Nothing to Fear But Fear

Posted on Sat Apr 25th, 2015 @ 11:39pm by Commander Angelica Fairchild & Lieutenant Commander Ethan Chaparral MD & Commander Sinek
Edited on on Sat Apr 25th, 2015 @ 11:41pm

Mission: The New Sydney Fiasco
Location: Sick Bay
Timeline: After Mind Maze

Sinek lay upon the bio bed. Fear was becoming a part of him. Instinct brought him back to the fetal position. His body shook as tremors along a fault line. A cold sweat broke over him, soaking his once pristine uniform. One could not tell where the sweat ended and the urine began from his kidneys failing when the fear overwhelmed him. Darkness was overtaking Sinek, bringing a deeper sense of dread.

Ethan ignored the stench of the urine, it really didn't faze him. He'd smelled worse. What did worry him was Sinek's condition and the realization that he had put Sinek there. That realization shook Ethan to his core, but he didn't let it show. His professional side took over.

He tapped his com badge =/\=Commander Fairchild, this is Commander Chaparral, I need you in Sickbay stat. No time to explain, just get yourself down here.=/\=

=/\=I'm on my way.=/\= The call for her to go to sickbay was unusual; in her time aboard the Hera, Angel had never heard any member of the command team called down to sickbay for an emergency. That alone was cause for her to head that way immediately. Something very serious had to be going on.

Ethan pulled out a hypospray and pressed against Sinek's neck giving him a mild sedative.

As the sedative began to enter Sinek's blood stream, the tremors decreased, eventually ceasing. Sporadically his body would give a nervous twitch. The darkness continued to overtake him.

"Sinek" the doctor spoke gently as he bent down, "Sinek, it's your friend Ethan. I'm here for you. Just hang on to the sound of my voice. You're going to be okay."

A few minutes after she'd been called, Angel came into sickbay to look for Ethan. He wasn't hard to spot, leaning over a biobed where another man in science blue lay, shaking and visibly wet, even from a distance. A jerk of his head revealed a pointed ear before it disappeared behind Ethan's body again. Sinek? It had to be. He was the only Vulcan on board. But she didn't have time to worry about him as a friend. "What happened?" she asked calmly, joining Ethan by Sinek's bed. Though professional, her question carried a note of concern that went beyond being worried about a colleague.

"We did a mind meld," the doctor explained, "to help me overcome some of my fears, because of what Ian did to me. I thought he was fine, but the fear must have overwhelmed him. I've given him a sedative to calm him down, but that is only a temporary fix. He'll need his friends around when he wakes up. We're going to have to help him erect those logic walls or whatever you want to call them when he comes to, Otherwise he's going to get worse."

She'd been called not as the ship's first officer, but as Sinek's friend. Were the situation not so grim, she might have smiled at the idea of Sinek telling others about their friendship. "I'll stay with him."

The darkness turned to a nightmare, something else Sinek had never experienced. Vulcans rarely slept, hence no dreams. Everything seemed so real. Wave after wave of Borg were boarding the Hera. The Doctor had been assimilated, his artificial arm had pinchers. Something had a hold of Sinek, while a Borg was preparing to assimilate Angel. Sinek began to flail.

Seeing Sinek start flailing on the biobed, Angel pushed past Ethan and grabbed Sinek's hand, paying no mind to the smells of sweat and urine and with little regard for her own safety, should he lash out at her touch. "Hey," she said softly, trying to get his attention.

The flailing ceased as a look of bewilderment came to the Vulcan's face. In the nightmare, Angel was yelling. However, coming from somewhere beyond the dream, her voice calmly came through. He felt the hand holding his. He knew from the touch it was her. Sinek squeezed it tighter in response.

"You can hear me. Good." Angel squeezed Sinek's hand, giving Ethan a 'I have no idea what I'm doing but let's roll with it' look. "I don't know what you're seeing in that Vulcan brain of yours, but it's not real. You need to accept that and come back to us, okay?"

Her voice was reassuring to him. Sinek tilted his head toward were he felt Angel's voice was. It's not real! began to sound in his mind. Slowly, the Borg began to fade. The Doctor was no longer a Borg. Angel was there, looking like her name. In his sleep, a look of calm came to Sinek's face. In his mind, he was beginning to turn the battle.

Seeing a look of peace wash over the Vulcans face Ethan breathed out a sigh. Whatever Angel was doing it was working. "I'm going to go do some paperwork, reports and so forth. You two can be alone. I'll be back in about 30 minutes or so and give him something to counteract the sedative. Call me if something comes up in the meantime, I'm right over there in the office."

"I'll yell if we need anything. Thank you for calling me." Sickbay was woefully short on chairs, particularly near the bio beds, so Angel gently nudged Sinek over on the bed and sat on its edge, where he would see her when he woke up. Whatever had been going on, somehow she'd stopped it, and if she had to sit there until he came out of this, that was what she planned to do.

