured out warp drive when frickin' humanity was still crapping in holes in the ground when you weren't flinging it at each other. Seriously, this pig shit is getting old." Briaar grumbled, waving her arms in the air before heading into the pasture to try and grab Minnie before she really did step in manure.

"Wipes are in the diaper bag, aye?" Fiona called after the portly porcine, before walking over to address her nephew. "Aye... she's an alien from another world, and aye, she is kind of a space swine. And aye, her an' the wee shaggy in a dress are likely what yuir uncle is all red in the face aboot. It hits Catholic forbidden bingo a few times over, and it surely ain't what was expected of me."

"But that one there, she's saved me life more times than I c'n count. She's dead smart, strong, and she kin drink inny man under the table. But she's kind, and shy, and she cares fuir me in a way that nivvir makes demands, an' appreciates me for who I am. I know, sounds all mushy to ye, but tis important, Darby O'Dell. Ye find someone that cares for ye and loves ye fuir ye, and they are nae bad for ye? That's a keeper, I dinna care who they are." Looking out to the field, Fiona smiled watching Minnie, giggling as she ran away from Briaar, thinking it was a game.

"The wee one- she's yuir cousin Minerva. Her mum died bringin her into the world, and she dinna have innyone, so since we're an odd match already... well, you'll meet her. Minnie's a sweetheart," Fiona declared as Minnie finished a running charge by locking horns with one of the bulls, and trying to push the big bovine back. The bull wasn't moving, but Fiona had a hunch it was a sign of things to come. "That child is g'win ta charge at everything in this life, lock horns wi' it and dig in."

Raising her voice, in the tradition of her ancestors, Fiona used The Mom Voice, complete with full name. "Minerva Moo Mary Margret Mona O'Dell, you stop that and coom here this instant young lady! Dinna make me coom over there!"

Stopping in her tracks and stepping back from the massive bull, Minnie whined a little, looking ready to protest before kicking her tiny hooves and pouting in place long enough for Briaar to catch up. "Hey there... enormous ass bull. Yeah, you just chill there. Awesome. Heh."

Anxiously, the portly porcine picked up her precious package and slowly backed away, back towards Fiona and Darby. Meanwhile, Darby just watched with a surprised look on his face. "Wow. Well, yuir certain' doin' enough to right piss off Uncle Duncan bein' wit those two. But Da says Uncle Duncan has 'banished' half the clan from the family home. Da calls 'im a... 'power-drunk... jackanape'?"

“Wahhhhhl, far be it fuir me ta disagree wi’ your Da’s assessment of the situation,” the elder O’Dell confessed to the younger. “First? Dinna ye joodge me, and second, respect yuir elders. Yuir hurtin me partner’s feelins, and I willnae have it, alreet? I know ye were taught better. Now, yuir a smart young lad, and clearly ye keep yuir ears open… what’s happenin in the family, hm? We got here aboot half an hour ago, so’s I have nae time to get the lay of the land, as t’were.”

Shuffling slightly in place, the young Darby looked slightly contrite, having been chastised by his elder and hemmed and hawed for a moment. "M'sorry, mum. I didn't mean nuthin'..."

“Aye, I know ye dinna, and if I dinna say innything then how’re ye to know, aye?” Offering a warm smile and a hand on the shoulder to the youngster who was nearly as tall as she was, the far-travelled O’Dell reassured the next generation. “Noo harm done, Darby- I’m nae mad, and Briaar’s got a thick skin. Noow ye know, and ye kin act accordingly. That’s the important thing, so dinna ye worry.”

Then his tone got a little more conspiratorial. "Well... things 'ave been a right mess since grandpa Agnus passed on. He weren't even gone but a day and Uncle Duncan was throwin' his weight around, movin' wit' his wife inta th' big house and declarin’' hisself Laird by birthright. But all th' rest'a th' family is right in a twist o'er it all, I'd say. All week, there's been all sortsa fightin' and screamin'. Me Da is furious that the funeral rites got skipped, as is half the family. Th' other half just seems like they don't want t' piss off Uncle Duncan."

"Or, really, t' piss off 'Lady' Kathryn, his wife. Aunt Gerty and Aunt Wendy were over havin' tea with me Ma n' they said that Miss Kathryn has Uncle Duncan... what's it mean... poossywhipped?" Darby said, slightly confused, which elicited a snort of a chuckle out of Briaar, who was walking over and cleaning off Minnie's hooves with a wipe from the diaper bag on her shoulder.

“Mmmmm, that sounds aboot right. Well, Darby, this is Briaar, and this is your cousin Minerva… or Minnie, as we like to call her. Minnie, Briaar, this is me nephew Darby O’Dell… me new favorite nephew.” Stepping aside, Fiona gestured to the rest of her family, giving Darby a chance to put his best foot forward. “Darby has been catching me up on the family brouhaha.”

"Ahhh, aka, the 'THIS' storm?" Briaar said, holding up a baby wipe stained with cow manure from the pasture. "Anywho, pleased to meet you properly, Darby. Hey, Minnie, can you tell your cousin Darby here 'hello'?'

Briaar put the freshly cleaned off Minnie down on the grass as she looked up at her ginger cousin. The miniature Minotaur walked up and tilted her head quizzically at Darby, then looked back at Fiona with wide eyes before reaching up to Darby's shirt and tugging the 10-year-old down so she could reach up and touch his own curly red hair.

The young Mariposian jerked down slightly, not expecting to be overpowered by a toddler. But he offered no protest as he grinned slightly. Minnie rubbed his head and giggled slightly. "LOW!!! LOW!!! Like Mum!"

“Aye, Minnie, that’s right. Cousin Darby is a curly ginger joost like Mum, yuir right. Now be gentle, aye?” Gently, Fiona took Minnie by the shoulder and pulled her back a bit from her cousin, who genuinely looked like he could be Fiona’s offspring. In the distance, Fiona noticed one of the gold-clad Secruity officers- one of the big Klingon gals- who was scanning the area, then she stopped by the lakeside, apparently fascinated by something she had found on the water's edge. Then she refocused on the youngster before her.

“Ye hafta realize, ye and me’re a bit of throwbacks to our roots, aye? So she dinna see a lot of pale gingers on the starship we live on. So tis exciting to her ta meet a cousin that looks like ‘er Mum.” Patting the bovine babe on the head fondly, Fiona’s smile was warm and maternal. “I s’pose we shouldnae ha’ brought her down, given how the shite’s g’win ta hit the fan, boot I wanted her to see the planet, see where the O’Dell’s come from, since yuir Granddad declared her one of the clan.”

Seeing the look that passed over the young lad's face, Fiona confirmed. “Aye Darby, she is indeed an O’Dell- nae by blood, but by decree. Joost like Lady Kathryn- nae by blood, but by decree.”

"Well, if Grandda said so, then it IS." Darby said, nodding with approval and a smile. "N she's a fair sight nicer than Lady Kathryn, innyway. I know, respect m' elders, but she's jus'... a right pain. My Da' says so, an Grandda could'na stand her either."

Watching the Klingon Security sweep off in the distance, Briar's eyes narrowed a little. "Looks like something's goin' on at the big house. I guess we can only put this off so long, Fee."

“Aye, ye’ve a point there. Besides, I need a drink.” Turning to the youngster, the diminutive daredevil dame cracked a mischievous smile. “Ye want ta hear the adults air their dirty laundry in public, young master Darby? Aye? Then come along, and yuir bound to get an earful…”