En Garde!

Posted on Mon Sep 3rd, 2018 @ 2:17am by Commander Rita Paris & Baroness 2nd Class Schwein von Alcott
Edited on on Mon Sep 3rd, 2018 @ 2:18am

Mission: Holographic Horrors
Location: Artan Family Orbital Fortress, Level 98, Botanical Gardens
Timeline: 2395

Duty rosters filed, disciplinary measures handed down, schedules made for those who would be working shifts on the bridge while the Hera was in port, and plans made with Thex to go sight-see and get into trouble as tourists were underway.

But while there were a myriad of distractions available at the orbital fortress of the pirate fleet that had produced one Federation starship captain, Rita Paris moved today with a particular goal in mind. She had come upon a notion, and such things were difficult to dissuade once the pretty pilot got them into her head. The Baroness Von Alcott was one of the more unusual and interesting characters that comprised the crew of the Hera. Although it was still somewhat unclear to the lost navigator just what purpose the Baroness played on the Hera, save being a bodyguard to the Captain, likely as an acquiescence to her family.

Whatever the truth of the matter, Rita had encountered the Baroness and taken a liking to her. The woman was robust, unflappable and surprisingly congenial. Also, she suspected- at least physically- around her own age. If she was going to live in the future, then she was going to need friends. And while the Artan family fortress might not be the best place to go chasing down the professional pirate, it might not be the worst of ideas, either. Captain Telvan had seemed to be less than enthusiastic about returning to her duties here, so it might be possible the Baroness Von Alcott was none too pleased to be back on home turf again either.

Where to find her was the operative question at this point.

The holographic Trill catgirl maids that were omnipresent throughout the fortress, monitoring for the needs of the guests and maintaining the facilities noticed that one of them seemed to be searching for something and sent the nearest maid to see if they could assist. “Pardon me, miss…” the maid began with a slight bow. “But may I assist you in your relaxation in any way? Perhaps I can help you find something or someone?”

Turning to face the catgirl maid with a note of surprise, the newcomer offered a half-smile. “Yes, maybe you can? I’m looking for the Baroness Schwein Von Alcott?”

“Of course miss.” Pausing briefly, the maid system ran a search through the fortress for the personage in question. “Baroness Third Class, Schwein von Alcott, Adjutant to the Lady Telvan is currently on floor ninety eight in the botanical gardens enjoying a refreshing beverage. Shall I guide you there now?”

“That... would be great, yes, thank you,” Paris replied. Floor ninety eight? The future was on a much larger scale than she was accustomed to. As she fell in behind the catgirl, Rita pondered how the maid knew exactly where to find the Baroness without any consultation of a device. Were the catgirls cyberlinked? Were they androids? Were they holograms? A hive mind? What did third class mean?

There were questions aplenty in her mind about that, but she didn’t want to be rude and ask, so Rita kept it to herself. After all, in theory she was in no danger, so it wasn’t like her life depended on the answer. Eventually she could ask someone and get an answer- no need to potentially insult her guide just to satisfy her curiosity.

As the maid led Rita into one of the crystal walled turbolifts, she turned and stood in a bellhop position as the doors closed. They were on a lower floor so there was no view yet, but a few floors up, the turbolift was on the outside of the castle so they could see the entirety of the outside of the fortress grounds on that side, including a forest, a lake, a horse track, and even a small golf course. It was all quite a bit to take in, and Rita Paris stared at the scenery, enraptured. Not even Risa had sights such as these back in her day.

Though it was slower than a normal turbolift for the enjoyment of the ride, they still arrived at their destination floor quickly enough and the maid led Rita out, then through a humid botanical garden to a bar and grill staffed by more seemingly identical catgirl maids who all greeted Rita simultaneously. “Welcome!”

Which of course made Rita start slightly, fixing a nervous smile onto her face as she took in the enthusiastic greeting. “Um, hello...”

The one guiding Rita went straight up to Schwein and introduced Rita, who hustled to catch up. “May I present to you Lieutenant Rita Paris, Chef Flight Control Officer of the USS Hera.”