Still holding to Angel's hand, Sinek now felt the change of her position. His arm now gently tightened about her waist. Over the next few minutes Sinek's breathing and heart rate drastically decreased. If not for the fact the bio bed had been picking up the readings, he would have been presumed dead. Inside now the mind was beginning to win. Synapse were firing up and new neural pathways were being laid. Fear was being backed into a corner.

That was more than just a friendly gesture, and Angel chuckled quietly at it. Now those brief flashes of supportive feelings she'd felt before made sense, affection buried beneath layers of Vulcan control. "You'd better hope no one sees you embracing me," she told him quite seriously, a stupid grin on her face. "Not very Vulcan of you, Sinek."

The heart rate and respiration slowly returned to normal. The fear had been banished to the nether reaches of his mind.

Sinek stirred and slowly opened his eyes. The light coming from behind Angel formed an aura about her frame. His body still feeling the effects of the sedative, Sinek whispered, "Fascinating," before closing his eyes and drifting off once again asleep.

"Fascinating. Is that all you're going to say?" Relieved that he was apparently all right now, Angel released a breath and relaxed. She didn't know what this little miracle even meant... didn't know Vulcans could get that scared. Then again, she hadn't known many Vulcans. The one she did know hadn't mind melded with any torture victims either.

Ethan walked back in the room and examined his patient and friend. 'I'm going to give him something to bring him around," he told Angelica, "but I think we need to clean him up. I don't want him to be embarrassed when he comes to."

Do Vulcans get embarrassed? Angel didn't know if it would be more embarrassing to wake up still soaked in those fluids or to have someone change her clothes while he was asleep, but she nodded slightly. "So how do we do that without disturbing him?"

"Well, he's still under right now, so that shouldn't be a problem. The question is does he want to have his clothes changed by a gay man or a woman?"

Amused by the question, Angel shook her head, trying not to laugh at that absurdity. "That's not a question I ever thought I would have to answer, especially about a sleeping Vulcan." She had to think about it for a moment, not knowing if either of them were appropriate choices for the task. "From a logical standpoint, you're in a relationship with someone already. Plus he doesn't have any... equipment you haven't seen before." She was supposed to be an adult, damn it. This wasn't supposed to be so damned funny! "Then again I came up through security. There's not much I haven't seen either."

"Maybe I better do it," Ethan suggested, "I'm not going to touch any of his equipment. And yes he's not exactly my type."

"That seems... more appropriate." Still trying desperately not to snicker at the situation, Angel gently freed herself from Sinek's one-armed embrace around her waist and got up from the edge of the biobed. "I'll just pull the curtain around and wait on the other side."

"Sinek,"Ethan told him, "If you can hear me, you had, well a bit of an accident and I'm going to clean you up. It means I'm going to have to take your clothes off."

As Ethan spoke to Sinek, Angel quietly pulled the privacy curtain around the bed and stepped away to a discreet distance to wait.

Taking another man's clothes off was not exactly a foreign concept to Ethan he'd done it more than once before. Taking another man's clothes off in this particular fashion was. He lifted the Vulcan's shirt off pretty much without incident, and tossed them in relying bin, then he moved to Sinek's pants.

Sinek was still asleep, but sensed someone's presence. It may have been an effect the sedative had, but he began to mumble. "Angel...you should know...I..." Sinek again fell silent.

Still close enough to hear, Angel gave the curtain a curious glance. She knew Sinek must still be asleep or he'd know it was Ethan touching him now. It would be more professional to remain away from the curtain, but curiosity won out and she stepped back over so she was just outside it. "What is this thing you want me to know, Sinek?"

Hearing her voice, Sinek continued, scattered "You...I cross...action...no emotion...choice...lv..." He went silent again.

Ethan continued to work ignoring Sinek's words as best he could. He had was having problems of his own to deal with at that time. He'd taken off the Science Officers pants and disposed of them. No he was faced with the rather delicate task of removing his underwear.

Knowing she was on the other side of the curtain he ignored Angel to for the moment.

Puzzled by the random nature of Sinek's words, Angel was quiet for a moment. She didn't know if there was a real message there or not, but if it was... she didn't think he'd say it once he was awake.

"I...," the voice was calm and slow, " love...you."

Ethan hand froze just above the Vulcan's underwear, as his brow rose above his hairline. He was aware that the sedative was doing most of the talking, but he was pretty sure it was only releasing Sinek's inhibitions.

Then taking a deep breath he tugged the underwear off and tossed with the rest of the discarded clothes. He averted his eyes, for the most part, then turned his back and headed to the small replicator to create some new clothes for his friend.

The words hit Angel over the head like a brick, and initially she took a step back, trying to wrap her head around that statement. Sinek loved her? Without a second more of thought, she pushed the curtain open and went back to his bed, paying no mind to his current state of undress. She'd seen it all before on the security tapes, and frankly she wasn't phased by male nudity after so many years in security anyway. "Did I hear that right? Those words came out of Sinek's mouth?"

