Off The Record

Posted on Mon Dec 31st, 2018 @ 7:56pm by Commander Rita Paris & Captain Enalia Telvan & Lieutenant Commander Thex sh'Zoarhi & Lieutenant Commander Mnhei'sahe Dox
Edited on on Mon Dec 31st, 2018 @ 10:51pm

Mission: Escaped Pantheons
Location: USS HERA, Deck 9, Crew Mess Hall
Timeline: December 31, 2395

Abercrombie, B'tarthski, Cumberbatch and Diggle sat about the round table in the enblisted mess hall, where officvers ne'er tread and the chiefs were seldom seen. And as was tradition in military service aboard ships that sailed, be it the seas or the stars, they gossiped.

"So we're docked, but no shore leave? What's the bloody idea about that? No shore rotations, but the officers ain't here, are they? Likely a bloody resort out there..." Abercrombie grumbled into his chicken cordon bleu.

Diggle grumbled in her irish accent as she downed a gulp of her rum. "Yeah, it ain't right. That place is a paradise or somethin, fulla elves and sweets."

"Thats more than I heard, but one of the Runabouts came back with... Well... SHIT all over the hull, and guess who had to scrub it clear?" Cumberbatch responded.

"Are you shitting me? How in the name of the universe does a spacefaring vehicle that ain't touched down on a planet wind up covered in, of all things, shit?" Abercrombie exclaimed in disbelief.

Diggle shook her head as she downed another gulp of rum. "Don't blame waste reclamation. We do our jobs right."

"This was burned into the hull. I had to scrub it out molecularly. I don't think I have finger prints anymore." Cumberbatch laughed as he talked.

"Could be worse. I hear old Fingerman's retiring. The transporter chief, big tubby old bloke? Officers doing experiements witht he transporters, said it turned his hair while and he'd never ride the blasted things again." Abercrombie took a swig of his sweet iced tea, then pointed with his finger to emphasize his point. "On my honor, s'what he said."

"Lotta strange stories on this ship... Lotta strange things..." Diggle muttered. "Like the rumor about one oh the ship's cooks. I heard she was one oh them Romulan spies and was vaporized by the cap'n herself... Then the next one was eaten by a demon cuz the meat wan't good enuf."

Taking a bite of meatloaf off of his plate, Cumberbatch smirked. "Hope this isn't leftovers."

B'tarthski rolled his eyes at some of the rumors. Demons indeed. Still he had his own tale to add " You want to know something really strange. We came in for a shift in engineering early the other day and it looked like the whole place had been up to your knees in water. Even stranger was the smell of bog water and horse droppings. "

"Is every story shit based? And is Commander sh'Zoarhi putting a pool in? Cumberbatch relplied, tilting his head to the side and smirking.

"Ship is haunted... Either that or it's damned... Frekin entertainin though." Diggle finished off her rum and let loose a belch that shook her empty mug. "As long as I'm not gonna keel over any time soon, this is the assignment fer me. Always loved them horror holovids and this is like one ah them real life haunted ships. Heck, even if tha' place we're docked is fulla monsters, I'd love ta visit."

"Ship was trapped in that storm a while back, I saw a yeti. Eatin a feller right over in the corner." Abercrombie chucked a thumb over his shoulder at a booth in the corner where a few crewmen were laughing at something or other. "Pickin his teeth with the shin bone. That'll put you off your feed. But what're you gonna do? We hosed it down and we come back the next day and keep eating here. What're ya gonna do, hide in your rack and live off your replicator, never see the sights of a starship on a cruise?"

"I for one didn't sign up for Starfleet to scrub shit or end up as yeti shit. I signed up to see the universe, not get eaten in it. This ship is insane." Cumberbatch griped.

"But we do get hazard pay. I keep savin up my matter rations, I'll build me a great grand house when I retire from this man's Starfleet. All the creature comforts replicated for my enjoyment, then settle down and watch all them vids I keep planning on getting around to watching. What about you?" Abercrombie eyed his shipmates. "Everybody's here for a reason. Why you?"

Diggle decided to go next. "Kinda a mix really. Easy life, good life skills, interestin' action now an then... Y'know, as long as ye don't get eaten or nuthn. When I retire I'll head back home an open up a pub."

"I just want to see some of the places this ship goes. It feels like we never get to get off the ship sometimes." Cumberbatch seemed committed to being negative.

"S'what the bloody portholes are for, Cumbersnatch!" Abercrombie laughed, shoving his friend's shoulder in roughneck style.

Diggle laughed as well at the joke until an eight foot tall Siberian wolf walked in through the mess hall's doors and plopped down in front of the viewports with what looked like half a deer and started munching on it. Finishing her rum in one go, she shook her head. "There's something you don't see every day. Think it came from that worldship?"

"Don't know," Abercrombie replied as he stood and took up his tray. "But I don't intend to stick around to find out of it's still hungry after that meal. C'mon laddies, carry on smartly now... time to call Security again."