Schwein looked up from her mug of cider and grinned at Rita. “Ah, you made it! Don’t worry about the holographic maid system. They take some getting used to. The family got it on discount from some pervert. Efficient and friendly, but not very personable and can’t take a hint even if you stab them. Perfect for pirates, ja?”

At the Baroness’s query, the maid serving her smiled and nodded. “Yes miss, quite right. We are perfect for any task you may require.”

Schwein just shook her head at the maid that spoke and turned back to Rita. “But what brings you to me? Are you here to drink maybe?”

“Well, I could... but actually I chased you down for a different reason, Baroness,” Rita settled into a chair, habitually smoothing out her anachronistic uniform’s miniskirt as she did so. “I’m not much of a fighter, really. I don’t like to get my hands dirty, and while I pack a good solid kick, usually getting into a fight means me losing a fight. And while a judo flip can make a difference and there’s no substitute for a good phaser, I’m thinking that perhaps I should broaden my scale of fighting styles.”

“So, I happened to notice that you actually wear a sword, on the Hera. Every time I’ve seen you, you’re wearing it. Which leads me to believe, in addition to the pirate coat and boots and eyepatch and I’m just sure there’s a hat somewhere, that you know how to use that hunk of steel. Or whatever they make swords from in the future. Am I right?” Paris perked up, an inquisitive smile on her face.

Schwein couldn’t help but let out a capacious laugh at that. “I do look the part of a pirate, don’t I?” Flipping up the eye patch, she revealed that the covered eye was actually a golden glowing cybernetic eye. “Though the eyepatch is for headaches. Scanning everyone with a medical tricorder for an eye can be tiresome and freaks some people out.” She then flipped the eyepatch back down and drained the rest of her pint.

“But you’re here to learn how to fight like a pirate, are you? Oi! Maid! Bring this lass a proper sword!” Schwein called out as she searched her pockets for a hypo. Finding one, she rummaged for one of her custom stimulant mixes.

Meanwhile, the maids were busy with the swords. They had rolled out a sword rack with quite a few that looked like they had all seen extensive brawls. “Perhaps miss would enjoy the use of one of the house swords?”

“That’s... handy,” Rita remarked as she rose from her seat to approach the rack of medieval weaponry. Although in truth they ran the gamut- there was a claymore, a bastard sword, a few various shortswords which likely had names like the gladius, which she remembered from history class. Longswords, an epee, even a katana was on the rack- and those were the swords she recognized. There were quite a few more with which she was unfamiliar, and the array of choices was both considerable and somewhat formidable.

“All right... so I guess the first order of business is picking out something I’m suited for. Nothing too heavy, because I’m in shape but I’m not that strong, not a powerhouse fighter. Nothing too short, because I’m tall, so I have reach and I should use that. Nothing too lightweight because then I likely wouldn’t have the grace to make it work...” The leggy lieutenant paused to eye the pirate. “How’m I doing so far?”

By this time Schwein had injected herself with a stimulant and began sobering up and was just staring at Rita. “That’s all well and good, but in a fight, your opponent isn’t going to sit there and let you think about what you’re good at in a fight. Just look at me, reach out, grab one, and hit me with it!”

With that and a grin, Schwein reached out, grabbed a random sword, and hefted it, waiting for Rita to do the same.

“Not exactly how I thought this would go, but what ever does?” Paris lamented with a grin, grabbing a shortsword. “Ah, no,” she dropped it and grabbed a longsword. It felt reasonably solid in her grasp and as she hefted it, it seemed to be around the right weight- it felt like a weapon in her hand, not a toy. “Okay, so...”

Clumsily the bombastic bombardier took an experimental swipe at the Baroness, without any real power to the swing.

“There you go,” Schwein replied, easily parrying the swing with the half-lance she had picked up. “Keep an eye on me, watch my moves and try to predict where I’m going to attack. My feet, hands, and eyes will tell you everything, but for now, focus on my feet and weapon.”

After a few more parries, Schwein threw an attack of her own, telegraphing it well in the hopes that Rita would be able to easily read it.