Sinek was beginning to stir now. It seemed the sedative was beginning to be coming to an end. His eyes slowly opened.

Seeing Angel by his side as before he asked, "I was asleep?"

Confusion came over him when he realized he was in the nude. This seemed to becoming a strange habit. It was a second time he had awaken baked since boarding the ship. This time Angel was standing next to him. The Vulcan showed no embarrassment, only confusion.

"I've got you some new clothes," Ethan said to him, "you, uh ruined your last set. I am going to go now and leave the two of you alone. You obviously have a lot to talk about. You can get dressed when you want."

Sinek received the new uniform from the Doctor. "Doctor, the meld. Are you well?"

"I am, thanks to you, but I could ask you the same question. It seems it was a real strain on you."

Sinek began to get dressed. "I am well, Doctor. It got dark for a while in my mind." He looked up at Angel. "Your voice brought me through."

"My voice in particular?" While Sinek got dressed, Angel politely averted her eyes to give him some privacy, not that he seemed to care. "You said something while you were asleep."

"I recall battling within my mind. I do not recall having a conversation," Sinek stated without inflection, while he finished dressing. "The Doctor stated we needed to talk. I assure you Angel, I am well and may remain on duty."

Ethan quietly slipped out of the room leaving the two remaining occupants to themselves.

"Oh, this isn't about you remaining on duty." If Sinek didn't remember their pseuso-conversation, he might not even know what it was he'd said. Still, Angel wanted to know if he'd say it again. "I wouldn't call it a conversation... not really anyway. You were... rambling. Disjointed. A lot of it didn't make sense."

Sinek raised a brow. The thought of a Vulcan not making sense, well, did not make sense. "Angel, I am a Vulcan. A Vulcan saying something and not making sense is illogical." The CSO bent his arms at the elbows, forming a triangle before him with the fingers of his hands. "What did I specifically say?"

"You were sedated," Angel reminded him matter-of-factly. "Well." Since he was sitting up now, there was an empty space on the bed, and Angel sat down there. "You started off with 'Angel, you should know that...' then some random words that didn't quite make a sentence. Followed by..." she hesitated, not sure if she wanted to continue prying. After a moment, she sighed, deciding to just go for it and make the best of whatever he said next. "Sinek, you told me you loved me. And I can't just forget you said it."

Sinek gazed into those steel gray eyes and stated, "Indeed." He thought how best to express it. "Since coming aboard, I have been impressed by your actions. You keep emotions in check while on duty; you've made quick progress in meditation. It seems everything you do fascinated me. I've thought about it much. The logic states that I'm not fascinated by what you do, but I am fascinated by you."

He looked into the memory of the meld. "I have learned during my first meld with a human mind." He paused, then continued, "We Vulcans have the wrong idea about love. It is not an emotional thing, like we believe all humans have when they see a puppy. Love is a logical choice of the one that is loved."

Sinek thought the hope of Angel understanding him was great. He was Vulcan; logic made sense. "Angel, I have chosen to love you."

"It's more that there's different types of love," Angel began. Then the rest of Sinek's words connected in her brain, and she had that same 'hit by a brick' look on her face as when she'd first heard him say it. Of all the men she'd ever served with, it was a Vulcan who chose her. Wanted her for who she was, not how she looked or what sorts of things she could do. "Pardon my surprise," she said after a moment, having gathered her wits again. "I... well I don't quite know what to say!"

She thought about it for a few moments, searching for words that would express how she felt. "I wasn't very nice to you when we first met, but you've been the kindest soul on this ship since that day. I wasn't sure what it was, but I thought there was something different about you."

"When I was struggling, I knew your touch and your voice. Your touch is stimulating to me. I have never had that type of experience outside of pon farr. It seemed like an illogical user experience on a computer. I did not know how to interpret it until I melded with the Doctor."

"I will understand if you believe I've crossed the boundaries of friendship, or for that matter of a teacher with his pupil. It is indeed what I have done."

"Sinek." Angel knew that Vulcans weren't extremely fond of close contact, but she gently took his hands, pulling him out of the meditative position. "It's common for friends to transcend that particular boundary, and you can still teach me how to meditate and control my feelings. I don't want you to be the professionally distant teacher."

Her touch sent electrical relays up his arms. Sinek gently squeezed Angel's hand. Her statement didn't fully mean that his love for her was being reciprocated. Did Angel wish to remain close friends or was it open for a deeper relationship? There was only one way to find out. He was after all, a scientist. Sinek leaned in to Angel and gave her a soft, gentle kiss on the lips.

Caught off guard, Angel did not immediately react. She was too surprised! Everything she knew about Vulcans suggested they didn't do such things. After a few seconds that felt like an eternity, she put her hand on the side of his face and ever so gently returned that kiss.

Ethan's curiosity had gotten the best of him and he had decided to go back and check on his patient and his friend to see if everything was alright. He returned just in time to witness the kiss. He remained silent, smiled to himself and slipped back into his office.