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Anger Management

Posted on Thu Mar 5th, 2015 @ 8:15pm by Lieutenant Commander Ethan Chaparral MD & Lieutenant Dylan Santiago

Mission: Reman Z
Location: Ethan's quarters
Timeline: After Reunited

Ethan had been unable to sleep all night. There had been a good reason for his insomnia the first part of the night. He and Dylan had been getting reacquainted in the most intimate and pleasurable way. It had been awhile and so the time had been both a sensuous relief and a nurturing, almost spiritual time. Ethan hadn't wanted to fall asleep.

Then when Dylan had dozed off, he'd wanted to follow suit, but had simply been unable to do so. Sleep had eluded him. Even with Dylan spooned against him, the images of Ian putting a torch against his arm still played in his mind. He avoided, barely, tossing and turning but soon realized he just wasn't going to be able to fall asleep. No matter how hard he tried he could not get his mind to shut off.

He carefully untangled himself from his lover so as not to wake him and crawled out of bed still naked. He found his underwear and managed to get that on, without much trouble. Then he grabbed a pair of gym shorts, which after a brief struggle he was also able to put on. But after several failed attempts at trying to put on a shirt he gave up on the idea and moved to the main living area shirtless.

There he sat on a chair in front of his computer. He tried again to still his mind, but every time he closed his eyes he saw Ian's gloating face. Dylan's being further away from him, only made image stronger, which in turn raised both Ethan's fear and frustration level.

He didn't want to go back to bed however so he just sat there. After about 45 minutes of frustrated silence he decided to try to read. He reached for his PAaD but fumbled picking it up and it fell to the floor. "Damn it," he said to himself softly. Picking it up he tried to open it up, but the locking mechanism was stuck. He tried three, then four times and it would not budge. After the fifth failed attempt, he flung it against the wall and saw it shatter. "DAMN IT TO HELL!!" he shouted forgetting momentarily that he was not alone.

The crash had Dylan out of the bed before he was even awake and stumbling into the lounge he rushed to Ethan's side, looking at the shattered PADD as he said "I'm guessing that wasn't because it malfunctioned?"

"No, it's fucking not why," Ethan replied, his anger growing,"It's because that goddamned Ian turned me into a freak!"

"You're not a freak." Dylan replied, his voice calm, "And the docs are working on your new arm so you won't have to be without one for much longer." he walked over to Ethan and deliberately placed his hand on what remained of his missing arm and added "To me, you're still you and arm or no arm, I'm gonna love you till the day I die."

Ethan allowed himself the briefest and smallest of smiles, warming at the touch. "I know both of those things, " he said, "but it is still hella frustrating waiting. But that is only part of it. I can't sleep and when I do sleep I have nightmares. I can't get this, I can't get him out of my head.

I close my eyes and I see him. Sometimes even with my eyes open I see him. Am I going insane?"

"It's post traumatic stress." Dylan replied, "And it can be treated, you just need to be sure to attend your counselling sessions." he added, knowing that it was all well and good saying it but in truth he had no idea how he'd feel if he had been through the same kind of horrendous abuse.

'I have to do something. This is really starting to get to me. The only one I can talk to about it. The only one I don't have to pretend that I'm really not okay, is you."

"And so it should be." Dylan took Ethan's hand and pulled him up so that he could wrap his arms around him, "But I'm no professional and right now a professional is just what you need."

There was no doubt in Ethan's mind that Dylan was exactly right. But just to be held in the other man's arms was reassuring. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too...after all, I don't ask everyone to marry me you know." he commented before finding Ethan's lips and kissing him deeply.

Ethan drank in the kiss. He wanted it, needed it. For that moment in time Ian posed no threat to him. He was safe. After the rather long kiss had broke he said, "I'll clean this up later. Let's just go back to bed. As long as we're both awake we might as well make good use of our time."

"Why, Mr Chaparral, are you propositioning me?" Dylan grinned as he began to back them towards the bedroom door.

"That is exactly what I am doing Mr. Santiago." Ethan still wasn't feeling entirely safe and the memories of his torture still lingered at the fringes of his mind. But being with Dylan made him feel better, so much better.

"Well then, who am I to deny my gorgeous, sexy, husband to be?" Dylan replied as they reached the bed and flopped down on it together.

As they fell down together, a momentary flash of memory from a long time ago, his first time with his first crush, passed through his mind. He dismissed it almost immediately, he was with Dylan now and knew he always would be. So he began to kiss him passionately.

"I love you so much." Dylan breathed as they came up for air and he gazed into Ethan's eyes, glad that he didn't have to put up any barriers with him any more.

"I love you too, " Ethan replied, content in the moment, "and I am never going to let you go again."

"Even if I'm a lunkhead again?" Dylan asked reaching up to caress Ethan's cheek lovingly.

"Even then," the other man responded as he settled into the embrace. "Is it okay if we just kiss and hold each other for now?"

"Of course it is." Dylan nodded, knowing that Ethan needed his space with everything he'd been through.

A joint post by

Lt. Dylan Santiago
Intel Chief
USS Hera

&

Lt. Ethan Chaparral
ACMO
USS Hera
"Not that I don't want to make love to you, but right now I just need this."

"Hey it's okay...we have a lifetime to make love. Right now you need comfort." Dylan whispered as he stroked Ethan's hair and gazed into his eyes, "I'm not a total horn dog all the time you know."

Ethan kissed his lover on the cheek and snuggled closer. "Yeah I know, you are kind of the complete package. And of course being a horn dog is not a bad thing."

"You have your moments too you know." Dylan smiled, pulling Ethan closer, eager to make him feel as safe as possible.

"Yeah, I do. Like I said, you're the complete package. You're the one that turns me into a horn dog. I love you so much."

"I love you too, now how about you get some sleep? You're going to be a zombie at work tomorrow if you don't." Dylan whispered as he nuzzled against him.

"Yeah," sleep sounds like a great idea," the doctor replied. Soon after, nestled safely withing Dylan's comforting arms his breathing deepened, his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep.

With Ethan safe in his arms, Dylan rested back and stared up at the ceiling. When Ethan was awake, he forced himself to keep calm, to be the rock that his fiance needed. But at times like this when he was alone with his thoughts, he seethed and ruminated about what had happened and vowed to himself that he would make this Ian person pay for what he had done to the man that he loved more than life itself. And what was more, he promised himself that Ian would beg for his life before he ended it in Ethan's honour.

A joint post by

Lt. Ethan Chaparral
ACMO
USS Hera

Lt. Dylan Santiago
Intel Chief
USS Hera

 

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