Predicting where the sword was going from watching the feet and the weapon wasn’t exactly intuitive, and when the telegraphed swing came in, Rita got the sword up to meet it, but was off-balance and ended up on her ass on the ground. Picking herself and dusting herself off, she squared off against the pirate once more. “So is there... should I move my feet a certain way or stand somehow to keep my balance better? Or should I just go at it?”

“Keep your trailing foot more behind you.” Schwein swung again, a bit more gently this time.

Eyeing where the platinum-haired woman’s feet were positioned, Rita emulated the stance, feeling it out and getting her bearings as the same swing came in, and this time she blocked it without ending up on the deck. Pushing back, she tried to redirect her opponent’s blade, but once it started moving she had no idea where to go with it, so instead she drove it wide then took a step back. “More like that?”

“Very nice. You might make a good pirate someday if you ever leave the ‘fleet.” Schwein pressed her attack with a backspin and backhanded swing, leaving herself exposed for counterattack. Missing the opening, Paris instead brought the point up and tried to see what would happen if she tried to keep the tip interposed.

“So I’m told, but I’m pretty dedicated- woo!” Rita sidestepped a downward swing before stumbling over a bench and going ass over teakettle, turning it into a clumsy roll that ended with her looking around for her dropped sword. “Okay, maybe not such a great pirate recruit after all...”

Schwein couldn’t help but laugh again as she gave Rita a hand up. “Everyone has to start somewhere, ja? Not all can be born a super-soldier medic like I was. Maybe we should call in Baron Volyx and have him join us. He’s a better teacher. Never killed any of his students either, ja?”

“Nein!” the pretty pilot countered as she dusted herself off and picked her sword up off the ground. “The lesson is only half of it, Baroness. I wanted to spend time with you as well. I like you- you’ve a good sense of humor, you’re inclusive, and even when I didn’t know anyone on the Hera you still took me along for a ride. And I really know nothing about you, except that you once commanded a pirate vessel, that you are a super soldier, which I have no idea what that means, and that you watch over the captain. But I know what I’ve learned of you so far I like, and if it’s all right with you, I’d rather fall on my ass learning a clumsy move or two with you.”

“In return, I can always offer you flight lessons...?” Paris offered, hoping that her offer wasn’t going to be poorly received.

Schwein nodded and sobered up a bit. It wasn’t often a ‘fleeter enjoyed her company. Perhaps it was because this one was a relic from a more untamed era more similar to her own upbringing. “Flight lessons… Those could come in handy. I’m good enough with most of the Artan ships if I have to, but my skills are in command and field medicine.”

She then hefted her half-lance and gripped each end in her hands. “As for being a super-soldier… I’m the leftovers of an experiment from escapees of the Eugenics War.” With a grunt, Schwein suddenly flexed and in one swift motion bent the weapon almost forty five degrees in one go. With another flex she bent it the rest of the way and had the hilt nearly touching the tip. She then tossed the ruined weapon to a nearby maid.

“Not the best steel, but that should at least give you an idea, ja?” Schwein nodded and headed back to the weapon rack to get another sword.

As for said relic of a bygone age, she stared gape-mouthed at the casual display of super strength. Clearly it wasn’t expected, and Paris made no effort to hide her amazement. “That’s... incredible, Baroness! I mean, I’ve read accounts and I know Kirk encountered the Botany Bay even in my day. But the Eugenics Wars were ancient history even then...”

Realizing that the pirate might not be terribly comfortable, Paris walked it back a bit. “I apologize, Baroness. I don’t mean to gawk, it’s just... incredible to see in person. I mean, Vulcans are strong, but nothing like that. The wonders of the universe never fail to surprise me.”

“Ah Vulcans… Ja, they are strong as well. I’m human though.” With that the Baroness thumped her chest, revealing just how small her boobs really were under all that piratical swag she was wearing. “That’s what saved me when my fleet was destroyed. I had enough in me after the Queen’s Desire was destroyed to get to an escape pod.”

Hefting the new weapon she had randomly picked up in one hand, she realized it was the claymore and dropped it back on the pile. “Ja… No killing the student, dummkopf…” she muttered as she looked for something a bit more fitting, picking up a somewhat already bent rapier instead.

The extradimensional explorer had more questions, as she was genuinely curious about the Queen’s Desire and how the Baroness had come to be altered so. But while they were getting to know one another, there was a time and place. Right now, she had asked for lessons in swordsmanship, and the pirate captain was obliging. Best to stick to one lane and go from there, she reasoned.

Fetching her sword, Rita set her trailing foot, set her balance and brought the point of the sword up. Then she glanced around to make sure she wasn’t about to trip over any nearby obstacles before meeting the Baroness’ eye.

“Ready when you are...” Rita braced, watching the feet and the weapon as she had been instructed. If there was one thing that could be said, Paris was nothing if not an eager student.

Schwein nodded and took up her stance again, swinging the rapier with practiced ease, her other hand behind her back. She made sure not to put any power into any of her attacks just in case though. “There are nine angles a sword can attack from. You need to know how to parry each angle. The hardest is a center stab. The rest are slashes from top, bottom, left, right, or angles in between. That is proper swordplay. You must know this if you are to know if someone will fight dirty. You can practice on dummies and with fleet instructors for years and never learn how to fight.”

After a few more parries and thrusts were traded, the Baroness spun around and with a roundhouse kick, ruffled Rita’s gold miniskirt before resuming her stance.

“Yeek!” The gold-clad cosmonaut squeaked as she recognized the tactic. “So while watching what the sword is doing, don’t ignore the fighter either, I get it,” she observed, testing a lunge to see how much trouble it would get her into. The Baroness was being patient and indulgent, so Rita figured she owed it to her to at least be bold and make mistakes.

“Ja, just like piloting, watch everything.” Schwein spun her rapier around Rita’s sword, redirecting it towards one of the botanical garden trees and slicing into one of the broad leaves. The lunge brought Rita closer to the Baroness so it was time for another lesson. She stepped even closer, wrapped her empty hand around the buxom woman’s waist, and gave her a quick kiss before giving her a push back.

“You entered my inner defense range. A sword has three ranges. Inner defense, effective use, and observation.” Holding her rapier out at arm’s length, she demonstrated. “Out to my hand is inner defense. From my elbow to the tip is the effective use range. Past that is observation range. Simple, ja?”

The cheerful chrononaut laughed musically at that. “You cheeky pirate!” she said as she blushed a bit, bringing her sword back around to apply what she’d just been taught. A clumsy feint fooled no one, but this time she didn’t overextend. Instead she came at the platinum-tressed pirate with a slash from the left, then an expected parry as she anticipated a return attack.

Schwein was grinning cheerfully now as she easily parried and offered a counter attack. “You know there’s an orgy tomorrow on floor sixty eight. We’re only short one person for sixty nine. Are you interested?”

“Ah... I, uhm, I mean.. “ Paris stammered as she retreated, blushing furiously. Holding up a hand, she lowered her sword.

“The modern universe has, ah, changed a little since my day,” the antique officer explained. “I’ve never... I mean, I’m not a prude or anything, I’ve just never... back in my day, it wasn’t...”

Schwein couldn’t help but burst out laughing, seemingly completely dropping her guard in the process. “No no… sixty eight plus one is sixty nine. Sex joke, ja?”

“Well, I mean, sure, I got that part. That one’s older than I am!” Paris laughed as she tried a right slash, planning to bring it around as she had seen her instructor do a moment before. “Ahhhhaaa, another element? Keep your opponent off guard?”

Schwein leaned away from the slash, all business again. “Ja, the mind game is important as well. I’ve seen the Prinzessin win just with a death glare.” Parrying a few more swings, she started a semi-casual series of feints that looked like they would go for a strike but never actually touched Rita’s sword. She then finally made an actual attack towards the leggy navigator’s backside.

Lost in the feints and confused by all of the activity, the nubile navigator caught the flat of the blade fully on her rounded rear, making her yelp like a puppy whose tail had been stepped on. In a split-second decision, since the Baroness was in close, Rita threw a punch at her opponent’s jaw with her free hand.

The pirate blinked in surprise as she stepped back. She had barely felt it and Rita probably hurt herself more than the genetically engineered Baroness, but it actually made contact and caught her off guard, to boot. “Nicely done. Your hand is ok, ja?”

Genuinely surprised that her impetuous attack had connected, it took a moment for Rita to realize the result. “Your jaw’s like a rock!” The anachronism exclaimed as she shook and flexed her fingers. “I didn’t think that would work- are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Schwein replied, rubbing the opposite side of her jaw.

“How about I take you up on that drink?” Paris offered, looking to defuse the situation. After the woman had been so patient with her, Rita felt badly about clocking her one. All of which was clearly written across her face, as subtlety was not a large portion of the Paris vernacular.

“You’re doing well if you can actually hit me already. Before long I think you’ll be a match for most fresh pirates, ja?” The Baroness grinned and nodded. “But I think a drink may be in order for your first lesson. Maids! Bring us drinks and some of those egg and avocado bites!”

As the Baroness headed back towards the bar and set the rapier back on the rack, the maids set themselves to work. “Yes, miss, right away.” One of them turned to Rita to take her order. “We have a wide range of fruit based drinks on tap locally, but can get any other drink from any other floor if you prefer. Would you like to see a menu or do you have a preference already, miss?”

It had been so long that she had avoided alcohol, because in proximity what affected her tended to affect Sonak. And he didn’t exactly consider poisoning and mentally inhibiting oneself to be recreational. But Sonak wasn’t here. She’d had some wine with the Captain and the world hadn’t ended, so why not indulge a little?

“Cabernet Sauvignon, if you please,” Rita ordered with authority. The most basic of basic California blonde white girl drinks, it amused Rita that lightyears from home and hundreds of years distant, her basic drink order was now exotic. Gently placing the long sword back in the rack, she moved to take a seat beside the Baroness.

“I have to admit, you are not at all what I expected, Baroness. I mean, not that I had expectations one way or another, but you’re a surprising woman.” Conversation was a more familiar territory, although Rita suspected the pirate would likely have continued for as long as the plucky pilot had been willing.

As the maids scrambled to find a bottle of the requested wine, Schwein grinned wider. “People are people, ja? Everyone has hopes and dreams. Some of us have just seen more bad than good.” Sitting down at the bar, she sipped at her fresh pint of cider and popped one of the hors d'oeuvres into her mouth.

After another minute, a maid finally arrived with a dusty bottle of wine with wax seals marked with the year 2309. As the maid offered it to Rita for inspection, she offered details on it. “We hope this meets with your approval. The white grapes of 2309 in southern California were particularly delectable that year. If this is acceptable, I will prepare a glass for you immediately.”

Leaning in, Rita muttered conspiratorially to the Baroness. “I’m not, ah, raiding the important wine cellars here, am I?” With a shrug for a reply, Paris proceeded. “Please and thank you.”

Settling in, the explorer followed the conversation. “So... I take it you’ve known more bad than good, Baroness?” The question wasn’t a challenge, just an inquiry. But the only way Paris learned anything was by asking, and this seemed as good a time as any to probe out the former pirate captain.

As the maid fetched a glass, wiped down the bottle, popped the cork and let the bottle breathe a moment while resting in a bucket of ice, Schwein began talking.

“I guess it depends on your definition of good and bad… But yah, probably.” Schwein popped another of the egg things into her mouth and chewed a bit. “I’ve seen more death than most people ten times my age. Haven’t fallen in love yet. First time taking a life was at the orphan colony I was created at when it was destroyed by the Syndicate. The Prinzessin saved me and I’ve been with the Artan family ever since.”

Given that the woman was apparently the same age, Paris wasn’t sure how to react. So, in her own inimitable style, she forged ahead, ever onward. After all, as Captain Stuart had once observed, Paris always seemed to be charging forward or gingerly backing away.

“So that’s how you met the Captain? She saved you?” A gentle and obvious riposte, but one that might succeed, she reasoned.

The maid monitoring the wine bottle nodded and finally poured Rita a glass of wine, sliding the glass in front of Rita and replacing the cork and returning the bottle to the ice. Taking the offered glass, Rita took a sip, found it to be a surprising taste of home, then drained it at a draught before sliding it back to the maid for a refill, which she promptly provided. As long as they could supply it and Rita would drink it, the maids would do so.

“Ja,” the Baroness grinned ear to ear, obviously gearing up for a bit of a tale as she turned to Rita, one hand punctuating the air as she spoke.

“There I was, fighting for my life against three Syndicate goons. Stabbed two of them to death with a dull spoon but the third got me with a disruptor. I wasn’t out yet though. I still had my spoon and fighting spirit. As I got back to my feet, the syndicate ship came into view and my heart sank. Just then, a pirate sloop flew by. One of the old stealthy ones. Blasted it to pieces. While the last goon was distracted, I gutted him with my spoon.” The Baroness pantomimed gutting someone with a spoon as she made some sound effects before proceeding. “Even if they were all dead though, I knew I wasn’t long for this life if those pirates weren’t going to take me in. What pirate would?”

She waggled a finger at Rita, her exposed eye narrowing. “I was wrong though. That sloop came down and extended a ramp and there in this golden light was the strongest looking teen girl you’d ever laid eyes on. Her eyes could have bored holes in neutronium. She said one thing to me- ‘Come with me if you want to live.’ I did. When she turned to go back inside, her blue and gold cape billowing behind her, I followed.”

For her part, Rita sat spellbound listening to the tale of high adventure. The Baroness was a good storyteller, and when the pirate was finished, as indicated by a long fraught of cider, Rita considered. “Huh. She kind of collects people, doesn’t she? The Captain, I mean. Saves them from dire circumstances, then adopts them?”

“Ja, she does. She has a big heart. She saved Captain Magnus from the slave mines when she was eight. Now he runs the Artan family while she’s in Starfleet. Not too many take a liking to that, but he’s good at it so not many complaints.” Taking another drink, Schwein paused a moment to think back. “I think most of her original crew before her Trill Defense Force days were refugees and rescues she had made herself. I was her gunner and first mate for a while.”

That rang true with the extradimensional explorer, as she herself had been rescued by the Captain from a fate worse than death, trapped as a sentient energy ghost after being hurled through time, space and dimension.

“So the Artans are pirates that prey on other pirates? More like privateers than pirates, if I recall my military history correctly?” It was a bit divergent, but since the conversation had swung that way, Paris chose to pursue another topic she did not understand, since the genial pirate was so generously forthcoming.

Schwein nodded. “It’s part of our code. Only pirate other pirates, preferably those that piss off innocents or have bounties or Syndicate scum. Also, any squabbles or questions of honor or rank are settled with duels to first blood. There are a few other things but those are the two main ones.”

“I don’t know if we had such things where I came from, or when,” Paris admitted. “But it sounds like the Syndicate are just as slimy here, with no love lost,” she concluded. Eyeing the cyber-eyed pirate, Paris changed course yet again. “May I ask you a personal question, Baroness? Not that these have not been impersonal in nature...”

“Ja, you may.” Schwein tipped her pint towards Rita before finishing it off.

“All these years, all these adventures you must have had... a woman like you must have had suitors. But you’ve never known love?” Rita, despite being so career oriented, had never lacked for interested parties, given her looks and build. But she understood that love could be elusive. Yet the Baroness was so garrulous and outgoing, it surprised her that the dynamic woman had never known the bloom of the heart.

“Hard to find love when everyone is afraid to die during petit morte,” the Baroness replied as she popped two more of the hors d'oeuvres into her mouth.

“Ah, how’s that work?” Rita asked, her ongoing curiosity piqued.

Schwein looked over at Rita like she had grown a second head. “I crushed a man’s thighs while orgasming. He almost died. Not good for love, ja?”

“Oh.... OH! The whole super strength thing. But that isn’t all or nothi-“ The leggy Lieutenant paused to facepalm. “Right. Involuntary muscle reflex. Sonak has to be so careful with me because...” Again, she caught herself, took a long draught off her wine and amended her statement. “Used to. He used to have to be careful with me because I was so much weaker and less durable than he was. He said it added to our intimacy.”

A miserable expression settled on the pretty pilot’s face, which she washed away with the rest of her second glass of wine on an empty stomach. When she set the glass down, she asked the logical question.

“Is there no one else like you? Or a sturdy enough personage out there who can...” Paris waved her hand idly in a circular motion, “withstand your amorous attentions?”

“I’m sure there are somewhere. Finding them is the hard part. Races with strength close to mine aren’t common here. Holosuite even has trouble.” Schwein slid the plate of egg and avocado bites over to Rita. “Try one? You need food and they’re good. Fresh grown.”

Idly, Paris picked up one of the finger foods and nibbled at it half-heartedly. “I don’t suppose they are. Wait, what about photonic folks? That seems like it would be safer and they could keep up with you?” The wine already working it’s magic, Paris was moving into offering unasked for advice, trying to solve what she perceived as a problem in her new friend’s life.

Schwein motioned to the maids tending to the bar. “They seem real to you, ja? Like living, breathing people? I see fields of energy and lines of code. That one is 42975. That one is 77694. The one at the door is 99324. The ones aboard the Hera are much more complex, but I see them the same way thanks to my eye.”

“That... yeah. I mean, they do, the ones that I have met. It took a little getting used to the idea, but I’ve met lifelike androids and energy beings- hell, I’ve been one myself. So this wasn’t a huge stretch for me,” Paris admitted. “But I’m only human. I can’t see what you see.”

The pirate chuckled softly. “I’m technically human as well. A human augment with a tricorder in her head… but still human.”

“I meant no offense, Baroness,” the tipsy time traveler backpedaled. “Just that I’m... only the base factory model. I didn’t mean to imply... honestly, I assume everyone serving aboard the Hera comes from somewhere other than Earth. It’s... I am still adapting. Trying to, at least.” With that she finished off her first hors d'oeuvre and gingerly picked up a second. “I meant no disrespect.”

“No offense taken. I’ve never seen Earth, so no worries, ja?” The pirate chuckled again as she sipped her drink. “As for the rest of the crew, I think three crewmen listed their homes as Earth. None were human. I don’t know if that’s normal for ‘fleet ships.”

“I wouldn’t know, in the modern day. Definitely not back in my day, but that was a dozen decades ago,” The buxom beauty shrugged, a seismic motion. “Back then the crew was 99% human. Now I’m the 1%.”

“Seems everything has changed so much, and everything I knew is wrong. You know they changed the warp speed scale?” The lost navigator chuckled mirthlessly at that as she took another sip of wine, then fell silent, staring into her glass, lost in reverie.

“Ja… Pain calibrating all our old systems to it every time we salvage something. Everyone used a different scale before the new one. All different. Trill warp fourteen is Earth warp nine is Kzinti warp eleven…” The Baroness shook her head and munched on another of the egg and avocado bites. “At least now we all know who has best bragging rights in the pub.”

“Yeah...” Paris agreed absently before she returned to the moment. “I should probably go, I’m sure I have something I should be doing. Thank you, Baroness, for the lesson and the conversation.” As she rose, a small wistful smile settled on the face of the outdated officer. Reaching over, she patted the super soldier on the shoulder.

“I hope you find the person who‘s looking for you, Baroness,” Rita offered honestly. “You seem a good sort, and you deserve someone in your life.”

“You as well. I’ll see you for your next lesson when you’re ready.” The pirate smiled up at the buxom lass and… winked? Maybe she blinked. It was hard to tell with pirates in eye patches.

“Yeah... thanks, Baroness,” the melancholy maiden muttered. Lost in all the feelings she had stirred up, Rita Paris wandered off at a far more casual pace than her usual ground-eating stride, to be alone with her memories of another place and time, and a love lost she could never replace.

Schwein hadn’t asked her guest really any questions at all, she realized. Ah well, she’d have to make a point of that next time. She knew ‘fleeters enjoyed that sort of thing and since she was on a ‘fleet ship a lot now, she did need to make that effort a bit more often.

For now though, she’d sit here once again lost in the memories of the things she’d lost over the short years she’d been alive.